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34 F Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:56am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Very often
Graduated from university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has cats
English, Russian (Poorly), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I don't have a very clear self-summary anymore. In previous years it would have been very simple-- writer, or metalsmith, or Linguistics student, or aspiring musician, or... But right now, it's all in transition. Well, all right, not all of it. It's just that the constants sound silly when I say them. I shall do it anyway.

I'm very intelligent. I have a dry sense of humour, intermingled with a lot of "that's what she said" jokes. I drink more than I probably should. I'm in the middle of a divorce, which is going quite amicably but still leaves me somewhat at sea. (I initiated.) I have a lot of snakes-- six corns, one Chinese green snake, four carpet pythons, two Tanimbar pythons, and a royal python, for those to whom that means anything. I stopped fighting the fact that I am a goth some years ago, because if they keep telling you that, who are you to argue? I do wear a lot of black and make corsets. But these days my black is more likely to be the little-black-dress sort, though it always comes along with brightly coloured hair.

I Make Things. Over the years these things have included stories, drawings, silver jewelry and larger objects, corsets, other clothing, music... And there was the one regrettable class the first time I went to college for which I had to do a piece of Performance Art. But we don't talk about that. Mainly because it's not all that interesting.

I've lived in six states and 2 countries. I only dance when I'm very drunk. But goddamn, do I sing a mean karaoke.

I also have cool hair.
What I’m doing with my life
Frankly, figuring it out. Leaving a six-year marriage with a shiny newfound sex drive and the need, now that I am no longer following around The Man With The Career (TM), to figure out what exactly I want to do now that I'm in charge. I'm in a bit of a transitional phase right now. And I need some entertainment.

Snakes are a constant. I do a lot with reptiles. In recent years I've been heavily involved with reptile rescue and reptile societies on both sides of the Atlantic. So if you're afraid of snakes, maybe don't give me a call, eh?
I’m really good at
Dressing for slightly more than the occasion. Holding my liquor. Snakes. Making corsets. Silversmithing. Reading. Writing. Proofreading. Learning languages. Keeping other people's secrets. Listening to others and figuring out much more than they intend to reveal. Gallows humor. Swearing. And I have pretty good creepdar.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably the hair. Red, blue, or purple, in an asymmetrical angled bob. It's pretty eye-catching. The Little Black Dress thing may come next. After that, I imagine it goes one of two ways. Either it's the fact that I am articulate, clever, and sarcastic; or it's the legs and the ass. They say, after all, that there are two kinds of people in this world...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Middlesex and The Virgin Suicides, Jeffrey Eugenides. The Secret History, Donna Tartt. Geek Love, Katherine Dunn. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov. Nonfiction about plagues and suchlike.

Movies: Schizopolis. Heathers. The Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright stuff.

TV is entirely older stuff, mostly British. The Young Ones, Blackadder, Spaced... I guess I did like Firefly well enough. I just don't watch much. I fuck around on the internet instead. A friend recently showed me Archer. So that's the newer TV show I like.

Music: They Might Be Giants, Firewater, Leonard Cohen, The Sisters of Mercy, Tom Waits, Moxy Fruvous, Tomahawk, Mr. Bungle, Faith No More...

Food: eh, tasty things that other people put in front of me are nice. I do not think about food too much.

Booze: bourbon and rye; cask ales served at cellar temperature; actual dry ciders; shiraz; anything someone hands me short of whipped cream flavoured vodka. Which, if you hand it to me, I will probably also drink, but it will make me think ill of you.
The six things I could never do without
There are, of course, more than six. But I'll try to distill it.

The internet.

My friends.

My pets-- cats and snakes (and one crested gecko).

Pretty things surrounding me.

My coping mechanisms-- cigarettes, alcohol, escapist fiction.

My sense of humour. It goes poorly when I lose that for a bit.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Sex. Love. What the hell I am going to do with my life now that it is my own again. Music, both consuming and creating. Snakes. Designing corsets, other clothing, and silver jewelry and objects. Playing dress-up.
On a typical Friday night I am
There is no typical Friday night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Heavens, what's the most private thing there is? I'm pretty transparent, as long as it's my secret and not someone else's.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 35–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
First, you have to be socially liberal. No misogynists, homophobes, or racists need apply. Second, you have to be okay with my vices: I drink like a chimney and I smoke like a fish, and I am completely uninterested in being lectured about these things. Third, you have to have a sense of humour. We will get nowhere otherwise. Fourth, NO FACIAL HAIR. It's not that I don't love you, guys with facial hair. It's that I only love you platonically. And fifth (heavens, I'm picky, aren't I?), I don't date younger men. It's just a Thing. I expect one day I will, but we have not yet reached that day.

Beyond that, my preferences are for skinny guys with big noses and little body hair. Silver or dark hair is good. I like men who are more dominant in bed. I like men who like sex. I don't have children, and I have been sterilized to prevent me having any. And I'm usually not into bald or shaved-headed guys. Exceptions, however, have been made on most accounts. Though not the beard thing.

Let's go all the way with preferences. I prefer an average-sized penis, or maybe slightly below-- they're more versatile. There are multiple holes, and mine are generally not cavernous. But it's nice when all of them can be involved.

All that said, chemistry is an unpredictable thing. I don't know exactly what I'd be attracted to. I have a Type, but I have certainly gone outside it, and sometimes the people outside it give very good head. Odds are most of the people who message me won't even have read this profile, from what I hear. So if you have, and you don't fit the above, and you're still interested, do stop by and say hello.

Well thank heavens that bit is done.