Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Disclaimer: first and foremost, before I ask you to strap on your
sarcasm only goggles, I am here looking for friends and potential
partners. In other words, if you're messaging me regarding sex
only, please move along to the next dick. I can get that along with
my choice of STD at any local bar, club, gas station, or whore
Having said that, I would like to add if I offend anyone by what
I've said in this profile, then I'd like to take this opportunity
to say in advance, lighten up fuckers.
The following should also be noted. If you have no brain, or if you
have a brain but it only holds regurgitated facts without any
independent thought, it might be best if you stop reading
A vast majority of what I write (as this uncanny replica of self
will attempt to demonstrate) is pretty much the first sarcastic
thought that came to mind, and even that criterion is often
However, although my humor might be a tad abrasive to some, for the
most part I'm just your average fella'. Long walks on the beach,
scratching, spitting, and vigorous nose picking which i have
perfected to a fine art. You know, the usual crap.
I am an INTP, if you believe that long ass test I took at college
(as well as an educated soul, if you believe all them drugs I took
since), and as such I might appear cold and aloof at first, but
that is rarely the case. I'm just the usual introvert, quiet at
first but once the initial hurdle has been passed, I'll ramble on
about various geeky topics.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Exploring new levels of consciousnesses with the greatly
appreciated help of various nameless vendors. I also work on
website development, computer repairs, and such. I try to pick up
as many trades and skills as I can.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
picking my nose. I seem to have a knack for it, really. I could
always get in those hard to reach corners. I have pianist
I can also put my legs behind my head, but I wouldn't go and call
myself really good at it - more capable. Now if I started doing
yoga... who knows.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I assume people take notice of my hair, but that is only a wild
speculation, and, therefore should be treated as such.
If fate has entwined our paths, I urge you to try and notice
whatever it is that you would've noticed naturally. Do not allow
this section to bias your opinion in any fashion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have been known to read, and I mostly enjoy them big words. I
found the trick is to go three letters at a time, and to try and
get enough sleep beforehand.
If it's funny, witty, or well written, I'd like to read it.
As far as movies are concerned, there is only so much room at the
top, and when forced to search at such great heights, there is, in
fact, only one true candidate that comes to mind. I am speaking of
course of the great foreign (see: porn) film from France: "French
Other than that, I'm quite big on comedies, sci-fi, and
documentaries. But mainly i'll binge watch random stand up, anime,
or other shows that have been well established, and have all
episodes available. Fuck waiting till next week.
Just about anything really mostly along the lines of Pink Floyd,
Muse, Radio Head, Nirvana, etc.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In the world we live in today, a world so overpopulated by bigotry
and hate, I would have to be a complete fool to post such sensitive
information for all to see.
I do have a note to all the charmingly witty people out there who
named 'Water' and 'Oxygen', and / or 'Sleep' and 'Sex'. It is
highly unlikely to have water without first having Oxygen (and
Hydrogen 2, I guess), but it is utterly impossible to have sex
without falling asleep shortly afterwards.
Consider this as an open invitation to prove me wrong.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the fact that this question used to be: "what do you think about
while masturbating", and when will they make the switch back.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
shit-faced. I might also have dinner, and nap, too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
- My nickname isn't really pending.
- I am a super massive nerd. So massive, in fact, that other
smaller nerds, gravitate around me. Every so often, they align in
perfect harmony. It's really quite breathtaking - what with all the
allergies and asthma.
- I'm a weirdo, and i'm kinda kinky, nothing that required special
equipment or outfits, though they will sure be appreciated.
- I'm picking my nose*.
*This statement is true in respect to the time in which it was
written, before said time, and ever-since the very creation of
matter and/or the illusion of it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I am far from being the best person to be giving personal advice on
such matters. For instance, It takes me about an hour to choose
bread at Walmart.
The human catalogue featured here is just as difficult as choosing
bread, I'd say, if not marginally harder. So I suggest just go a
head and do it. For better or worst, we'll figure out the kinks
I suppose you should also message me if you want to play with my
pipi, or shoot pool. The theme I seem to be going with here is play
featuring phallic objects and balls. And after reading this
hilarity, who wouldn't? I know I do.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.