I live in the greatest city in the world, I work for some of the greatest people I know, I have a dog that greets me as if I come back to life every time I come home, I've got parents that're cooler than yours, and I've invented a really sweet game that combines drinking and Scattegories. Patent not pending... If you steal my idea, I'll find you, and I'll force-feed you twinkies until Barack Obama finally decides to exercise some sort of authority as President (and I'm not even conservative).
I graduated as an engineer in 2011 from UT and I'm never going to design or engineer anything in my entire life. I'd rather push carts at your local HEB than design something that's been designed a few thousand times before. If you're an engineer, I owe you a lap dance (but you gotta earn it). Mad respect for all you introverts out there that can do that.
I just realized that this summary basically tests my writing skills, and if the SAT score back in the day is an indicator, my writing is dogshit. I'm talking Creed-in-the-heiarchy-of-music dogshit. Deal with it.