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31 San Antonio, TX Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25-35
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Straight, Sapiosexual
Middle Eastern, White, Other
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 10" (1.77m)
Body Type
Used up
Special Diet
Judaism and laughing about it
Working on Space camp
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
English (Fluently), Hebrew (Fluently), German (Somewhat), Other
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Disclaimer: first and foremost, before I ask you to strap on your sarcasm only goggles, I am here looking for friends and potential partners. In other words, if you're messaging me regarding sex only, please move along to the next dick. I can get that along with my choice of STD at any local bar, club, gas station, or whore house. I'm all down for fucking, but if we can't have a conversation before/after, I doubt it'll be a worthwhile experience. Also, new to San Antonio so feel free to offer suggestions of places to see / go fuck myself at.

I would like to add if I offend anyone by what I've said in this profile, then I'd like to take this opportunity to say in advance, lighten up fuckers. The following should also be noted. If you have no brain, or if you have a brain but it only holds regurgitated facts without any independent thought, it might be best if you stop reading now.

Having said all that, I can continue. A vast majority of what I write (as this uncanny replica of self will attempt to demonstrate) is pretty much the first sarcastic thought that came to mind, and even that criterion is often debatable.

However, although my humor might be a tad abrasive to some, for the most part I'm just your average fella'. Long walks on the beach, scratching, spitting, and vigorous nose picking which i have perfected to a fine art. You know, the usual crap.

I am an INTP, if you believe that long ass test I took at college (as well as an educated soul, if you believe all them drugs I took since), and as such I might appear cold and aloof at first, but that is rarely the case. I'm just the usual introvert, quiet at first but once the initial hurdle has been passed, I'll ramble on about various geeky topics.

As of recently I am in removal proceedings to get deported for having overstayed my visa. So, unless you're a dedicated frequent flyer, I'm mainly here for new friends, experiences, and short term dating. I am open to possibility of more, but I wouldn't hold my breath now.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Exploring new levels of consciousnesses with the greatly appreciated help of various nameless vendors. I also work on website development, computer repairs, and such.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
picking my nose. I seem to have a knack for it, really. I could always get in those hard to reach corners. I have pianist fingers.

I can also put my legs behind my head, but I wouldn't go and call myself really good at it - more capable. Now if I started doing yoga... who knows.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I assume people take notice of my hair, but that is only a wild speculation, and, therefore should be treated as such.

If fate has entwined our paths, I urge you to try and notice whatever it is that you would've noticed naturally. Do not allow this section to bias your opinion in any fashion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have been known to read, and I mostly enjoy them big words. I found the trick is to go three letters at a time, and to try and get enough sleep beforehand.

If it's funny, witty, or well written, I'd like to read it.

As far as movies are concerned, there is only so much room at the top, and when forced to search at such great heights, there is, in fact, only one true candidate that comes to mind. I am speaking of course of the great foreign (see: porn) film from France: "French Satisfaction."

Other than that, I'm quite big on comedies, sci-fi, and documentaries. But mainly i'll binge watch random stand up, anime, or other shows that have been well established, and have all episodes available. Fuck waiting till next week.

Just about anything really mostly along the lines of Pink Floyd, Muse, Radio Head, Nirvana, etc.

Mostly vegetarian.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In the world we live in today, a world so overpopulated by bigotry and hate, I would have to be a complete fool to post such sensitive information for all to see.

I do have a note to all the charmingly witty people out there who named 'Water' and 'Oxygen', and / or 'Sleep' and 'Sex'. It is highly unlikely to have water without first having Oxygen (and Hydrogen 2, I guess), but it is utterly impossible to have sex without falling asleep shortly afterwards.

Consider this as an open invitation to prove me wrong.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the fact that this question used to be: "what do you think about while masturbating", and when will they make the switch back.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
shit-faced. I might also have dinner, and nap, too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
- My nickname isn't really pending.

- I am a super massive nerd. So massive, in fact, that other smaller nerds, gravitate around me. Every so often, they align in perfect harmony. It's really quite breathtaking - what with all the allergies and asthma.

- I'm a weirdo, and i'm kinda kinky, nothing that required special equipment or outfits, though they will sure be appreciated.

- I'm picking my nose*.

*This statement is true in respect to the time in which it was written, before said time, and ever-since the very creation of matter and/or the illusion of it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I am far from being the best person to be giving personal advice on such matters. For instance, It takes me about an hour to choose bread at Walmart.

The human catalogue featured here is just as difficult as choosing bread, I'd say, if not marginally harder. So I suggest just go a head and do it. For better or worst, we'll figure out the kinks later.

I suppose you should also message me if you want to play with my pipi, or shoot pool. The theme I seem to be going with here is play featuring phallic objects and balls. And after reading this hilarity, who wouldn't? I know I do.