"There's not an ounce of malice in you."
"Has anyone told you that you look like Joe Flacco?"
"Are you related to Joe Flacco?"
"Congrats on the Super Bowl win!"
"As far as tattoos go, it's less douchey than most."
I'm a dork. I like humor, hiking, video games, beer, traveling, conversation, whiskey, and not shaving.