One day, a seal is swimming around and sees something he's
never seen before. His curiosity piqued, he decides that he is
going to investigate. Proceeding warily, the seal slowly swims
to the unidentified mass. Suddenly, lights fly out the object to
give the image of a genie. He folds his arms and bellows:

You have set me free. For your effort I will grant you
up to 3 wishes. Know this however: whatever you may wish,
never will it be the one thing you want most. I am
going to count to 10, after which you must make your wishes.

To hear such a statement made the seal incredibly happy.

Let me have the strength to defeat anyone. Give me strength like
you. Let me have speed too. Give me the agility to chase
down all my foes.

Never will anyone be as strong or fast as you are now. I am
going to turn you into the fiercest shark to ever live.

To home swam the seal, imagining how his enemies would
run from his presence now. However, as he neared the waters
around his home, all his family and friends caught sight of him
and fled. Realizing that everyone he cared for would now
desert him, the seal raised his head and invoked his last wish.

You tricked me genie! For my last wish, I wish that I had
never met you. And poof, the seal was back in his original state
going about his own business. What is the purpose of that?
To highlight an analogy. You
make your own destiny. Only
you can make yourself happy. So don't
cry. Instead, pick your heart off the floor and
never settle.

Going to graduate school at UIUC. Hopefully they will allow me
to graduate in a reasonable amount of time with my PhD. They
say it typically takes 5 years. I'm a 1st yr., so I haven't had to say
goodbye to all my free time...yet. But then again, I hear it's
never that bad when you start...

Going to be honest. I'm pretty good at most things I attempt
to do. "Oh, yeah? Are you funny" you ask. From what my friends
tell me, I'm pretty hilarious. Even more so if I've had
a bit too much to drink. "Well you can't possibly be artistic." No
lie - when I was 9 I won an art contest at my Elementary school
and was $50 richer for it. I used to sketch a lot, but after I
hurt my hand, I stopped for a while. Still, I like to think it's a skill
you never lose.

We've just met. Maybe you can help me answer this :) I've
known people who say I have excellent taste in hats.

Each Game of Thrones book. Ender's Game, Ender's Shadow, The
other Ender series books were okay. Started reading Chrichton
for school, and ended up reading most of his books. Been busy
so a bit behind on my reading.

Long list of favorite movies. I tend to watch and enjoy
your typical blockbusters. Also independent films that jerk the
heart's strings, like My Sassy Girl (not the remake).

Been cooking a lot lately. I usually make chicken, but I'm always
aching for a good steak. I've been told I'm a decent cook,
but I have a limited recipe base. The advantage though is that
you're likely to be better at what you do make. I currently have
too many spices in my cabinets, and I'm definitely not
shy to experiment with new flavors.

TL;DR
Read first word of every line