Hello, I'm a college student going to University of Maryland. As you might already know, I used to have an insane profile on here. It's one thing to be sarcastic but I took it to new heights. Ridiculous heights. I tried so hard to have an original and interesting profile that I basically sacrificed my sanity on here. Oh, it was original alright. I did succeed in that but.......whatever, I could talk all day about my old profile. I have the whole thing in a folder on my computer titled "..............ok..............." It's in the past, moving on.

I'm a graduate student at the moment. Basically I'm trying to put off having a real job for as long as I can but eventually my time will run out.

Reading people I guess. I can usually tell by facial expressions what people think of me. I used to suck at that but I've gotten better at it. I'm also good at singing in my car while giving people mean looks while I'm passing them. I then shake my head at them at stoplights. Usually, people ignore me (which is the correct thing to do in that situation) but some people give me a confused look and that makes my day. I've also become very good at trolling my own friends on Facebook. I do it in a very subtle way where most of them don't notice. I'm not talking about the usual trolling you see on websites where I insult them to try to get a reaction out of them. I hate that kind of trolling and I would NEVER do that to my friends or anyone else. It's different and I try my best to be clever about it. I'll be sure to put all of these "skills" on my resume.

I have wavy hair, I'm white. I look a little like Adam Sandler hence the username.

Books: I like non-fiction books about history. I've got a book about Henry VIII I haven't finished reading. That douche fascinates me. Not really big into fictional, fantasy-type books. Sorry, just not my thing.

Movies: I like all the same movies that you probably do like Shawshank Redemption, Tarantino films, Scorsese films, Kubrick etc. I really like comedies though. I f*cking love that movie Old School. Just an amazing, amazing, amazing movie.

Shows: Same as movies, I like Breaking Bad, Dexter, Hardcore Pawn, etc. Probably a lot of the shows that you watch. I hope this doesn't make me sound like a stalker or anything. I'm not hanging outside your window with popcorn watching your T.V. I just watch a lot of the mainstream, popular stuff that most people watch. That's what I'm trying to say.

Music: I listen to mostly rock which includes anything from the 60's to today. I also like some rap (Public Enemy, Wu-Tang Clan). I don't get into too much other stuff other than Johnny Cash.

Food: Whatever tastes good and fills me up, I don't care, moving on.

Why does this matter when you're trying to find a mate? Why six things? Why not three? Or one million things? I can't live without my private jet. Sorry, but living without my batcave is a life not worth living. I don't mean to be rude but I hate this question.

Where I'll be in ten years. Who I'll know. Normal stuff. The stuff I dream about is less normal though. Like having my former Biology teacher kidnap me and then I get yelled at her by her angry Italian husband. I don't want to dream about that. I would love to have a new brain. The scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz has it good.

I'm bored. That's why I'm on here.

My parents are insane. In fact, my whole family is. The fact that I'm not in a mental hospital due to my dysfunctional family is a testament to my mental strength.

You want somebody to talk to. You want to congratulate me for changing my profile into something that's not just up here for shock value like I'm a writer for Marilyn Manson or Lisa Lampanelli. It's up to you. As 311 once said, "I do, I don't whatever." I would love to hear from you but if not, that's fine as well. Thanks for checking out my profile.