That being said, while I am newly single I'm not currently in the market to rectify that. All I'm really interested in are like minded people who enjoy deep conversations about nothing in particular over a beer and some good food.
If you're going to badger me for sex at least be attractive. And literate. And starting off your messages with "I have to say..." or, "I'm just gonna be honest..." Is a sure fire way to getting your ass blocked since it almost always precedes a lengthy overinflation of your self worth, or the proposition of what you think is sex but is actually just 20 minutes of you scooping out my pelvis with your middle and fore finger.
It really pains me that way too many of you are just so incapable of composing an engaging and hooking greet that only contains 4 letters at the most or think that emoticons are acceptable for anyone beyond the age of 18 to use. Ok, let me just break down what would possibly negate these fallacies:
•looking for a long term relationship
•financially well off
•curious about EVERYTHING that may or may not be good for you in the long run
Mmmk? If you don't meet even half these qualities, bugger off and go message one of those portly pansexuals who are partial to cat ears.
I could either list some self-important dribble about how much of a refreshing intellectual I am, or some recycled trite about how I'm laid-back, down to earth, and that I like to travel (with pictures of me in front of various global landmarks emphasizing the fact). Instead I'd rather just spout off about crazy and seemingly all too personal tidbits that otherwise wouldn't be known til long after I've trapped you into an emotionally inescapable relationship with me, because I feel that people who go looking for subtly on the same plane as an online based relationship are woefully uninformed.
My emotional level has only 2 extremes; Fuck Yeah and Fuck You.
I get bored with people very easily. This is one part short attention span, and one half precocious misanthropy.
I find boob men to be quite infantile.
Filling this section with quotes only means that you're smart enough to know how to copy and paste.
Up until last Friday I hadn't had a rockstar in 5 years. But with DOMA dead, redundancy has never tasted so sweet.
I work out for at least 45 minutes every other day and I consume fiber like its going out of style.
I have a limited interest in couples. Unless you're Tracey and Hepburn, I ain't interested.
Asian cinema will always understand me, but I will never understand Asian cinema.
What do you call really shitty paintings and sculptures? Folk art.
I understand that there's been some confusion as to what I actually want, as it seems that I've spent more time listing off what I DON'T want. That's because I prefer to level the playing field by weeding out the undesirables as I make my pickings (the horticultural analogy was completely by happy accident). But to break it down, I'm looking for a male counterpart (I'm doubtful that I could have the same type of meaningful relationship with a woman that won't result in feelings of animosity and homicide) who shares my more tolerable qualities;
•Physically fit without making it a defining factor in sexual attraction.
•An appreciation for Eastern culture that doesn't border on Otaku.
•Can hold a text based conversation without substituting periods with "Lol".
•Musically inclined. I sing periodically to relieve stress and a creative partner would be wholly beneficial.
•A moderate capacity for empathy. Having an emotional connection doesn't necessarily mean that we need to cry together or any of that squishy, unrealistic crap. Brutal honesty is acceptable when needed.
•A HEALTHY interest in video games. Meaning that you don't devote entire days to playing online games with "friends".
But even as I write this, I immediately go to the qualities that I abhor, hence why what's listed above is so moderate. I'm willing to accept someone who's on the opposite spectrum as me as far as personal interests go, but its the behavioural traits that I feel deserve to be vocalized more than anything.
I truly have no tolerance, respect, or the slightest bit of acknowledgement as a fellow human being to ANY woman who refers to themself as a 'bitch'. I don't like the term being used as one of empowerment, or as a means as setting oneself apart from perceived weaker members of the gender, when the implication makes it very clear that you are a female dog in heat who's in need of a good, deep, dicking. You could be the most attractive woman I've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on, but if you call yourself a bitch then all I think is, "slimey, fucking mutt". But if you really must refer to yourself using a pejorative term, I'm ok with 'cunt'. I possess, therefore, I am.
I'm a writer, so words and context matter. What your username is will be enough of indicator of whether or not I'll find you attractive.
I like people that are down to do completely insane shit, but still know when to chill their passions and be calm and collected in the face of danger or reprimand. A trip to Target should take at least 2 hours, most of that including us going apeshit in the toy isle with all those motion activitvated baby dolls, and only resulting in the procuring of food we really shouldn't be putting in our bodies, but we don't give a fuck because we're still young enough to be able to drop 5lbs in 4 days.