If you're a man under 35, or if you want to have a relationship with just me, or if you're not ridiculously intelligent, highly educated, and atheist/agnostic, or if you're looking to cheat on your current partner, please don't message me. Otherwise, forge ahead, intrepid reader!
So here's an introduction that has, shall we say, a dearth of gravitas. I have two kids, three cats, and 19 piercings (all but one in my ears). I’ve been riding horses all my life. I'm bisexual, but most of my relationships have been with men. I'm a consummate intellectual, but also a consummate goof. For example, I can speak eight languages.....if by "speak" you mean "swear in". I grew up with upper-crust-y parents, but I've reverted towards the mean. I wish I lived in the city, but the public schools just don't cut it. I'm into self-examination. You know, emotional/philosophical self-examination, not physical...not that there's anything wrong with that. It bugs me when drivers yield their right of way to me to try to be nice, because it's safer to do what other drivers expect. I used to be a tomboy, and I still wield a mean power drill, but I clean up good. I eat very little meat. I am a former doctoral candidate in psycholinguistics, the study of the human faculty for language. I’m a big animal lover. I am NOT a morning person. I’m staunchly atheist, staunchly liberal, and staunchly pacifist. If you're not atheist or Buddhist or irreligious, it's probably best if you're at least agnostic, or lapsed, or at least disillusioned. I like falling asleep in a thunderstorm. I’m nerdy in the sense of loving science and learning. I carry bugs outside instead of killing them. I have perfect pitch. Wait, no I don’t. But I am musical, pedagogical, low-calorie, and fade-resistant. I actually like math, and I actually go to the opera. Like kind of a lot. I've definitely struggled with my share of adversity. I own fetishwear. I’m an ex-gymnast, a birdwatcher, a good secret-keeper, a bad liar, an occasional smartass. I'm naked under my clothes. I refold newspapers and umbrellas when I'm done with them. I think Jon Stewart, Ricky Gervais, and Margaret Cho are all hysterical, and I would do any of them. Wait, did I just say that out loud? I'll work on the formatting of a Word document for hours to get it juuuuust right. I love Britcoms, and science and nature documentaries. I have an unusual attunement to nuances of gesture and inflection, a steady drizzle of dry humor, a strong maternal instinct, graduate degrees in computer science and psychology, and a slight obsession with etymologies. Where by "slight" I mean "way, way more than slight".
Ways to make me dig you:
Be smart. Really, really smart.
Answer my questions thoughtfully, and be in the habit of introspecting.
Be interested in how people work.
Be amazed at the natural world.
Be interested in learning new things of alllll sorts.
Be comfortable with who you are, so that you neither need to flaunt it nor justify it.
Things other people sometimes do (not you, surely, dear reader) that underwhelm me:
Talk incessantly about themselves.
Think more about how they appear to people than about who they really are.
Proposition me when we barely know each other.
Be set in their ways.
Further bulletins as events warrant! And I’m pretty sure events will warrant!
Further bulletin #1: BOTH my thumbs are opposable!
Further bulletin #2: There used to be Further Bulletins up to #5, but really, they were boring.
.....And we're walking! We're walking!