Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
To preface all of this... Stop reading if any of the following
applies to you: You lack confidence, you're a shitty person, you
judge people that drink or smoke weed, you hate intellectual or
philosophical conversation, you're desperately looking for a guy to
replace your ex because you're in withdrawal of oxytocin, you think
that people with different religious beliefs are wrong, you have
any respect for Justin Beiber, you can't have fun in a strip club,
or if you have written in your profile the word "fun-loving". Who
in the fuck doesn't like fun? Don't make me read something so
I live in the greatest city in the world, I'm blessed to live
downtown and not have to suffer through traffic, I have a dog that
greets me as if I come back to life every time I come home, I've
got parents that're cooler than yours, and I've invented a really
sweet game that combines drinking and Scattegories. Patent not
pending... If you steal my idea, I'll find you, and I'll force-feed
you twinkies indefinitely.
I graduated as an engineer in 2011 from UT and it was a complete
and utter mistake. I'm too extroverted and too attracted to
learning new skills to keep working on the same projects and
accepting the 2% raise every year like it's actually outpacing
inflation. I'm more the startup type than the 9-5 type. My mind
runs wild thinking of ways to improve things and make money -
constantly. You may be annoyed with me when I walk into a bar and
start critiquing their decisions and style.
I just realized that this summary basically tests my writing
skills, and if the SAT score back in the day is an indicator, my
writing is dogshit. I'm talking Creed-in-the-heiarchy-of-music
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Praying for someone to invent a hoverboard because it's 2015 and
Marty McFly rode one this year.
In all honesty - learning. I'm legitimately curious about what
people do for a living or how females conjure up thousands of bobby
pins out of thin air and and inexplicably leave them places.
About to quit my job and start something for myself, stay
Accumulating enough money to have the option to wake up one day and
make it rain $100 bills in a strip club. That was my second strip
club reference. It means nothing.
Circling back around to the question:
Working, meditating, shuttling my pup to and from the dog park or
around town lake, gym time, yoga time, randomly roaming reddit
(BITCHIN' ALLITERATION RIGHT THERE), random "Top 10 things to do in
Austin" type stuff, cooking something fairly healthy (yes, your boy
can cook), downtowning (I know it's not a present participle, don't
be a douchey grammar nazi), using parenthesis way too much with
little to no shame (fucking judge me, see if I care).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Sex - First-person shooters - Numbers - Knowing random things
(thanks, Reddit) - Gathering the will to go to the gym when I'm
dead tired - Most sports and sports knowledge - being outgoing and
talkative to strangers - Feeding my dog table scraps off the fork
without him touching the fork - Those arcade games where the lights
go around in a circle and you hit the button when it gets around to
the one in front of you labeled "Jackpot" - stealing the covers
when you least expect it - Cocooning the covers once you reach for
them - Knowing just enough Spanish to understand it... just not
when it's on TV, god damn they're fast - Annnnnnnd sex.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"I don't know, you tell me"
WHY DO PEOPLE SAY THIS ^^^^ FOR THIS QUESTION?! Fill out your own
I get along with everyone. I know, I know... Everyone says that.
But seriously. If you're with me in public and you aren't
comfortable making friends with the entire 100-foot radius around
us, then leave me at home... Preferably with weed, an internet
connection, and Jameson.
Broad chest - broad shoulders. The lady at Jos A Bank gave me this
cockeyed "what the fuck is wrong with your dimensions" stare after
she fitted me for a suit.
A stupid number of ppl I know or meet are starting to say I remind
them of Aziz Ansari... Here's what I say to that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: "Why read when you can watch the movie?" applies to me in
most cases. Malcolm Gladwell, Michael Lewis, The Economist, and
Maxim are my tastes when I read.
Movies - Memento, Fight Club, The Hangover, Usual Suspects,
Anchorman, Step Brothers, Inception (mind=blown), Shawshank
Shows - Breaking Bad, The League, Tosh.0, Arrested Development,
Lost (just the first four seasons, then the new writers decided to
vomit all over the plot), Orange is the New Black.
Music - If you wrote "Everything but......" for this question, then
I'm going to ask you for your favorite polka band and I'm going to
give you shit for liking Riverdance... you brought it on
As for me... Alt-J, Chet Faker, Johnny Cash, Z-Ro, UGK, Bill
Withers, Jack Johnson, John Newman, Santana, TLC (just because I
heard Waterfalls the other day).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The trash guy
The septic guy
The stupidity of Justin Beiber
This question sucks
Random drivel to make it look like I put 6.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The opposite of the following five words:
(See what I did there?! 🙈)
Trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I retire early.
Yeah, there are all those cliche answers like "travel the world" or
something like that, but that can't take more than a couple years.
How incredibly sexy I look when I do an absurd amount of chin ups
in the middle of the crowded gym.
Existentialism. Seriously. Mind-numbing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Likely ruining my Mon-Fri effort at letting my liver recover.
Smoking with some good friends and shooting shit.
Trying to figure out ways to scare bikers into actually following
street laws. If you run the stop sign, I'm gonna run the stop
sign... We'll see who wins.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I played video games professionally in high school. Thug for life.
I sign autographs at request. No one has requested and I'm now
concerned for my stardom. I know what it feels like to be Vanilla
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you can provide me with awesome conversation, maybe teach me
some things, and not have that "I need a relationship now" vibe to
you. If it's meant to be then it's meant to be.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.