Hi! you're probably here as a result of me
stalking your profile / sending you a message / the monochrome
photo standing out in a crowd gimmick actually worked / you're
drunk / and, or totally bored an... whoa, whoaaaaa, where you
going? Oh pictures. Okay I'll wait.
*hums a Robin Thicke song while waiting: hmm hmm Hmmm mm mmmm Mmm,
Hmmm Mmm Mmm mmmmmmmmmmm*
Oh look! 10% of you are back! Lovely, okay I'm going to try and
keep this impressive by RANDOM CAPS and an absurd amount of
"Here is a House that armours a man
With the eyes of a boy and the heart of a ranger,
And a laughing way in the teeth of the world
And a holy hunger and thirst for danger"
What I’m doing with my life
Things. Things with paper.
I’m really good at
“A man who gives a good account of himself is
probably lying, since any life when viewed from the inside is
simply a series of defeats.” - Orwell
Walking. Keep to the right, people! The Walking police are here. I
will run you over!
The first things people usually notice about me
Sociable, sarcastic, and sensible with slight skew in sad, somber,
sensational, and sometimes, soporific states. Savvy?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
It seems upon a further look and constant suggestion, that I should
have more than one example of each category. So, without further
hesitation, I shall join the masses at listing relevancies and
dropping names even if they only exist in our ideals and not our
Book: Angler, by Barton Gellman. The Way of The World, The Selfish
Gene, Seven Pillars of Wisdom, The Social Contract, Our Unfree
Press, A Long Way Gone, Rubicon, Persian Fire, Millenium, Pandora's
Seed, How We Decide, Truth and Consequence, and, and, and...
Movie: Kingdom of Heaven. Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.
LOTR. The sunset limited. Despicable me. Santoori. City of God.
Religilous. Anything by George Carlin. And, and, and...
Music: Soundtracks, though my taste is vast yet ridiculously picky.
Other genres include good electronica, ambient, classical, gothic
neo-classical. Soundtracks. Persian. World. Soundtracks.
Food: All! I am from one the most open minded people you'll ever
meet when it comes to dining. Although my favorite meal to eat out
Are you happy now?!
The six things I could never do without
Clean water, Variable foods, Challenging texts, Discoverable
environment, Warmth of the setting sun, and the beach.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
On a typical Friday night I am
Writing sarcastic remarks on online dating profiles.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Look: I am so clever by pointing out the fact that admitting
something private renders it no longer private.
Bow before my intellect.
You should message me if
...you've read this far I applaud you. In fact I will take you out
for a glass of wine / beer / scotch / coffee / exotic north
American pineapple! Unless you drink merlot / "white" ales / red
label / folgers. In that case I will abruptly leave! ...unless
you're nice. :)
If I really like you, I'll watch the Sunset Limited with you. You
might even get cuddles.
... some people say my profile comes off sounding conceited. What
do they know, right? ...right?!
Merlot update (yes, really): I've been (forcefully) drinking some;
and, by ever-increasing pressure and moral demand I must concede:
it is not the juice of the devil.
Damn you, Vinyards.