Hi, I'm Nick. I'm a professional musician, I like keeping fit
(gym/jogging/cycling/racquet sports - especially tennis), going to
gigs, travel, and occasionally getting inadvisably drunk.
I recently read that this is the world's funniest joke:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He
doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy
whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My
friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can
help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a
gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now
Let me know if you agree, or if you have a funnier joke.
What I’m doing with my life
I earn my keep by teaching guitar (bass at a school, and
electric/acoustic and ukulele privately), and doing occasional
session work and song writing. Otherwise, I recently passed my
second Grade 8 exam as well as playing in my current band, Uberkill
if you're interested and I didn't write any
of the lyrics by the way). I'm also writing and recording my own
stuff and am looking to start another band to play this live. If
you behave, I'll write you a song.
I’m really good at
I have a pretty good evil laugh (I'm working on an evil plan to
give it some context).
Making cheesecake and scrambled eggs.
I know the capital city of pretty much every country in the world
and am great at the US states game.
Quoting comedy shows and comedians.
Dancing (judge for yourself though).
The first things people usually notice about me
I've had two main celebrity comparisons. More flatteringly, I've
been frequently likened to a young James Spader.
Less flatteringly, I've been told that I'm a dead ringer for James
Holmes, the guy who shot all those people during the Batman film in
What celebrity comparisons have you had?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Dream Theater, Alt-J, Porcupine Tree, Arctic Monkeys ACDC,
Chvrches,, Chimp Spanner, Thank You Scientist, Arcane Roots, Jimi
Hendrix, System of a Down, Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Rage Against
the Machine, Tool, Van Halen, Steve Vai and Joe Satriani to name
but a few.
Books: To Kill a Mockingbird, all Orwell, all Hosseini, all
Murakami, some William Boyd, most Coetzee, etc. Complemented by spy
and crime thrillers and fact. I've read Guns, Germs and Steel three
times. I'm hoping to get my head round it on the fourth. If you
take your literature seriously, I heartily recommend buying any
Dean Koontz novel from the £1 Asda book section, pick up some booze
whilst there, and spend the evening with some like-minded friends
reading passages to each other. If there is a funnier way to
socialise, I'd like to hear it.
Films: The Third Man, Apocalypse Now, Lock Stock and Two Smoking
Barrels, Snatch, This is Spinal Tap, Forest Gump, A Prophet, Baader
Meinhof Complex, Taxi Driver, La Haine, The Rec Series, Almodovar,
Besson, etc. I most recently paid to see 12 Years a Slave, which
was excellent. I most recently went to see a test screening of a
film called Pressure. For pity's sake, I implore you not to spend
money on it when it comes out.
TV: Many, many BBC comedies, notably The Office, anything Partridge
and Blackadder, but the list is seemingly endless. Otherwise, Peep
Show (anything Mitchell and Webb), IT Crowd, Black Books (anything
with Dylan Moran basically), The Inbetweeners, Breaking Bad and
Homeland (just started getting into US box sets, got a few to
I like most types of food, but it's hard to top a gourmet burger
from the Covent Garden Grill. I have two foibles when it comes to
food. I don't eat fruit in its natural state (I can never get on
with the texture) but I like the flavour of most fruits and drink a
lot of smoothies to make up for it. I also don't eat birds and
especially dislike chicken (I'll eat it if I have to but try and
I'm always looking for new bands/books/films/meals etc. so if there
is one of these you couldn't live without, do share.
The six things I could never do without
I'm assuming we're not supposed to take this question too literally
and say things like food, water, clothing, shelter, medicine and a
sense of belonging and purpose so I'll say my guitar, my laptop, my
tennis racket, my books, the Tube and (last but not least) my
friends and family.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm a bit of a liberal lefty (justifiably I think) and think a lot
about how I'd make the world a better place. I also often have a
song on the brain or am writing a song in my head. I like thinking
about how different fictional characters would act if they met each
other, such as Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes and Jonathan
Creek, or Sheldon Cooper and Cliff Clavin from Cheers.
On a typical Friday night I am
There isn't really a typical night. I like a good night out with
drinks and dancing. I went to university in Brighton and still have
a lot of friends there so I often go down and relive the old times.
I also like a good gig: anything from an acoustic open mic night to
a full on metal gig. In fact, I may well be playing a gig myself
with my band nowadays. I'm happy to stay in and watch a film or two
with a take away and I like a good restaurant meal.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The reason I don't like chicken, or indeed most birds, is that I
was attacked by chickens when I was two. I have no memory of this
but now anything with wings and a beak makes me nervous. Apparently
it's called alektorophobia. If we meet, watch me as we walk down
the street and come across a pigeon. I promise you will crease
yourself laughing. However, other than this, I'm very manly and
will open any jam jar you put in front of me.