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39 Schaumburg, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 29-45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 12:29pm
Relationship Type
6' 4" (1.93m)
Body Type
Average build
Atheism and laughing about it
High school
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
* Last Updated 8.10.2015 : The Black Update *

Last night I had the strangest dream; saw everybody running in the streets, leapfrogging salmon trying to get upstream. The dream was over but I could not sleep. I had to put on the light when she said that...

It's been some time (3 years?) since my last update. I've been rather busy hanging out with all the great people I met here. A curious medium, this, whose very success ensures its obsolescence.

I'm really going to try hard to keep this one concise. Or at least conciser. Is that a word?

First things first, if you smoke, litter, subscribe to any stripe of magical thinking*, or think money is more important than people, then we will not get along. Likewise if you practice vindictiveness, jealousy, or if you are manipulative or prone to melodrama, please move on. Been there, got the t-shirt, soaked it in kerosene and lit it on fire.
*(magical thinking is the belief that you can change the world with your thoughts. For most of you, I'm referring to religion.)

As a general rule, I'm not particularly attracted to heavy makeup, cosmetic surgery, high heels, or any of the traditional measures of socially mandated "beauty". These are all fine things, I'm not judging, they are just not things I care about. Obviously, you should wear whatever makes you feel good, for whatever reasons seem best to you. I find most piercings, tats, and impossible hair colors groovy, but they are not in any way a requirement. I tend to like curves, but honestly it's less about what one has and more about how one carries it, whether one is slender as a willow or just stepped out of a Renoir or Rubens. And once someone opens their mouth, it doesn't matter how physically interesting they may be if they're vapid, self deluded, irritating or soporific. Looks are what attract us initially, but personality is what makes for lasting connections. That said, I've learned that getting to know people takes time, and that first impressions aren't always right. "Sparks" or "chemistry" are mostly hormonal functions, which are useful in their way, but not to be trusted unreservedly.

With me, a sense of humor is a must, because I am frequently silly, irreverent, and/or ridiculous. If you can't laugh at yourself, or at the intrinsic wackiness and stupidity of the world, then I will probably annoy you. I may do that anyway, to be perfectly honest. You know what they say, everyone should do what they do best.

I have many interests, both abiding and ephemeral. I enjoy and consume all the same multifarious forms of media as everyone else, and just like them, I have probably included some sort of list a bit further down the page, so keep an eye out for that, ok? I enjoy the company of friends, except when I am feeling misanthropic. I sometimes organize fun outings for various sized groups of friends and acquaintances; and sometimes I don't. I enjoy games of many kinds, although I rarely win any of them. I've even tried my hand at designing games of my own, although so far none of them has made me independently wealthy.

I've been known to correct people's spelling and grammar from time to time. I don't really understand why this annoys some people. If I misspell something, or use poor grammar, please tell me so that I do not continue to sound illiterate. Of course, I also have a tendency to neologize, but that's a different thing altogether.

There, I think I've condensed that section pretty thoroughly. If there's anything you feel I have not adequately covered, I'm open to suggestions. Likewise, questions are welcome. You can only really get to know someone by getting to know them.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Last night I had the strangest dream; the sky was dark and I could not see. Felt underwater when I tried to scream. When I heard the rooster, I was finally free. I was a little bit frightened when he said that...

I have a job that I mostly enjoy. It doesn't pay fantastically, but I've learned that no amount of money is worth being miserable at work. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in my mouth, and most importantly I don't owe anybody anything.

When I'm not working, I spend too much time online. I have an assortment of consoles from the classic to the last-gen (PS3). I enjoy various forms of gaming with my friends (video, board, tabletop, card, live action, etc). I don't have television but I do have Netflix, and I sometimes watch a lot of stuff, and sometimes I don't watch anything for long periods.

When I get out of the house, I like to take in open mics or burlesque shows, or whatever cultural event a friend is participating in. I'm an organizer for the Chicago Pillow Fight Club, which hosts International Pillow Fight Day and Chicago Water Wars. I attend GenCon and Forge Midwest and sometimes other nerdy conventions if I have time and money to spare. I'm not as outdoorsy as I used to be, since I work outside all day, but I do like to go biking, or GeoCaching from time to time.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Last night I had the strangest dream; me and the chickens running in the streets, we met a monkey with an eye that gleamed. He drew that line, we couldn't move our beaks. A dog woke me and he said, 'Hey, rooster...

I'm really good at putting my foot in my mouth.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Last night I had the strangest dream; the war was over but I had no peace. The moon was waning, so it wasn't the beams. It's just a dream, but I have no peace. I eavesdropped on my masters, they said that...

It depends. If I've recently dyed my hair, then probably that I'm tall and goofy looking with colorful hair. If not, then probably that I'm tall and goofy looking without the benefit of colorful hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
O, hai, you found the list. Good on you. I am gonna work super hard to keep this short, I promise.

BOOKS - Currently reading More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, which so far is absolutely fantastic no matter what kind of relationships you want to have. Also a friend lent me The Gospel of Loki, which is pretty fun so far. And I just finished the first volume of Rat Queens. And that's all I'm gonna post. 3 is enough, isn't it? I mean, if you really want more, you could just go look at my Goodreads page.

MOVIES - The last movie I watched was What We Do in the Dark, and I found it reasonably amusing. Some of my favorite movies include Man of La Mancha, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Unbreakable, The Heroic Trio, Equilibrium, and Dark City.

TELEVISION - I just finished the first season of Sense8. Wow. Amazeballs.

MUSIC - My tastes are eclectic. The last album I purchased was Subtle Things by Universal Hall Pass, which I found because I'm a big fan of Splashdown. Random track off my Shuffle: "Connected" by Stereo MCs. If you want deeper insight into my listening habits, feel free to peruse my LAST.FM page, and for the indier stuff, I'm also on TheSixtyOne.

If you're a fan of eclecticism and quality, get yourself a subscription to the ridiculously prolific Andrew Huang's label, SutureSound, through which he pumps out a staggering variety of exceptionally well crafted albums at a breathtaking pace.

GAMES - I just finished Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel, and I'm rabidly awaiting No Man's Sky. I also picked up a bunch of new board games recently, Hive, Evolution, Tragedy Looper, Escape!, and something about militant bunnies called Cross Hares (get it?). I joined the local Requiem group last year, and I still attend games semi-regularly. Turns out I enjoy larp.

PODCASTS - I listen to a lot of podcasts. I had a long list here, but I'm cutting it to the last three I listened to today: Science Vs, WTF with Marc Maron, and The Red Panda Adventures from Decoder Ring Theater.

COMICS - Yup, I read comics. On the web, as well as in dead tree format. I deleted the two page long list. If you want to talk comics, let's talk comics. If not, I just saved you two pages of scrolling. You're welcome!

Last night we had the strangest dream, it was disturbing, oh what does it mean? Monkey in a turban, oh what does it mean? We'd better go to the mayor!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

1) Wicker Men.

2) Minotaurs.

3) BonBon von Gloomeater!

4) The number Seven.

5) An unbreakable thread.

6) Stupid lists of arbitrary nonsense.

7) What? I just told you I can't do without it.

8) Wolf gardens.

Then we drove downtown to have a talk with the mayor. He told my masters, uh oh, can't you see? What we have here is a prophecy! Cross your fingers, people, say a prayer! I'm not a religious dog, but I say that...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the above list.

Also lately I spend a lot more time wondering how we have things like WiFi, genetically modified foods (for better or for worse), and electric cars; and yet somehow we're still struggling with racism, gender inequality, homophobia, and why the hell do so many people still insist on following the advice of their invisible friend in the sky despite every indication that if, against all odds, said invisible friend does exist, that invisible friend is clearly a complete asshole.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Thanks in part to OKC and the cool people I've met here, I have a fairly full social life (at least compared to what it used to be). I still spend most weeknights at home, as I leave for work at too-damn-early-o'clock in the morning, but weekends are a mix of chilling at home with the PS3 and heading out on one adventure or another. Saw the new Cirque du Soleil show, Kurios, recently, it was fantastic. Much better than the last one about the egg, which was kind of meh.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I cry at movies sometimes. Not necessarily at the parts you'd think, though. I'm not ashamed of it.

I don't care for sports or beer, but I like breasts and simulated violence enough that I'm pretty sure my guy card is secure (at least for the current commonly accepted masculine paradigm). Just for the record, I find actual violence abhorrent. I only like the kind in movies or video games or maybe UFC matches. Actual living things getting hurt is awful.

I'm a sucker for most accents, they often make me all melty. I realize it's not cool to exoticize people due to their language or culture, but I can't help what hits that button for me.

I'm somewhere on the poly spectrum, but still figuring out exactly where. I know that strict monogamy doesn't interest me, but working out how to be responsibly nonmonogamous is a journey I'm still on. So far, it mostly involves being honest with people, and that's working out pretty well. As a rule, I prefer casual relationships with people whose company I enjoy, and who enjoy mine, but who mostly take care of their own shit the rest of the time. I dunno what that is, but since I prefer communication to labels, it doesn't really matter to me what other people call it.

I'm pretty open. If you want to know something about me, just ask.

Better pray for the Girls! Better pray for the Girls! Ain't no other hope in this whole world.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to tell me about your last roleplaying character?

I'm not specifically looking for any particular sort of relationship. Setting your sights on one specific thing is a good way to miss all the other interesting opportunities that might come your way. I enjoy getting to know people and seeing what happens.

My monkeysphere is in pretty good shape right now. I have good friends with whom to spend my time, my money, and my thoughts. That doesn't mean there might not be room for you in it, if you're interested.

Only one way to find out. ^_^

In sleep we searched behind the Sun, a funny place to find someone. We did not find them on the Moon, we'd dreamed that's where they'd disappeared. We dreamed perhaps another pearl, or dangling on some other dune; but darker dreams we fear- Where'd you go this time, Girls?

Better pray for the Girls! Better pray for the Girls! Ain't no other hope in this whole world, no.

-Frank Black, Pray For the Girls.