Over chocolate covered mountain tops
And waterfalls of caramel.
Prancing nougat in the meadows
Sing a song of satisfaction
To the world. ~
In short: I'm Cute, I'm Funny, I am Beard.
I'm someone that sees comedy in everything so if you don't like to laugh, you are either a robot and humans shouldn't date robots; or you are dead inside and thus a zombie, and although it would work in "Warm Bodies" you'd probably end up being a rage zombie and run me down and eat my face off.
I love movies and quoting them. Thanks to TBS/TNT reruns I can quote several movies including MIB, Rush Hour, and Die Hard 1 and 2 pretty much word for word. Although the latter is also probably because I have a man-crush on Bruce Willis. (psh, who doesn't, am I right?)
I have some incredible calves. Not the bovine kind, although that would be pretty sweet. Seriously, I looked at my calves the other day and almost started an OKC profile just for them.
I'm equal parts nerd and athlete. I love doing outdoor stuff with other people. I learned how to snowboard over Christmas two years ago and it was frickin sweeeeet. People were calling me the next Shaun White. Probably because of how not tan I am.
I am also down for some vidya games. So if you are a lady gamer, bring it. I don't go easy on you unless you are really cute trying to play. I'm all for equality, yo.
I'm really looking for a beautiful woman to sweep me off my feet. Cause then I'll know she's bad ass enough to do ground kicks, and we could spar and high five and stuff.
Update: looks like I have found her. Annnd from OKC no less. She literally swept me off my feet yesterday and now my toe hurts. I don't want to delete my profile since I never write this much and feel it would be a shame to get rid of it, but it looks like this pile of man meat has been taken off the market.