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31 M Greenville, SC

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:34am
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Graduated from masters program
Entertainment / Media
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), French (Okay), German (Poorly), C++ (Okay)

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My self-summary
~Happy peanuts soar
Over chocolate covered mountain tops
And waterfalls of caramel.
Prancing nougat in the meadows
Sing a song of satisfaction
To the world. ~

The world.

In short: I'm Cute, I'm Funny, I am Beard.

In Long:
I'm someone that sees comedy in everything so if you don't like to laugh, you are either a robot and humans shouldn't date robots; or you are dead inside and thus a zombie, and although it would work in "Warm Bodies" you'd probably end up being a rage zombie and run me down and eat my face off.

I love movies and quoting them. Thanks to TBS/TNT reruns I can quote several movies including MIB, Rush Hour, and Die Hard 1 and 2 pretty much word for word. Although the latter is also probably because I have a man-crush on Bruce Willis. (psh, who doesn't, am I right?)

I have some incredible calves. Not the bovine kind, although that would be pretty sweet. Seriously, I looked at my calves the other day and almost started an OKC profile just for them.

I'm equal parts nerd and athlete. I love doing outdoor stuff with other people. I learned how to snowboard over Christmas two years ago and it was frickin sweeeeet. People were calling me the next Shaun White. Probably because of how not tan I am.
I am also down for some vidya games. So if you are a lady gamer, bring it. I don't go easy on you unless you are really cute trying to play. I'm all for equality, yo.

I'm really looking for a beautiful woman to sweep me off my feet. Cause then I'll know she's bad ass enough to do ground kicks, and we could spar and high five and stuff.

Update: looks like I have found her. Annnd from OKC no less. She literally swept me off my feet yesterday and now my toe hurts. I don't want to delete my profile since I never write this much and feel it would be a shame to get rid of it, but it looks like this pile of man meat has been taken off the market.
What I’m doing with my life
Got my MFA in Digital Production Arts (aka making movies and games).
Got a job in Greenville. An underpaid, overworked job, but at least it's doing stuff I love. Sometimes. When there's actual work to do...
I’m really good at
Doing cartwheels. I know, right?
Sweeping the leg.
Taking pictures with giant prime numbers.
Doing accents and voices. So if you want to date an Australian guy or Sean Connery, just lemme know ;)

Speaking of: When does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

.. Tennish
The first things people usually notice about me
My beard
For some reason my socks. I ... really don't know why girls are so interested in looking at my ankles. Yes, they are great but... seriously... my eyes are up here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Robert Jordan fan. (FINALLY finished, thank you Brandon Sanderson!) Yes, I read Harry Potter, yes I teared up a bit when Neville goes all heroic, and yes I can do a pretty good Dobby impersonation.
I'm also a George RR Martin fan, as much as one can be a fan of having a new book come out every 8 years...

Movies - Just about anything Ol' Bruce Willis graces us with. I'm also a big Tarantino fan. And the Avengers and all the leadup films. I'll watch just about anything though. I've yes, even seen the Notebook, but mostly out of respect for Ryan Gosling's beard.

Shows - The Office, Game o Thrones, Parks & Rec, Dexter, Weeds, the Daily Show, Colbert Report, Archer, also just started Breaking Bad and the Walking Dead - pretty awesome so far. Gotta stop watching them while eating lunch though :(
Also jumped on the Arrested Development train. It's a pretty sweet ride.

Food - Love me some steak. Hate me some Mushrooms...
I love all non "american" foods: Thai, Caribbean, Indian, Mongolian are my most favorites, but I'm down to try anything at least once.....minus mushrooms. I just recently ate a chocolate cricket. Don't knock it till you try it.
Update: definitely adding Vietnamese to this list. It was pho-nomenal!
The six things I could never do without
Water (served by Brita filters or Aquafina, none of that nasty Dasani or Deer Park crap)
Some sort of physical activity
Samuel Smith Organic Chocolate Stout. (HOLY SHITE, BUY IT NOW)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Who would win in a fight....
What super power I'd want (teleportation is at the top for now)...
Good beer
Doing pull ups like Will Smith in "I Am Legend"
On a typical Friday night I am
I am as comfortable on a couch as I am in a bar. Both can be fun and good, all depends on the company.
Sometimes I am out fighting crime though.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
On drives longer than 10 minutes I blast my music and sing at the top of my lungs whilst doing the hand out the car, fish-swim-wave thing. Aeropalmics, yo.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You like guys with beards.
Or, if you don't, message me to convince me otherwise. I would love to hear your argument, and I'd stroke my wondrous beard
whilst pondering the many responses to your futile efforts.

Also, if you like good beer, especially dark beer, we could do great things together. Terrrible... but great.