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30 M Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:48pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Graduated from masters program
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids

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My self-summary
Here's the sane part of my profile with the normal-people things in it: BEGIN SANE PART

I'm a smart and funny guy with a lot of talents that aren't too well-developed. It's time to pick one or two and push them harder. I like to bike. The East Bay is the best biking location I've ever lived in. I lift weights, too. I care a lot about health, ethics, politics, and philosophy in general. I like to think about things and talk to other people who also think about things. I cook every day. I'm particular about food. I am an internet culture savant. I always have a relevant video or .gif. I play guitar fairly well but I want to be excellent. Same with singing. I prefer deep relationships with a few people to having loads and loads of friends I don't know well. I put a lot of effort into escaping the rat race but I'm not much closer than I was before.


intellecual contemplative perfectionist psychonaut philosopher bohemian empath hilarious creative self-knowing idealistic reliable political ruminating and always hungry.

One message that our society holds dear, with which I and likely you as well have been bombarded from all sides during the formative years of our growth and which for that reason is difficult for the less introspective of us to question is that we would do better to lie about who we are and that this is ultimately a moral and admirable action. This message takes many forms and occupies many niches in our vernacular, springing mostly from blithe and pithy idioms about success -- 'fake it 'til you make it,' you might have heard, or 'lead with your best foot forward.' Unrecognized by adherents to the meaning invested in these various witticisms and catch phrases and suppressed as well by the content of the resulting dialog itself is the dire, dire importance of intimately knowing and being able to live in harmony with our faults, our weaknesses, what Jung called the shadow of the human psyche. We are advised to hide these ugly things away and to pretend that they never existed in the first place. When we do so, others are able to see only the best of us, and thereby we set traps for one another. Friends, employers, prospective lovers, the whole of humanity is exposed at first only to our most flawless and shimmering facets, leaving all of that dreadful, shameful ugliness we've hidden away -- 'hidden' only, because it *will* be found -- to be discovered later, after a bond is formed, after it is too difficult to part ways in light of the discovery and after all the suffering and dissonance that this ugliness creates has conned its way into a cohabitance where it was never welcome but is preserved even if ephemerally by the duplicity that preceded it. We speak not in words as much as we do in fish hooks, and we are training each other to continue, to intensify, to sophisticate our efforts, to wave the banner of a nation of ensnarement and to cheer when we see someone reel in a big one.

And of course, it works. It is the only thing that *can* work in a game where most everyone agrees that these are the rules. When we 'dress for the job we want,' so to speak, we are certainly more likely to get it when doing so enables us to appear better suited for it than the other applicants. Anyone who in honesty and with an open heart lays bare all of their broken pieces can never compete with an immaculately coiffed image obscuring a yet-just-as-broken process of being. We are thusly forbidden from living as authentic enactments of our deeper passions and we are offered instead the booby prize of a chance at competing in a marketplace where the product we must sell in order to succeed is only a snapshot of ourselves, taken from the best angle in the best lighting on a good hair day, without substance, a mere image we must pass off as the proper article if we are to find acceptance.

And we are told, as we go on to tell others, that because it works when done well it is a good thing to do or even that it is the *right* thing to do.

On and on we go, suppressing ourselves to impress others, until we forget who we ever were to begin with.

And then, of course, we cannot understand why we all need therapy.

If you are going to know me, the first and most important thing you will know is that I do not heed this recommendation to obscure the less palatable of the constituent elements of my psyche and that I will respond poorly if I find that you do. I am unabashedly, nakedly myself at all opportunities. I have suffered unqualifiable falure and rejection for this choice and it has been worth it. The only thing that there is left in life is the search for others who have made the same commitment.

Tell me who you are or do not waste my time.
What I’m doing with my life
Collecting more lives. It's all about growth. I'm hoping to maintain a consistent life accumulation rate of 12% per year, which would mean that I will have collected about 93 lives by the end of my life, at which point I can use them to... oh shit, that's going to be a problem. I have to recalculate for aging and death, hang on just a mo.

Here's what I'm NOT doing with my life: I'm not trying to be as busy as possible all the time and spending all of my short life at work to earn some sort of spurious status increase that I show off by buying shiny things to display to the other drones. I want to have LOTS of personal time and SUFFICIENT income and I'm working hard on achieving that, though it really is starting to seem like all or none in this country no matter where you go and what you do.
I’m really good at
Dream analysis -- seriously, I will polish your dreams to a fine mirror sheen and show you yourself in them

Nutrition and fitness -- I decided one day to lose a lot of weight and build a lot of muscle and then just *did* and it wasn't even hard

Managing money -- I paid off $45k in student loans in 21 months so I could live debt-free

Writing of all types -- see above

Why can't there be an "I'm kind of good at" section?
The first things people usually notice about me
People tend to think I'm a 'bro.' There's something deeply disturbing to me about living in a society where it is fashionable to extol the virtue of open-mindedness even as finger-ponting and giddy laughter ensue whenever the mere surface image of yesteryear's values shows itself. I dress plainly and I lift weights. I do not have tattoos and I do not aspire to become dreadlocked. Neither are my glasses thick about the rim nor my jeans skinny about the leg. I choose function. I have spent an enormous share of my time employing extreme frugality to create an unburdened future for myself, if such a thing can be imagined in this socioeconomic context. People tend to see the outward manifestation of these choices and consequently assume for some reason that I know where to find rohypnol.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Sometimes I get upset about how rich and powerful people can't accept that they need to have less luxury in order to support a more equal and flourishing society. I get angry at their hubris and arrogance. But then something will happen to me like, for example, a piece broke on my blender recently and I had to go without smoothies for a week while I ordered a new part for it and I was like THIS IS BULLSHIT WHY DON'T I JUST MOVE TO SOMALIA
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have spent most of my free time in the last 15 years badly depressed and ruminating about why people behave selfishly in relationships and at work and politically and in most other cases and wondering if trust is ever a wise thing to have. I am idealistic to the point of completely arresting my ability to trust that the world will ever be a worthwhile place to live. I often refuse to opt for selfishness when it might be calculated to enable the acquisition of my 'piece of the pie' because I believe that this is how all people should behave, even though it makes one vulnerable.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit is that I'm really not willing to participate in life at all if it means that I have to fight for my place above others in the social ladder. This has caused me, unsurprisingly, to end up at the bottom.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
- you want to take long, fast-paced, sunny bike rides to locations in the bay that feel isolated despite being crowded in by the trimmings of a bustling metropolitan area

- you do not feel compelled to do baby talk at cats

- you do not make assessments or decisions based on astrology and can explain why astrology is an invalid system of meaning

- you can identify and absolutely abhor bullshit of all kinds

- you do not define your philosphy with any words that end in -ism, even the fashionable -isms, because you recognize that subverting your identity and your politics to a closed set of meanings based around a thought-limiting structure is the cause of rather than the solution to the problems that -isms are meant to solve

- you know what "a thought-limiting structure" means in the context above and can explain it

-you have serious and developed opinions on the inequality problem and you understand and can explain why hard work does not pay off in our current sociopoliticoeconomic system