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NoahJean

26 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Aug 13, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Other
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), French (Okay), Arabic (Okay), Chinese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
First, rather than saying what I want in a woman, let me tell you what I don't want:

-If you spend a good portion of the date talking about where your ex-boyfriend(s) screwed up, please don't tell me. First, I don't care. Second, you're not ready for me. And if we are going out, your ex-boyfriends will really want you back because I'll upgrade your status. A red carpet will roll out under your feet and the paparazzi will swarm you every time we go out to eat, lol (this is the first and last time that I use lol, EVER)

-I know that you think there are losers on this site that have boring profiles which all read the same. Please don't make this a point of conversation if we talk. Instead, focus on the positives, like how awesome my profile is and what you like about it. Flattery will get you everywhere.

-I'm not on here looking for a One Night Stand, so I don't appreciate being asked for pictures of my junk (as miraculous as it is) . I'm also not on here looking to get married (but I wouldn't rule it out, I'm awesome marriage material)

-I have three older sisters and they made sure I grew up knowing how to treat a lady. I can be very caring and sensitive when you need me to. But if you continually need to be saved from the problems you create in life, I'll tell you off. . .I'll bring you chocolate and fun toys when you're PMSing but eat the chocolate and play with the toys myself if you go off on me for no reason.

-I expect someone as attractive as I am. But, if you use your looks and cleavage to get guys to do what you want (and show it off in your Facebook pics), please don't message me. I like street smarts and a good heart.
FYI, personality will always trump looks in my books. If you are a nice caring person, don't be afraid to message me

-Age doesn't matter to me as much as maturity. However, if you're 18 and in your first year outside of high school, please do not message me, I don't care how mature you think you are. If I have my doubts, I will check your ID on our First Date and call your parents to come pick your ass up.

-If you are high maintenance, please do not message me. However, if you can dress like a guy and play sports before changing to a super hottie, please message me right away!

-Rest assured, I do not control women or manipulate them. I will however influence you in positive ways and probably even in naughty ones. If you want a nice guy that you don't have to work to get, there are PLENTY of other guys out there for that, just take your pick. They are not nearly as awesome as I am and you will have to work to win me over but I'm so worth it .

-If you do not like going out and trying new things, we won't mesh well. I love doing weird things like taking up salsa lessons for a few weeks and then trying to compete. If you are a lazy ass that wants to sleep in every Saturday of her life, please don't message me.

-Exercise and nutrition are very important to me. I am not a gym guy but I do lift weights, do chin up, sit ups and push-ups almost every morning. If exercising and eating right are only a New Year's resolution to you, we won't click. I bulk up for a few weeks and then shed the fat. When I am at 8% body fat, you'll want to take me to the beach to show off to your friends. I charge an arm and a leg for a picture so our trip will be paid for as well.

-I work very hard and I am very successful in my career. However, I love doing fun small things, like drop in dance classes, road trips, cottage vacations, swimming and rollerblading on lakeshore. There is nothing sexier to me then a woman who has a few coupons in her purse .

I love to travel and explore, I lived in London, Greece, Italy, Scotland, and L.A. Recently returned from 3 long months in Cancun. It sucks. Nothing there but booze, beaches, sunshine, and sex. However, I developed an affinity for Spanish. If you speak it, I will give you a 3 points upgrade on your Hotness scale. You're a 6? Now you're a 9! Not a bad deal, if you ask me.

I like everything HOT: hot dogs, hot tubs, hot peppers, Hot Wheels, walking on hot coals, hot chocolate, hot springs, anything hot off the grill or press, salsa, chilis, wasabi, the weather, whatevah. Yeah, you know EXACTLY where I'm going with this. Fire and brimstone, baby.

Can I hold an intelligent conversation? Shit, let me tell ya..

I won't go out with women who do drugs. Not unless they're really good drugs and you're willing to share. I'm kidding! Don't do drugs. YOLO!!

I can dance.

I give real hugs instead of those wimpy A-frame things people try to pass off as hugs.

If there was a cuddling championship, I would win. I fucking rule at cuddling.

I was voted most talkative in high school, but it's more like most likely to say deep interesting thought provoking shit all the time!

I seek to strike the perfect balance between discipline and hard work on one hand and partying and pursuing what Mill called lower pleasures on the other. But, it is never a balance, it's excess in moderation.

I think the fear of being strange, awkward, and weird, makes people typical, average, expected, and boring as result.

I am like a half-retarded Indiana Jones, Will Hunting, and Van Wilder rolled into one. I love adventure and travel and have done so somewhat extensively! I have lived in several great cities, from Miami to New York, have had a variety of professional (and not-so-professional) occupations, and have attended several universities. However, I come from a modest background, so I don't go for a lot of bourgeoisie BS. Cultured and worldly? Sure, Learned? More or less. Pretentious? Not so much. I'm a bad boy who's been reformed and refined (in life, not prison).

I am not afraid of commitment, and I can be a lot of fun. Essentially I am interested in friendship and fun, and if anything develops from there, then I don't necessarily object. I'll stick it out with the right one, and that may lead to amazing possibilities.

These are incredible, indelible, articulate, and compelling reasons to contact ME! so don't be afraid, I talk to random people all the time!
What I’m doing with my life
Fighting crime and cleaning the streets from miserable people, conquering the world, and entertaining the masses in the circus of life.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex