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NoIamDoesNot

30 M Oakland, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:13pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a deep, intellectual, progressive, philosopher type. I spend a lot of time thinking and contemplating, and I have a great sense of humor, so naturally I'm drawn to satire. I'm also very political and though I almost always skew democrat, the whole feminist, social-justice layer of thinking is so over for me. It just opposes people to each other and creates divisions. THE LIGHT OF GOD'S TRUE VOICE EMANATES FROM EACH OF MY CELLS AND I WILL WIELD IT IN MY CONQUEST OF THE WICKED. I'm one of those people who has few but deep relationships. Sorry, I just don't understand having a thousand friends if you don't *really* know any of them.

I can get along with extroverts, but we usually don't find a lot of common ground. THE CHOSEN ONE'S WARNINGS HAVE BEEN IGNORED AND HIS THUNDEROUS RETURN WILL BEAR NO MERCY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN FEALTY TO AVACRICE. I'm not really into small talk.

I do weird. Weird is what I do. I don't follow trends except by accident, and I have a stone-cold perfect sense of personal taste that distinguishes me from the herd. I loved The Sopranos but I hated Breaking Bad. It's not the popularity that sells me on the content, its the content. I feel like this is a trait that is lacking in the general population. WOE TO YOU WHO HAS SEEN YOURSELF AS GREATER THAN THE SUM OF ALL THINGS, THE GREAT OMEGA, THE SOURCE FROM WHICH ALL VITALITY SPRINGS, FOR YOU WILL SUFFER AND PERISH.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I would say that I'm in a crisis, but I've never been out of a crisis. When I was 12, my crisis was learning that adults couldn't be trusted to know what was right for me and what I should do. When I was 16, it was wondering what to care about if not school, since i had decided it was all a sham anyway. at 21, it was about what was ultimately meaningful. MY AUTHORITY TO SMITE THE MALIGNERS OF SACREDNESS AND THE FOOLISH WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT THEY COULD HIDE FROM THEIR OWN MAKER IS GRANTED BY NONE LOWER THAN THE SERAPHIM THEMSELVES. at 25, it was all about how to survive in this new economy, and now I'm cobbling together an income from this and that and wondering if working is even really worth it at all. I guess you could say that what I'm doing with my life is watching what happens and nodding silently, waiting for the feeling to be right to take an opportunity.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Nutrition and fitness. I decided one day to lose a lot of weight and build a lot of muscle and then just *did*.

Dream analysis. I will polish your dreams into a mirror and show you yourself in them FOR IT IS BENEATH YOUR WAKING KNOWLEDGE THAT REST YOUR SINS, A CACHE OF LIES AND SELF-INFLICTED WOUNDS INTO YOUR VERY SPIRIT, THE FLESH OF THE HOLY.

Managing money. I paid off $45k in student loans in 21 months so I could live debt-free. Then I immediately lost my job! Ask me how that's going! Give me a job!

Wording. Wordsmanship. I word.

There is no "I'm kind of good at" section. This is unfortunate.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People usually notice that I'm fucking their shit all up pretty hard. Either that or they don't notice, which gives me an opportunity to escape. Shit all fucked up, ain't even care. Sometimes they notice years later. That is the last thing people usually notice about me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't know about any of these but my favorite inspirational quote is "fuck" because it is attributable to everyone.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
That really depends on what I am, which I haven't figured out yet. Like, do I have a soul? I might not be able to do without certain things if so.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
thinking. Then I think about that. Then I get tired and I need to eat.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I just realized that there is such a thing as Friday nights. I mean, some people actually live according to the workweek and do things on Friday nights. I am having that thing happen now where the word "Friday" has lost all it's meaning. Friday. Friday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My browsing history. To the NSA. Well, not "willing," really.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you are not an idiot

- you are an idiot but you're good enough at faking to trick me

- you are an idiot and cannot trick me but you're good enough at something interesting to make up for it

- you're an unconvincing idiot who isn't good at anything but you're willing to pay me for my time

- you are a broke moron with no personality who can't do anything interesting but you have huge tits