My very first date from an online connection -- a sea captain!-- said, "You are a rare find. But what do you like to DO? People are going to want to know what you like to do. That's how this thing works." I don't have a very concrete answer. I like pretty much everything, given the right company and moment: music, dancing, travel, movies, plays, biking, hiking, absolutely nothing. The list of things I don't like (Republican fundraisers, golf outings, shopping, sweet pickles) is pretty small.
I was born in the Sacramento Valley, up against the foothills of the Sierras. My youth was spent looking for snakes (terrified), arrowheads, my horse, and the novels my mother hid because she thought they were smutty. I went to Ohio for college and wound up staying in Cleveland for the next 40 years. I moved here in fall of 2012, a year after my second marriage ended to live near my daughter and her babies and resume life as a west coaster.
The men I'm attracted to combine intelligence, humor, tenderness and curiosity. And niceness-- a much under-valued quality. And humility. Really, we are all kind of like dogs trying to follow a chess game.
I'm a writer, and I love my work. I have written about almost everything for one magazine or another-- love it when people pay me to write about travel-- but mostly write about science, trying to make the complicated guts of the world fascinating. In 2014, my third book was published -- this one's about the connection between healthy soil (it's a complex biomaterial, not just dirt) and climate, food, water.
I would ultimately like a partner again, a sweetheart and lover and companion. Someone who enjoys a community of friends and family, who likes putting together great meals and eating/talking/laughing with others. Someone who hasn't already made up his mind about everything and is curious about the world and all its odd ways. Someone who not only wants a relationship with a woman but has some facility for attachment. Someone who doesn't need me around all the time, but who feels life is richer with my presence. I have met many interesting men, but have not found that sweet spot in the Venn diagram where chemistry and compatibility overlap.
What I’m doing with my life
Still trying to get to know Portland-- only been here three years. And still working. I don't think writers are allowed to retire.
I’m really good at
Listening. Noticing. Learning new things.
The first things people usually notice about me
Who knows? I was sitting with a male friend at a bar a few years ago and another guy walked by and said, "You the man! She's gorgeous!" But honestly, I think he was pretty drunk. Or maybe I paid him to say that and then forgot.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like these authors: Rohinton Mistry, Richard Russo, Margaret Drabble, Toni Morrison, Per Petterson, Ann Patchett, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Chabon, Dickens, George Eliot, Jonathan Lethem, Tracy Kidder, Michael Pollan., Richard Ford, Alice Munro, Colum McCann. I could go on and on.
These publications: The New Yorker, the New York Times, Discover, the Atlantic.
These TV shows: Larry Wilmore, Louis CK, Doc Martin, Homeland, The Tudors, Downton Abbey, Foyle's War, The Good Wife, and a string of old shows set in high schools which had great writing and tough girls: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Freaks and Geeks, Veronica Mars.
These movies: A Separation. Winter's Bone. Forty Year Old Virgin. Many more, just can't remember the names.
These musicians/singers: Nellie McKay, Florence and the Machine, Springsteen, Chronos Quartet, Lyle Lovett.
The six things I could never do without
I like to travel light. But I treasure my two dogs -- they shepherded me (pun intended) through a bleak stretch, my daughter, my friends. Okay, stuff that delights me: my red teakettle, my green boots, my mother's gigantic shaggy orchid that continues to outlive her.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to be a giver. How to make connections.
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't even have a typical Friday morning. I'm often unaware that
it IS Friday. That's what happens when you're a freelancer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't know why people say "I'm sex-positive." It sounds like a disease.
Of course, that's not really a private thing at all.
You should message me if
I'm only interested in men who live in or very near Portland, who are over 58, and who like/d their mothers. I prefer men who have children and have had longterm relationships in the not too distant past. I am not pleased if you misrepresent your age. Also, I haven't ponied up for whatever OKC feature that reveals the people who "like" me. So if you like me, say so.