When I was a child, I owned a t-shirt that read "Aquatic Birds? Ask Me!"

Unfortunately, that shirt doesn't hold true anymore, but that's what we have the Internet for.

I'm a native Brooklynite who secretly wishes his home borough was still spelled Breuckelen. Now I live in the Upper West Side while masquerading as a mature and responsible adult.

Marketing reps for NPR, PBS, and Lincoln Center have told me that my mere existence messes up their demographic trends. I fervently believe that penguins should carry martini glasses with them at all times to make them seem even classier. My library is made up far too little fiction and far too many historical items. World War Two era espionage cannot have enough books written on it. I think permits to cary concealed Nerf weapons could be one of the best bad ideas ever, especially on the subway.

"But alone is alone, not alive"

I recently purchased a complete first edition of Winston Churchill's "The Second World War." Immediately after purchase, I spent a good 15 min just staring at them and enjoying the old book smell. I may or may not have a problem.

Whether or not I plan to read them, I still don't know, but damned if they don't look good on my shelf.

Currently, I work in socialtv. I'm uncertain as to whether or not I should have put a hashtag infront of the last word in that previous sentence. Upon further reflection, three conferences, and too many presentation modifications, yes; yes it does. I work in #socialtv. I will inevitably explain it to you, then take a shot out of sheer frustration. Owing to that, I tweet too much. I've recently realized I spend more time wearing a bowtie and blazer than not. The Peewee outfit has become oddly routine.

I'm an avid reader on the Middle East post-1938. And pretty much everything else.

I'm looking for people to show me bars in the UWS. I don't want to keep taking a train downtown to meet up with my friends. Ideally, I can find a good place and force them to come to me.

e: Turns out that bar is also my coffee place. And they only serve beer. But I have a loyalty card and they appreciate my dress style!

Recalling small, unnecessarily irrelevant details about things, memorizing useless statistics, and winning stuff on the Internet

I have a very long neck and no earlobes.

Books: Angels In America, The Divine Comedy, Anti-Semite and Jew, Operation: Mincemeat, Death and the Penguin, Harry Potter (but of course)
Shows: Angels In America, Sweeney Todd, Doctor Who, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, How I Met Your Mother, The Good Wife, Homeland.
Music: Crossfading WQXR and Hypem
Food: I once had a 80 dollar meal revolving around a cheeseburger. I'd probably do it again.

-a device with Internet connectivity
-unlimited MetroCard
-forcing people to use my middle initial (the necessary H.)
-my reading nook (not a nook as in B&N, but a nook as in the place where two walls meet)
-see, now I only need to think of two more things!

To what benevolent demon do I owe the joy of being thus surrounded with mystery, with silence, with peace and with perfumes? O beatitude! That which we generally call life, even when it is fullest and happiest, has nothing in common with that supreme life with which I am now acquainted and which I am tasting minute by minute, second by second! No! there are no more minutes, there are no more seconds! Time has disappeared; it is Eternity that reigns now!

Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon
Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft *Me* Jesus!

Would a male equivalent of the Dowager Countess be anywhere near as awesome?

Who spends the time and effort to send out copyright infringement notices against primetime broadcast television?

How is it that I can spend an entire day crafting pithy tweets and get 0 retweets off of them, and then accidentally tweet a video link without using the appropriate hashtag and receive over 1,200 RTs (including two major news sources) and 200 favorites without trying?

If the Singularity comes during my lifetime, do I want to be purely digital or have a robo-body?

(pretty much that)

Out doing stuff, fighting a magical zebra, at home reading, going to bed early. It doesn't really matter.

I've spent over $100 on Dr. John Zoidberg (from Futurama) related expenses. I'm probably not done spending.

-You think bowties are not only cool, but legitimate fashion objects
-You understand the difference between a penguin infatuation and a penguin obsession
-You understand that keeping data backed up in multiple sources is one of the most important things you can do
-You think taking an 11 hour train ride to Montreal for no good reason is an awesome idea
-You are brilliant, gorgeous, and more than mildly intimidating (might as well set the ideal out)
-You think spending Friday night at a gay bar belting showtunes is fun/completely understandable (sup Marie's Crisis)