I'm a lively bundle of interesting contradictions: equally happy in
the great cities of the world and in tiny coastal villages (just
not in suburbia or far inland), equally English and American,
sophisticated and childlike (not -ish, never fear), active (former
dancer) and contemplative (successful writer). Love dogs, dislike
cats. Love boats, hate motorcycles. Believe that chemistry alone is
not enough for a successful relationship, but without it, all the
common interests in the world won't suffice to compensate.
If you're a tall, lean, well-educated man on or near the coast--any
coast (I've lived on the Pacific and both sides of the
Atlantic)--and the inscrutable metrics here (what is that 'enemy'
thing?) seem promising, I'd like to hear from you. Sorry, but I
won't reply to anyone who has not posted a photo and answered at
least some of those infernal questions! I've made the effort and so
should we all, the better to know ourselves and each other. Also, I
must confess that I am not a fan of facial hair, except on my dog.
What I’m doing with my life
I write and teach writing (at a college and grad school) for a
living, and find both callings very rewarding, but I'd dearly love
to work a bit less and travel more--with the right companion. I'd
also like to devote more time to causes I care about, chiefly
abused and abandoned children and animals. Maritime history and old
ships are also enduring passions of mine.
I’m really good at
Writing, dancing, singing (have recently sung both cabaret songs
and sea chanteys in public--not at the same time), communicating in
multiple languages, reading people (and animals) and understanding
what they need. I'm also an excellent and creative cook.
The first things people usually notice about me
My height and carriage--I'm very tall and people often ask if I am
or was a dancer, which is a surprising but lovely thing to hear.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My taste in all things is wildly eclectic and (almost)
all-embracing. I have a deep love of classical music, but enjoy
almost any other kind except country and sentimental pop. I read
the New Yorker and the FT regularly, plus a lot of narrative
nonfiction and poetry (both of which I write and teach). Like most
kinds of food except Indian and fried things. Prefer serious
theatre to musicals, but adore Sondheim. Most of my favorite movies
were made before I was born, but the more recent (or less old)
"Don't Look Now" and "Le Grand Meaulnes" still haunt my dreams.
The six things I could never do without
Taking 'things' literally (so not including indispensable living
beings), I'd have to say the sea, family photographs, certain old
letters, a valid passport, manuscripts of my work, Zippy (the toy
monkey I've had since I was three) and chocolate.
As for the BIG things (okay, the sea is a very big thing), I could
not live without art, music and literature of the highest standard,
regardless of the mode of expression.
Living beings are not things, but since so many people here include
them in their lists, I must add that I am daily thankful beyond
words for my extraordinarily wonderful son and my zany little
terrier (a rescue with a terrible story). In different ways, both
have taught me to love unconditionally and live fearlessly.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...what the future will bring and my next writing project(s).
On a typical Friday night I am
...out with friends, trying a new restaurant, at a concert,
gallery-hopping, strolling along the waterfront in Boston or on
Cape Ann, or just romping with my dog. As often as possible, I'm on
the train to New York.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
What an oxymoronic question! If it's private, then it's not for
revealing here, right?
You should message me if
...you think we might be intrigued by each other and are, as I said
above, tall, fit, well-educated, on or near the ocean, and
preferably not fuzzy-faced. Sorry, but we all like what we like..!
I cannot understand why so many men who meet NONE of these criteria
write to me and press me to set aside my clearly stated
preferences. I would never expect a man who likes young, petite
blondes to give me the time of day, and I would not waste my time
or his writing to him. Life is too short for such exercises in
Also, my current zip code is irrelevant, while my username is not.
I am putting my house on the market in late May and am thinking
seriously about moving back to New York this summer. If you live
there or anywhere on Metro North, that's a huge plus.
One last thing--if I'm to be completely honest, I'd be highly
unlikely to form a serious relationship with anyone who is not a
mainstream Christian by upbringing, if not by active practice.