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32 Greenville, SC Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Other, and very serious about it
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Entertainment / Media
More than $1,000,000
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), French (Poorly), German (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), C++ (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
~Happy peanuts soar
Over chocolate covered mountain tops
And waterfalls of caramel.
Prancing nougat in the meadows
Sing a song of satisfaction
To the world. ~

The world.

In short: I'm Cute, I'm Funny, I'm Beard.

In Long:
I'm someone that sees comedy in everything so if you don't like to laugh, you are either a robot and humans shouldn't date robots; or you are dead inside and thus a zombie, and although it would work in "Warm Bodies" you'd probably end up being a rage zombie and run me down and eat my face off.

I love movies and quoting them. Thanks to TBS/TNT reruns I can quote several movies including MIB, Rush Hour, and Die Hard 1 and 2 pretty much word for word. Although the latter is also probably because I have a man-crush on Bruce Willis. (psh, who doesn't, am I right?)

I have some incredible calves. Not the bovine kind, although that would be pretty sweet. Seriously, I looked at my calves the other day and almost started an OKC profile just for them.

I'm equal parts nerd and athlete. I love doing outdoor stuff with other people. I learned how to snowboard over Christmas two years ago and it was frickin sweeeeet.
I am also down for some vidya games. So if you are a lady gamer, bring it. I don't go easy on you unless you are really cute trying to play. I'm all for equality, yo.

I'm looking for a beautiful woman to sweep me off my feet. Cause then I'll know she's bad ass enough to do ground kicks, and we could spar and high five and stuff.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Got my MFA in Digital Production Arts (aka making movies and games).
Got a job in Greenville doing cool Virtual Reality stuff.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Doing cartwheels. I know, right?
Sweeping the leg.
Taking pictures with giant prime numbers.
Doing accents and voices. So if you want to date an Australian guy or Sean Connery, just lemme know ;)

Speaking of:
When does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

.. Tennish
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard
For some reason my socks. I ... really don't know why girls are so interested in looking at my ankles. Yes, they are great but... seriously... my eyes are up here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - Robert Jordan fan. Yes, I read Harry Potter, yes I teared up a bit when Neville goes all heroic, and yes I can do a pretty good Dobby impersonation. I'm also a George RR Martin fan, as much as one can be a fan of having a new book come out every 8 years...

Movies - Just about anything Ol' Bruce Willis graces us with. I'm also a big Tarantino fan. And gotta love that Marvel. I'll watch just about anything though. I've yes, even seen the Notebook, but mostly out of respect for Ryan Gosling's beard.

Shows - The Office, Game o Thrones, Parks & Rec, Dexter, Weeds, the Daily Show, Arrested Development (ANUSTART!), Californication, IASIP, Colbert, Archer, and the Walking Dead.

Food - Love me some steak. Hate me some Mushrooms...
I love all non "american" foods: Thai, Vietnamese, Caribbean, Indian, Mongolian are among my favorites, but I'm down to try anything at least long as there's no fungus among us.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Water (served by Brita filters or Aquafina, no Dasani)
Some sort of physical activity - I especially like to Ball.
Games - vidya, or otherwise
Great beer. Not good beer, beer so great it's worth a hipster meme.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Who would win in a fight....
What super power I'd want (teleportation is at the top for now)...
Good beer
Doing pull ups like Will Smith in "I Am Legend" (These are harder than they look. I can do lots of regular pullups, but these are something else!)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
as comfortable on a couch as I am in a bar. Both can be fun and good, all depends on the company.
Sometimes I am out fighting crime though.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
On drives longer than 10 minutes I blast my music and sing at the top of my lungs whilst doing the hand out the car, fish-swim-wave thing. Aeropalmics, yo.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like guys with beards.
Or, if you don't, message me to convince me otherwise. I would love to hear your argument, and I'd stroke my wondrous beard
whilst pondering the many responses to your futile efforts.

If you got any of my hidden references in my profile you get major bonus points. As in, if you're cute and you got my references, we just might get married soon.

Also, if you like good beer, especially dark beer, we could do great things together. Terrrible... but great.