1. I find smokers to be among the most disgusting people in the world so if you smoke(even just "once in a while", "when drinking" or even "rarely") I want nothing to do with you, I believe I've put that as clearly as possible.
2. I'm childfree for life and you must be too for me to have even the remotest interest in you, in case you don't know childfree means you don't have kids and don't ever want kids and nothing could ever sway you into wanting kids, of course if you're childfree for life I likely didn't have explain what it is.
3. If you are a conservative just stop right here and fuck off right now, I'm a far-left ultra-liberal to the core and I have no patience for freedom hating right-wingers and I despise conservatism and all of it's Satanic tenets, this includes LINOs(right wingers who claim to be libertarians) as well.
So now that I've finished being an asshole I'll now describe myself.
I have never had a girlfriend in any capacity in all my life(never had sex, never kissed, no type of date of any sort, never ANYTHING). I know that apparently the idea of a grown man who hasn't ever had a girlfriend seems to be a turnoff to the majority of women on this site but I feel that this is an important thing for me to mention in my profile.
I have epilepsy and since I have a seizure about once a year I'm not allowed to drive in this state, I also have a bad arm so I'm disabled and unable to do the only type of work I could get around here so I don't have a job and I live with my dad.
I just had to be honest about all of that upfront, I know that that a jobless loser without a car who lives with his dad has got to be a major dealbreaker for most women but I just felt I had to mention it here in my profile as well.
For more about me you should read my answers to the questions I've answered on here, they summarize me better than this, I warn you though that if your are offended by profanity I use the word fuck a LOT in the explanations.
Some people have told me that I shouldn't mention all this stuff in my profile but this is me, this is who I am and I'm not going to lie about myself, I hate empty profiles and I want to be as detailed as possible.
I've been told I can sing but I've heard my voice played back and I think I sound like a cross between Bob Dylan and Tom Waits, I don't know if that's good or bad.
I'm also able to lose and gain weight almost like Christian Bale.
As of June of 2014 it's much shorter.
Or it could be my right arm, it's covered in really cool scars from the surgeries I had on it when I was 3 and again when I was 12 and 13 and it's noticeably quite a bit shorter than my left arm.
That's that bad arm I was talking about and you know the punchline to the cosmic joke of it all? I'm technically right handed!
Comics, Stephen King, Garrison Keillor, Jack Kerouac, William S. Burroughs, The Dexter novels, Aleister Crowley, C.S Lewis(I know that's a very weird juxtaposition), Roald Dahl, Dennis Lehane, Cormac McCarthy, The Lovely Bones, The Time Travelers Wife, Larry McMurtry, H.P Lovecraft, Let The Right One In, Michael Crichton, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Hunter S. Thompson, Mick Foley.
The Big Lebowski, The Shawshank Redemption, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, JFK, The Dark Knight, Ghostbusters, Spirited Away, The Shining, Goodfellas, Fargo, Magnolia, Blue Velvet,A Clockwork Orange, Nosferatu(1979 version), There Will Be Blood, Young Frankenstein, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas,
Dumb and Dumber, Akira.
I am a bad movie connoisseur obsessed with Troll 2, Ed Wood movies, Roger Corman movies(although many of his aren't technically bad per se), Uwe Boll movies(we are few and far between, VERY few) and Asylum movies although I must be the only lover of bad movies in the world that hates Mystery Science Theater(I don't need three jackasses cracking terrible pseudo-hipster jokes to tell me why it's funny).
Back on the subject of good movies my favorite directors include Werner Herzog, The Coen Brothers, David Lynch, Akira Kurosawa, Robert Altman, Clint Eastwood, Terry Gilliam and Hayo Miyazaki .
Six Feet Under, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Dexter, Breaking Bad, My Name Is Earl, Smallville, Spongebob Squarepants, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Twin Peaks, Lost, King of The Hill, Beavis and Butt-Head, Lucky Louie, Louie, Raising Hope, Married With Children, The Ren & Stimpy Show, Bored To Death, Prison Break, Sherlock.
I watch a LOT of TV and mostly shows that aren't even on anymore.
My favorite genres are folk, alt country, industrial, film scores and neofolk.
I hate most hip hop/rap, most types of metal(symphonic and folk metal is decent though) and the grand majority of modern mainstream country(mainstream country in general in fact).
My favorite bands and singers are: The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, Tom Waits, The Doors, Bruce Springsteen, Pink Floyd, Johnny Cash(Johnny Cash was ROCK, not country, despite what anyone tries to say), The White Stripes, Wolfmother, Sigur Ros.
Current 93 and Coil are the two greatest bands you've likely never heard of.
Food: Japanese, Mexican, Italian, English(English food is HIGHLY underrated).
Cats(A straight guy who loves cats, what a shock huh?)
Books(I need to be entertained)
Tea(I drink several gallons per day)
Movies(I need to be doubly entertained)
Video games(Regular Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Playstation 1 and 2, Regular X-Box and Nintendo 64. They just don't make games like they used to.)
If you're childfree for life.
If you're liberal or at the very least apathetic or left leaning centrist.
If by some chance you like something you've read here.
I'll boil it down to something very simple: If you're pretty much the female version of me, humans aren't magnets, opposites DO NOT attract.