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31 Oakland, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 11:55pm
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
INTJ, 6w5.

I came here to get weird, and I have done that. I have not, however, found my appetite for the constant divorce from normalcy to sate so quickly at the dwindling offerings of this desiccated, ubiquitously branded, dying star of the West. Let's pretend that American culture still has the capacity to generate magnificence long enough to support us in desecrating some loathsome emblem of the impending death of free thought and self-determination before the very same becomes our identitiy. Or we could netflix 'n' chill if that's more your speed.

Nonconventional, nonconformist, nonsensical, nonplussing.
Introverted, informal, intricately inquisitive, intuitively inclined, infrequently indolent, intermittently infantile, incurably indignant, incisively insolent, invective-invoking, intentionally inflammatory, interference-inducing, internet-integrated interior interloper inexorably involved in intimately investigating infinite information. Incredibly, initially-ingrained ingenuity indisputably intact. Indifferent? Incredulous? Invalid inferences.

My teeth rend the gifts of earth and sea. My lungs borrow their share of the winds. My rain-wet tissues transmute their essences into convulsing, electric fire which, climbing into the aether through my coiled spendor, etches its immortal signature into the walls of limitlessness. The skies tremble in unison. Each of these thunderclaps, deafening in its own dominion, is washed out, infinitesimal, rendered null in the absolute by the endless birth of creation.

I transfer, organize, and synthesize information, concepts, matter and imagery. I vibrate the names of ancient beings to the four corners of the world. I scream endlessly into the void in the vain hope that it may one day return the favor. I have been paid fairly well for my mastery of symbols.

I am an antihero in my own comedy noir.

I am an event, specifically a catastrophe, unfortunately not the kind you can't look away from. I could use the attention.

I have been observed by many tens of thousands of people. Their experiences have generated mixed reviews. To be impartial in recounting, I'll need to contact them and do some research. I'll get back to you in 40 to 50 years.

If you don't mind some self-serving bias, then here you go: my gaze is known to shatter minds, I once shook God's hand and then beat him at arm wrestling, and I smell like James Earl Jones sounds. Everything I own is gold-plated. I've been elected President of the United States of America every four years since 1992 under an assumed name after campaigning in movie makeup. After each victory, I appointed a CIA-engineered doppelganger to occupy the office for me while I trained models in nude lion jousting in the Australian outback. The videos have been lost in a tragic submarine fire, which to this day is the most ironic and expensive misfortune I've experienced. The shipping costs for lions are actually quite low, however. You'd be shocked at how many people are dying to get rid of lions. The models are what set me back.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I currently work only every other week and I make plenty of money. You are jealous of this and you can't handle it. You don't even know what you just read and you may re-read it. You may also neglect to re-read it for fear that I have somehow won a psychic victory over you by predicting your behavior. Of course, I just predicted that also. Now that you're trapped in the gravity well of intention that I've created, try to argue to me that free will exists, I fucking dare you.

Also, I'm trying to become a worse person. Ask me why if you care about your intellectual development.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Thinking, metathinking, and explaining thoughts (including yours).

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram.

Organizing list items by length (decreasing).

Emotional reasoning.

Ego transparency.


Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read philosophy, spirituality, politics, psychology, and occult. I avoid fiction.

I watch comedy, which is the higher art compared to drama. Comedy is gracious enough to allow drama to believe that it's the finer of the two in much the same way that a parent lets a child win at a difficult board game, unless the parent has some kind of emotional difficulty that makes him unfit to raise children like my fucking father did. I swear to god if I lose one more game of online chess I'm going to extinguish a living thing just to feel a sense of power for a goddamn instant. Wish me luck in finding a living thing remaining in California.

I listen albeit infrequently to progressive, otherworldly, moody, angry, and/or trance-like rock, metal, industrial, and electronic. I used to consume more grunge, indie, and other more popular, youthful rock music like Incubus, NIN, and Radiohead. I enjoyed in this music the display of the urge to express, overcome, and transcend, which is all about reaching higher in spiritual attainment. Reciprocally, I recoil at anything too base and/or simplistic in structure or in meaning. Party music, self-aggrandizement, or anything emotional for the sake of emotion is right out. With age, I have refined my tastes to eliminate anything that does not resonate purely with the absolute core of my being, in which dwells a severity that I trust I have made palpable to you by now. Still with me? You're probably my type if so. Listen to pretty much anything by Animals as Leaders for a nail-on-the-head sample of my primary musical interests at the moment. Listen also to anything by Raiju for another sense of my tastes, and also because they're local and I gave the guitarist a ride once.

I eat everything, ravenously so, and I take home the leftovers. I actually try to avoid too much meat, but I lift weights for MAD GAINZ so I need my animal protein. Eggs, cheese, and whey powder usually do the trick, but chicken tikka masala is an irresistible treat.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Objects
2. Non-objects

Shit, I ran out of things.

3. Non-collapsed quantum object/non-object superpositions.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
1. Food, sex, and sleep.

2. Existence and why it exists at all and what in the name of righteous indignation I am to do about it. Honestly, what the hell am I really supposed to make of a whole universe? Who thought it was a good idea to put me in the middle of this clattering celestial clusterfuck with no instructions and let me run off on my own? God is a deadbeat.

3. Thinking. This generally soon becomes a Russian-doll type fractal made of thoughts containing thoughts until I get hungry, horny, or tired. Then I think about food, sex, or sleep.

4. The particularities of being human; our subconscious and how it becomes physical through the structures that we build to sate its various lusts, and the corollary juxtaposition of our zeitgeist-instilled belief that we are, at our purest, individuals with agency who can choose what to believe, value, and create. Unless one has done an enormous amount of personal work sufficient to deconstruct these tacit modes of living (no, you haven't), one tends toward a nearly robotic adherence to the slave-driving urges of the body and its survival mechanisms, which is quite contrary to the adored idea that we are in any way free. We all are born slaves to the gods of blood and flesh and we may only free ourselves through the holy light of self-destruction. Rid yourself of your self and join me beyond the void.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Setting blood afire.

Typically my own blood, typically while still inside my body, and typically fire created through combustion on a mitochondrial scale -- you know, typically.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've seen to the end of infinity and now nothing less will suffice.

You know when it's time to move for others and when it's time for others to move for you.

You can look at the dark just as much as the light without letting it unmake you. Californians have difficulty recognizing the duality between light and dark, always insisting that everything is all or mostly good or that a bad thing was secretly good all along. Don't do that. It's bad for your mind.

You can be authentic, which I will know straight away. It's really very simple: bear to me your soul and you will be found; hide and remain lost. Wearing various time-tested facades seems to work well in replicating material and social success, but at a cost not often recognized. Are the empty outfits and painted-on faces who gather daily in their tube-lit, plastic cathedrals in time for The Great Waltz of Numbers not shaken to the marrow at the terror of having been seen for naught but their trappings? Do they believe themselves to truly be these ornaments, these figures, this dance? Or do they know these malevolent specters as the living weapons of division that they are and yet still willfully acquiesce to the sacrifice that their mastery demands? If the latter, then for what gain? Play the part and merely a part you will remain. Melt into the nakedness of your flowing glory and primal desperation and you will have done the work of calling in your due. You need not become, you need only release. There, I saved you decades of despair and confusion. Find a way to thank me.