27 College Park, MD
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My self-summary
Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm, dark humor, sarcasm.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a paper pusher. I'm the exact kind of bureaucrat that Anne Coulter and her like hates. That does fill me with joy knowing that. I plan to not be a paper pusher for that much longer though.
I’m really good at
I can play the guitar like a motherfucking riot.

I once had a job where I was playing uncalled for Hard Rock songs on my guitar to the elderly at an assisted living home. I got so tired of hearing Frank Sinatra requests that I just couldn't do it anymore. Plus, I was losing my enjoyment in playing the guitar. My life is so much better that I don't have to do that anymore.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have wavy hair (which can be a pain in the ass to style). I look a little like Adam Sandler. He's not the only actor I apparently look like but I've gotten to the point where unless someone tells me I get to go to Hollywood to be that person's body double, I don't want to hear that I look like a celebrity anymore.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Disaster Artist or anything talking about why Tommy Wiseau is the smartest idiot in the world. Also history books and just non-fiction in general.

Movies: Anything directed by Tarantino, Scorsese, P.T. Anderson and Kubrick.

Shows: Better Call Saul, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Game of Thrones.

Music: Mostly rock which includes anything from the 60's to today. Also some rap.

Food: This goes in my mouth and I chew it. I'm not picky.
The six things I could never do without
1. The internet- I don't know how I lived without it. I feel bad for my 90's self.
2. Satire- the highest form of wit
3. Sarcasm- the lowest form of wit
4. Dogs- no reason needed
5. Naps- without these, my job would have killed me by now
6. Why couldn't they have stopped at five? I never really liked the number six anyways. I usually skip it when I'm counting to ten. That also says a lot about my education growing up.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What happened to all of the people who cared about the proper use of "their, there, and they're?" I agree with you, people at this age should get it right but I don't see on profiles as much as a requirement.
On a typical Friday night I am
Ever since I moved out of bumfuck nowhere Maryland, I've been trying to explore the DC area more when I'm away from my job. I don't mind being in but I also like to see what the city life has to offer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My family should probably go on Dr. Phil to get their problems worked out. You know what, he's probably as messed up as they are. Never mind.
You should message me if
you don't take most things seriously