In 1991, I had a boyfriend that had been murdered and he was one of the biggest Black Sabbath and OZZY fans that I know even to this day. It seemed fitting that I would go on this tour 10 years later. I do not necessarily cling to a higher power in my day to day life. I had lost everyone that I love and this seemed to be like divine intervention.
Day 2, we were in Apple Valley, Wisconsin. I was back in catering with some of the cast of characters that were on this tour. What happens here stays here sort of stuff I was seeing going on daily! Well, I was sitting there eating my food and all of the sudden OZZY comes out with a jump rope and begins to jump rope at my table. I look at the members of PaPa Roach and say, "Where else can ya go that you can have a RockStar come out and jump rope at your table while your eating???"
I made it all the way across the country with this festival. I have some crazy stories for sure. I went to Denver to the Mile High Stadium with the tour. Keep in mind that this was Manson's first time back since Columbine. I stayed in the same hotel as OTEP in Denver. I got to meet Michael Moore even though I had no idea that he was coming to meet Manson. I sat in catering and ate with him. I almost lost it when I saw his documentary and realized I had saw a major part of the history of Music happening that day.
When we left Denver we were headed to one of my most favorite venues of all time. The Gorge @ George! It was an amazing sight. It was almost like the Grand Canyon if it had a Concert Venue at the top of it. I remember seeing MudVayne's Greg Tribbett fishing. In the backstage area you could rent a fishing pole. I could see he was being one with nature so I left him alone, but he was very quiet most of the time. I bonded with the guys from MudVayne the most though because like me they were from Central Illinois.
My life is like a puzzle piece and I have been just trying to fit in some place. Most the time I find that people really like my company while others seem afraid because they have yet to experience life in any fashion. I find most people walk around on egg shells not knowing who they really are inside. I am so relieved to say that I have lived my life the way I was destined to.
Well, if you want to hear anymore about me or my life; I have all the time in the world. If you would have told me that in this life I would have seen so much and lived this much I never would have believed it. It seems like everyone that touches my life is meant to be in it. I live positively.
When I came to Los Angeles; I came here to break away. I came back because the city of Angels and Demons called me! I had tried to be here once before in the 90's, but I had a daughter in Illinois and I went back there and stayed there a lot of the time until she turned 18.
The first time I came to Los Angeles I was running away, but even the tabloid talk shows were able to locate me.
In the 90's I stole a car and drove across the country with a manic depressive, a bank robber from Detroit, and a guy that thought he was a Vampire. The two CD's that were spinning for this trip was Pantera- Far Beyond Driven and Type O Negative- Bloody Kisses. It was like Natural Born Killers without the killing. That was how I was introduced to Heavy Metal music that I never had a clue about. It was a honor to see Phil Anselmo at the Revolver Golden Gods this year.
As I have grown older and matured, the irresponsible person is no longer here. I learned so much from the way I lived. People back in Illinois often ask me to come home. I really do not see myself going back. There is simply to much pain and disappointment there. I rarely talk about it because it no longer is here. You can hear the pain in my voice when I attempt to discuss it. High School was Hell for me. When I went to college I made it on the Deans list 4 times. I did that for my grandmother. She always told me I was destined for greatness but I never took it seriously. When I came to Los Angeles, I left behind years of accumulation and started over. I did not tell my own father I was leaving. It was hard to keep it to myself. I have never had a issue with keeping secrets though. Not telling dad goodbye involved a lot of tears on the train on the way. I knew there was a likelihood I would never see any of my family again.
If I actually ever could predict the future a year ago, I never would of guessed that I would have so many friends here supporting my thoughts and my ideas. They say home is where ya hang your heart. Well, and Los Ageles is my home! Everyday that I wake up I can not wait for the next day to follow. I have been single by choice though. Some days I think I am waiting for Mr. Right because he has always been Mr. Wrong. I have been single for nearly 2 years. My grandmother was alone for 20 years after my grandfather died, but at least she had me. When I went away to college is when she died and it broke my heart. She used to try to tell me that I would find a good guy in church. I laugh at that! I went to church with her and I always thought that the place was going to burst in flames cause I was there. Hahaha! But church is not my place to find peace. It is music that soothes the savage beast in me. I am deeply touched by it and always have been. My dad played music for me at a very early age. The last thing my parents ever bought me was a saxophone before they split up. It became my escape and music was my savior. I am traumatized by all the death in music today. Last year on my birthday I went to Ronnie James Dio's grave.
There is a person inside me that most people never see, but when I am happy the world is happy too. I want to make a difference in other people's lives. I am not a miracle worker but if I can make a person think and see that their are ways to live and be happy as well as healthy; I am on the right track to a better future! There is always more but never less. I will not live by going in reverse. The past is meant to be learned from to better the future. If you live in the past you have no future! It is like trying to swim with weights taped onto your legs. Thank you for your time!!!!