What better use of a self-summary than a description of your chosen user-name!
The German part was from my freshman year in college. On my residence hall floor we had 3 guys with the same first name, and we differentiated ourselves with geographical locations. I was raised in Alabama, but anyone who knows anything about Alabama will insist they're from somewhere else. I was born in Germany, and also spent a year of high school over there, so German Dave was my name.
Now, the Naked part does have a rather entertaining story to it. About 3 weeks into college, during Rush (it lasts 4-8 weeks at my school), I went to some sort of inverse mardi-gras event. The goal was to earn enough 'money' by doing stupid things that the girls told you to do. Well, I was getting desperate for more cash, and somebody had an idea that she thought nobody would do... And that's how I streaked a frat house, created a new rule about male nudity, and earned a new nickname.
Naked German is the obvious combination of the two nicknames--Try saying German Naked and you'll get what I mean.

I go to school occasionally, watch far more TV than I used to, and work out 3 times a week with my friends who are all far stronger than me.

I also fight crime, specifically negligence to pay rent, by throwing people out of their homes.

Don't laugh--Counterstrike/fps variants. Being random and lucking out. Entertaining people. Dodging and evading questions is another fine ability of mine.
Lately I've also picked up the knack for saying the wrong word. I know what I'm trying to say, but what makes sense to me usually means something completely different to everyone else. *shrug*
Also, I'm very good at being wishy-washy.
I have a great lack of fashion sense; one could, in fact, say I am really good at lacking it.

Editors

• justakean

My voice--I'm pretty loud.
Stick around for more than an hour or two and you'll definitely see that I don't view the world with the same eyes most people do.

"We" by Yevgeny Zamyatin. "Der Vorleser" by Bernhard Schlink, even if it is soft-core porn. "Links" by Nuruddin Farah. Usually only read Newsweek, the Huntsville Times, and Nat'l Geo/Smithsonian. does Fark.com count?
Fritz Lang's Metropolis Hud Zombieland The Princess Bride Tron Full Metal Jacket I am David Serenity Stranger Than Fiction Before Sunrise Harold and Kumar go to White Castle Hudson Hawk Clue Logan's Run Anything by Mel Brooks. What can I say? Cheesy movies make me smile.
As for music I'm a huge fan of Blank and Jones, Paul van Dyk, ATB, Milk, Inc. Paul Oakenfold Pendulum and others. As for non-techno There's always There Might be Giants, Cowboy Mouth, Fury in the Slaughterhouse, the Offspring, Cake, Dynamite Hack, The Hush Sound, The Like. To name some more we also have Muse, Placebo, John Reuben, Yellowcard, KJ-52, Guano Apes, Blink 182, A Tribe Called Quest, OK Go, Chronic Future, Coldplay, Die Prinzen, and Die Aerzte. Yes, some of those are "jesus bands."
My favorite foods, now in convenient list format. Doener kebaps (Gyros will do...), Lemonade, cheap Chinese take-out, Subway, ramen, orange juice, Cinnamon Life cereal, carrots. I like lots of things, those are my favorites. I've also been lactose intolerant since 2006.

the Internet, gaming, freedom, fresh air, sleep (I don't know why I need this, considering how little of it I get), and music. I think in that order.

Whether or not I'm a nihilist. I think I am, but I'm not sure. I could've sworn nihilists were supposed to be miserable, have german accents, and cut off their girlfriend's toes.
Why did OKC get rid of the paragraph HTML code? I used it to neatly compartmentalize all my thoughts and now they look messy.

How come everyone gets to put "there is no typical"?
I have been convinced that I should either be gaming with friends, or out on the town on Fridays. So it really depends on what my Internet friends are up to.

I don't really hate people. I just tend to distrust them.
One of my exes described me as follows, "complex, distant, and oftentimes unbalanced." I find that to be pretty accurate. Well, maybe not complex, more like obfuscated. She also calls me a "semi-feral cat." Also fairly accurate.
I am VERY easily distracted as of late.
I'm living with my parents. Free rent makes me a happy camper, but a sad panda.
I think I have Schizoid Personality Disorder. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid or at least, I think I share many symptoms with folks that do.

You don't mind stream of consciousness discussions. I'm serious, I don't follow too logical a pattern.
You don't mind hearing from me twice in a day, and then nothing for months. Yeah...