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OMGahoneybadger

27 Brussels, Belgium Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–27
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:47pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Norwegian (Poorly), Dutch (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Born out of the womb of a virgin, I saw the light the second of march, 1988. I don't remember a lot about my childhood.
I know that my mother laced my milk with the venom of the black mamba. They also said that I tussled with alligators and fought bears with my bare hands when I was 3years old. I don't know if these stories are true. They could be true though, since i haven't seen any bears nor alligators in the Belgian woods or rivers lately.

I look spectacular. That goes without saying. The only thing more incredible than my looks, must be my natural odor, which is a combination of the smell of puppies, the kitchen on christmas eve and cherrywood.

Because I am so ridiculously good looking, there are a lot of myths going on about me. Some myths I will now debunk;

Myth 1: I named my penis Georgio Papadopulos. False! I do not have a name for my penis other than Mr. Hammerstone. He's a real epicurean all the way!

Myth 2: I was bestowed to the earth by the gods. Hmm, this one is hard to dispel. It would take a god like Apollo or Jupiter, or, worst case scenario, Wodan to make such a gift. And I have called on these gods more than once and they never told me specifically that I was put on earth by them. So I have to go with no, the myth is false.

Myth 3: My birth was the main cause of the demolition of the Berlin Wall. That story is actually true. But I would hardly call that a myth.

Myth 4: Each strand of my hair carries the DNA to not only clone a person that makes George Clooney look like a garbage bag of an abattoir on a sunny day, it also carries the DNA to cure AIDS. This rumor is false! The universities of Brussels, Harvard and Oxford who studied my hair strands for a long time have detected the DNA for the cure of multiple deadly diseases. AIDS wasn't one of them.

Myth 5: My hair is insured by ING insurances for 3000€.
False! it's KBC Bank & Insurances and it's 4500€, thank you very much.

Myth 6: My smile was the official stand-in for Brad Pitt's smile in the movie Meet Joe Black. Wrong! My smile was definitely up for the part, but James Franco's smile got the gig eventually and he did an awesome job.

Glad I've been able to debunk these myths.

In my present life I wade across the rooftops of Brussels, dressed in long tights and a latex mask to prevent and solve crimes.

that's 130% true
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
wading across rooftops, waging a one-man war against the forces of evil, saving the world from time to time.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Absurd humour.
being a nice person.
Also in being a man.
As far back as I can remember, my dad has been teaching me lessons about decency and manhood.
which includes, but not limited to, knowing how to pee standing up. One of the first things I can recall is him standing next to me to pee, showing me how to hit the porcelain bowl above the water, so you don’t make a lot of noise to upset the ladies, but below the rim, so you don’t splatter outside of the targeted area. You know these hand-painted signs in the bathroom: IF YOU SPRINKLE WHEN YOU TINKLE, BE SWEET AND WIPE THE SEAT? As a child, I always felt bad for anyone who would be so crude as to need that advice. They clearly didn’t have as kick-ass of a dad as me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My crisp voice. It's like the sound of a newspaper that you open in the morning. Or the first steps into fresh snow.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:
Fear and loathing Las Vegas. (Hunter S. Thompson)
Love in the time of cholera. (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
1984 (George Orwell)
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time (Mark Haddon)
The hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
Animal Farm (George Orwell)
the unbearable lightness of being. (Milan Kundera)
Through The Looking Glass (and what Alice found there) - Lewis Carrol
The God Delusion (Richard Dawkins)
De vrolijke Atheïst - Jean Paul Van Bendegem
Tiny Rookt Crack (Gilbert Delahaye)
...

Movies:
The Godfather
The Shawshank Redemption
Django Unchained
Lock, Stock & two smoking barrels
Snatch
Biutiful
The Dreamers
Last Days
Lucky number Slevin (I fell in love with Lucy Liu)
500 days of summer
American Psycho
Fight Club
V for Vendetta
Monty python
Inglorious Bastards
Pulp Fiction.
Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulin
Inception
Little miss sunshine
Religulous
...

Let's make this easier: If it's a Christopher Nolan movie: I'm most likely a fan. Same goes for Tarantino, Scorsese, Guy Ritchie, Kubrick, and not all, but a lot of the Coppola-movies (both Francis Ford and Sofia)
Ow, and the speech from "the great dictator" from Charlie Chaplin. That actually got me.

Shows:
The Wire (!!!)
Sherlock (!!!)
The Shield
The Office (UK version)
Coupling (UK version)
Breaking Bad
Extras
Green Wing
EastBound & Down (Kenny Fucking Powers ftw!)
Basta
Boardwalk Empire
Game Of Thrones
...
Craig Ferguson, Jim Jefferies, Ricky Gervais

Music:
Editors, Arctic Monkeys, Band Of Horses, Kapitan Korsakov, Raketkanon, Brutus, The XX, Daughter, Kings of convenience, Tom Waits, Bart Peeters, The Radios, MGMT, New Empire, The Black Lips, The Knife, Local Natives, The Thermals, The Shins, Perfume Genius, The National, Andrew Bird, Great Lake Swimmers, Grizzly Bear, King Charles, Givers, Ariana Delawari, Fleet Foxes, Iron & Wine, Alexander, Edward Sharpe & the magnetic zeros, Elliott Smith, Eels, The Smiths, Nick Cave, Stan Lee Cole,
The Libertines, The Babyshambles, Pink Floyd, Bon Iver, The Beatles (d'uh!), RHCP
Nirvana, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Velvet Underground
Regina Spektor, The Staves, Elvis Costello, The tallest man on Earth, Keaton Henson, Benjamin Francis Leftwich, The Jungle Giants, Beethoven, Beethoven, Beethoven, Prokofiev, Gorecki, Satie, ...
Ow, and let's not forget soul: Wendy Rene, Ruby Johnson, Carla Thomas, The Mad Lads, Jeanne & The Darlings,...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Oxygen --> (haha, so witty, because you really need that!)
Water --> (haha, again, witty!)
Food --> (seriously, I should stop being so witty!)
Friends
Music --> (What do you mean, cliché?)
Sex --> (Look what a daredevil I am, putting the word sex on my profile!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If the bible was right, and Adam & Eve were the only people on earth, and they had two kids: Abel & Caan...how did they procreate? The only woman on earth is still Eve. So they had to have sex with their own mother. That's pretty gross, isn't it?

Also:
Was the guy who proofread Adolf Hitler's speeches, really a grammar nazi?

And, if you think about it, we're all 50% centaur and/or mermaids.

And the voice in my head, did it mature with me? Or did that voice always sounded like this?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
having a chess game with the Emperor of the Galaxy
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably the tale which is known in my memoirs as "the night I made love to Chuck Norris". I don't want to go too much into detail, but it was basically two heterosexual men, on the top of their game, having a drink in the bar and before we both knew it we were sitting in satin robes, smoking a cigarette. And I normally don't even smoke. I only remember lightning quick moves. Hands and feet were all over the place. It was like wrestling with three hairy wolves. Was there tenderness? Of course there was! Was it sexually gratifying? Yes! Did fingers find their way in places reserved for baser functions. You bet! But, and I can't stress this enough, all of this happened in the fraternal spirit of male bonding.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find me!