Protocol for Contacting the Operator
If you did not read the full profile, do it now. I’ll wait.
Thank you. If you did not compare some of our match question
answers, do it now. I’ll wait.
At this point, you should have a pretty good idea of whether we can
get along. However, I would ask you to do the
following before you write to me:
- Match me at least 80%, preferably 90% or more.
- Make at least one hundred of your match answers public.
- Demonstrate, just a little bit, in writing that you have followed
this protocol and looked at more than my pictures. (Hint: If your
opening line is to compliment my hair or my cute rat, you won’t
- Have some intention of dating, in the romantic, offline world
sense. You don’t have to be sure it will work out, but I’m afraid
I’m not on this site for platonic friends or penpals.
- Include a direct question or some other convenient handle for
further conversation. It can come completely out of left field;
it’s often more fun that way.
- Describe the best nap you ever saw, preferably by a non-human
Additional Compatibility Indicators
You’re especially encouraged to write if you meet one or more of
the following qualifications:
- You compose, perform, and/or produce music
of any style. If you understand when
I say that I’m annoyed by the inclusion of “breathing compressor”
effects in studio recordings of dance music, you really ought to
write to me. If you are also annoyed, you must
- You frequently attend live music
- You frequently play board games
, role-playing games
describe themselves as “massive”.
- Someone has called you a “hacker
” or you wish someone had. But only
if you know the difference between a “hacker” and a
- You have a prominent dark side
or are otherwise “edgy
ed girls, these I often get along
with well, though they strongly contrast with me. Various kinds of
kinky girls too, though I’m mostly vanilla myself. In particular, I
dig ladies who are pretty sure they could kick my ass if they had
to. (I don’t want you to, and I promise not to make you.)
- You are into caving
, and you would like to show a
beginner the ropes.
- You find the notion of opening a third or fourth date with a game
of strip Scrabble
to be irresistible. (And you don’t mind that you’ll lose. Because I
will beat you like a rented mule. What, you steppin’? Bring it,
- You consider yourself a connoisseur of brewed or distilled
must despise Pabst Blue Ribbon to qualify. I really try not to
reject things just
because they have hipster associations,
so I finally tried one to find out what the fuss was about. It was
just like sex on the beach: It was fucking close to water!
- You live in Queens. If you don’t, you at least have to be willing
to come to Queens sometimes
for dates. I like the
nightlife in the Bowery and the Village as much as the next guy,
but Manhattan snobs who can’t bring themselves to travel to the
other boroughs need not apply. And on the same note, if you’ve ever
used the phrase “flyover state” without irony, don’t talk to
- You are polyamorous
or otherwise have
enjoyed multiple relationships at once with mutual consent. I don’t
mind if the open relationship thing is something new you’re willing
to try, but it’s better if it’s something you’re already