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45 M Westlake Village, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:49am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly vegan
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Profile edited May 2014:

I apologize for the lack of a good photo. As a polyamorous married professional with children, I prefer not to be recognized here by those who would think less of my wife and I for opening up after many years of monogamy. I am comfortable sharing photos after some initial email/conversation.

I am married to katthing. We recently celebrated our 20th anniversary (we started young) by opening up what had been a monogamous marriage to new experiences and relationships.

I am here to meet people and explore connections. I am interested in meeting a woman who shares my kinky interests.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My weekdays are largely focused on my career. I travel frequently during the week and truly enjoy what I do, which I am happy to discuss in person.

As a husband and father I am committed to my family and enjoy my time with them (having children has taught me to value time as it passes quickly.)

Up until a few years ago there wasn't much to me beyond these roles as husband, father, and employee. This changed due to some extensive personal growth which brought me in touch with my needs and desires and helped me overcome the shame I associated with much of it. As a result, I fully opened up to my wife about all the things I had worked to repress for so long.

I am fortunate to have a wonderful wife who has chosen to go on this journey with me; after spending our 20's having kids, we have now regained some of our independence and are rebuilding a social life.

So what am I doing with my life? I am living it. I am continuing this journey of growth. I am working on being less introverted and seeking out how to live more in the moment. I am pushing myself out of what had ben my comfort zone and learning to say the scary things and ask for what I want. I am challenging myself, I am making friends and connecting at a meaningful level. I am exploring new sexual experiences and living out long held fantasies. I am enjoying myself.

My interest in sexuality goes beyond pleasure; I am a 'sex geek' with an interest in all things related to sex, sexuality and relationships. Having regrettably had such a limited understanding of sexuality, I am now interested in learning more and helping others through my knowledge and experiences. I am especially interested in reaching married people repressing their true desires and are afraid to open up to their spouses which has led to my becoming active in sex-positive community and attending conferences on sexuality.

I have also become active in local kink/BDSM community (fetlife profile available) and am enjoying the friends I have made and the experiences I have shared. I consider myself a switch who has had some wonderful opportunities to explore my toppy side, and is now hoping to bring out that submissive side, long fantasized and not little explored.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Puzzles, challenges, problem solving, and (as an INTJ) I excel at over-analyzing myself.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If we have spoken, it is probably my honesty and passion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food - Indian, Ethiopian, Thai, Middle-Eastern. I am a vegan, and have been a vegan or vegetarian for many years though I am not one to evangelize, call attention to it, or for it to be an inconvenience.

Music - I have a background in music and my tastes are all over the place, from rock to rap, jazz to... about anything other than popular country. My favorites are still Radiohead and Wilco, electronic trancey/chill music and bands that put me into a good place like The XX.

Movies - Also a wide range of interests from independent and foreign films, to documentaries, to many of the more popular genres. As far as a favorite film, would have to with the Big Lebowski which people tend to love or hate.

Books - I read mostly non-fiction but it's the works of fiction that tend to stay with me. I enjoy Malcolm Gladwell, Neal Stephenson, Michael Chabon, and read all of Kurt Vonnegut. Lately I have not been reading as many books (though I haven't slowed down on buying them) as I am seemingly trying to make my way through the entire internet (or at least it seems that way.) I have been reading a lot on sexuality (I mentioned being a sex geek) which includes Sex at Dawn, The Ethical Slut, Opening Up, Ecstasy is Necessary, Bonk... the list does go on.

TV Shows - mostly cable drams like Game of Thrones, Mad Men, Masters of Sex, Breaking Bad, True Blood. I watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report near daily. I can watch Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks, Firefly and Archer again and again.

I travel often and listen to a lot of podcasts. I enjoy storytelling like Risk, This American Life (big Ira Glass fan), The Moth, Radiolab, and sexuality podcasts like Savage Love, In Bed With Susie Bright, and a number of sex-positive podcasts which were critical to me accepting myself and having the courage to share it with my wife. Podcasts have been a great tool to learn more about the world around me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Assuming my physiological and safety needs are met;
- Family
- Friends and community
- Creativity
- Technology and an internet connection
- Love and sex
- Opportunities to learn and explore
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sex. I think about a lot of other things, but sex is definitely one of the major ones as years of what was fantasy is now possibility.

This doesn't mean that I am only looking for sex, but in looking for friends it is nice to be with people who are comfortable with sexuality as a topic as it is fascinating and once it is a topic of honest conversation you can cut through the small talk and talk about near anything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
There is no typical.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, I have shared that I am bi, kinky, and ethically non-monogamous... Beyond that, I pride myself on being open and honest, ask me and I will likely answer.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 30–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
As friends... We share a high match percentage or you believe we have something in common and would enjoy each others company.

As more... You are interested in me and open to a married man in a non-monogamous relationship.