Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


36 New York, NY Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22-36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 5:56am
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Average build
Might want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The most exciting thing that happened to me this week is my passport was stolen. I got an extra day of vacation in Brazil!

Strike that, that was 2 weeks ago now. The most exciting thing that happened to me _this_ week was a ukelele concert I went to. You ever see a guy sportin 5" heels, eyeliner, & a Sinead O'Connor 'do playing the ukelele and singing falsetto? No? Well, if you want to, he's also here somewhere on OkCupid - he sang a song about it.

Strike that, time marches on. The most exciting thing that happened to me this week was making a Muppet out of paper mache. Also there was the incident with the witch doctor and the bridge of star ship Enterprise (no, I'm not kidding).

TMETTHTMTW was falling off a 14' wall. In blacklight. With the DJs spinning, spinning. (Don't worry, my fall was well cushioned - this was indoor nighttime blacklight rockout rock climbing - everyone falls at some point.)

TMETTHTMTW was finding out my boss from the first job I ever had (a) is 20 years older than I figured and (b) actually, literally worked on the Manhattan Project. Oh, I also found a 4-leaf and 5-leaf clover within 10 minutes, but that's not as exciting because (a) I'm pretty good at finding those anyway, (b) I still lost the game of frisbee golf, and (c) the Manhattan Project, for crying out loud!

TMETTHTMTW is harder to pick. I want to say it was watching those people jump double-dutch through the ropes of fire (which was amazing - if you want to see for yourself, just ask and I'll send you the video), but that was before the Parkour lesson. I swear I felt like Super Mario, speed jumping across mushrooms, vaulting over parapets, backflipping off a trampoline into a ball pit....

TMETTHTMTW is I finally completed my move to the UWS. I like my new place a lot! (Also, this is my lame excuse for not being on top of OkCupid lately - sorry if my replies are delayed.)

TMETTHTMTW is a Law & Order celebrity tried to steal my date away from me. I won!

TMETTHTMTW is I touched Julia Louis-Dreyfus' boob. My bucket list is getting shorter.

Oh, self-summary, right. Let me use a quote from the trip to Brazil, then: "Dude, just looking at you makes me laugh!". That's about right.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Born with the incredible super power of hypersonic motormouth (it's a long story, available in trade paperback), I've decided to use it for evil.

Hey, don't look at me like that!

I'm a salesman. If it makes you feel better, I make corporate fatcats slightly less fat. Well, ok, and other, different fatcats slightly fatter.

Seriously. Quit it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving good IM. Snapping with my right hand. Sleeping with distractions (hello, Distractions!). Making people laugh (if I'm not making you laugh, obviously you're not people). Snobby vocabulary and use of the semicolon. Cheesy magic tricks. Nicknaming. Not getting hung over. Talking. Talking too much. Talking way too much.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I am unusually tall for an 8-year-old. Let's just say that if you're into boyish charm, I've got you covered.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I grew up reading a book or two a week, and I still love to read, but ever since the internet arrived my attention span has
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Honestly? 1st, 2nd, and 3rd generation quarks, and to a lesser degree 1st, 2nd, and 3rd generation leptons.

Haha, just kidding. I fucking hate tau neutrinos.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.

Ok, honestly, while I think about you a lot, recently I've also been thinking about what style of glasses to get (the dr says the only reason I get through daily life is I'm "unusually good at interpreting blur"). Suggestions? Rimless? Hipster? Drew Carey?

UPDATE: I went with Clark Kent.

My company gave me an all-expenses-paid trip for two to a fancy resort this spring. I've counted myself a zillion times, and I'm only one. So recently, I've been thinking about where to find the other one, to make two.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The life of the party. In my head. Which is slightly tipsy. And at a party.

(Legal disclaimer: I punk out of a lot of party invites. But only because I'm a punk like that.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm an obligate putterer. If you see me sitting still for more than 5 minutes, please check my pulse, because I'm probably dead.

Oh, and I have a leather bag full of small change in my apt that makes me look like a bank robber from the 50s. Or that my grandfather was. If you help me roll it up, I'll buy you an ice cream.

Oh, right, and one you'll probably care about. I have a memory like a sieve. On our first date, you'll think I'm awesome. On our second, you'll think I'm a jerk, because I'll have forgotten everything you said on the first date. Or maybe you'll still think I'm awesome. Let's find out!

Oh, and I want to fall in love. I know men aren't supposed to say that out loud, but you know us bad-boy rebel types. Just can't play by the rules.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you like my profile, go for it! I might not find you otherwise (it's summer, and I'm really having trouble finding time to surf for matches!). Plus, you'll stand out: a woman who takes the initiative is very appealing.

But, if you're wondering what I think makes for a good match, then....

If you've ever been called "a real live one!". Or if you know how to plan vacations. Or if you're petite. Or if you can walk fast. Or if you've never met a real, live born-and-bred New Yorker. Or if you have a killer smile. Or if you speak Pig Latin. Of if you rise to the occasion. Or, in your photos, you look happy. Or, in your life, you are happy. Or if you know a good joke. Or if you want to hear a good joke (it's a knock-knock joke: you start.) Or if you understand that any profile pictures of you in sunglasses don't count.

Or forget about all that and just message me. Did I mention I like to talk?

PS: It may take me a couple days to respond; that doesn't
mean you're not awesome, it means you're so awesome I want to think about what to say to you.

PPS: If I'm not your style, maybe you'd like one of my (real-life) friends: whiskey-jack (intellectual), MustHavePassport (adventurous), HowitzerNYC (intense), JoshInBrooklyn (creative), Chris6_5 (paronomasiac), 42km (spirited). (Or maybe I am your style, and you want to judge me by the company I keep. Either way, check 'em out.)