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OffCenterFold

37 F Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 31–42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:03pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 1″ (1.55m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Mostly kosher
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Administration
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Other (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Hebrew, Japanese

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Brutal honesty time:

The first thing I am going to look at when I look at your profile is what you put down for the "religion" question. I'm an observant Conservative Jew and I am actively seeking to avoid involvement with someone not of my faith. Also, I don't do "casual" things. I cannot and will not relinquish my relatively observant lifestyle, nor would I ask someone to adopt it who does not do so of his (or her, to be fair and PC and all) own free will, independent of any relationship with me. That said, I am not averse to having and celebrating ethnic and cultural diversity among my friends.

I'm not necessarily disinterested, just disillusioned.

Otherwise, I am exactly what you're looking for, if you are looking for someone intelligent and fun and caring and loyal... But I'm also probably not the Droid (user) you're looking for, because there's a lot more to a person than the basic qualities nearly all of us are seeking. But is my sense of humor one you can appreciate? Will you be able to follow the sometimes twisted, rocky, and occasionally hasty paths my brain takes? Am I going to find your idiosyncrasies endearing or irksome?

We each present a difference facet of ourselves to the people in our lives. Our families see one side, our coworkers another, our friends still another.

If forced to present myself in such a manner, I would have to say I am human, with all that entails. I am flawed in some ways and gifted in others. At times I am enthusiastic, others lackadaisical; I am occasionally naively trusting, sometimes cynical and usually considerate. Sometimes I overthink things, sometimes I rush in headfirst. I believe that proper communication is by nature bidirectional but layered. My tastes are eclectic; I am easily amused and occasionally nitpicky. I like my meat rare, my poultry well-done, and my fish raw.

I live in the State of Confusion, right on the border with the State of Insanity. I can never tell if we're at war; they're all nuts.

I love foxes and hate mosquitos. I derive great comfort from curling up with a good book and/or a good friend. Hugs are essential to life. Massages are good, too.

I love anime and manga, prefer subs to dubs, and have recently taken up knitting. I am behind on my list of promised projects. I dabble in origami, jewelry-making (but not metalwork), and other crafts. I like playing around in the kitchen and am usually successful in my experiments. My favorite flowers are irises, especially the white bearded varieties. My favorite video games waver between the Ace Attorney series and the Harvest Moon and related series. My favorite ice cream flavour is vanilla. It's so adaptable.

If this is an insufficient snapshot, I'm sure you'll either contact me to learn more, or you won't. That's for you to decide.

For what it's worth, I don't bite (though I might consider it under appropriate circumstances), so please don't be afraid to message me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm trying to fix it up and make it prettier, literally as well as figuratively. I've been a NYS employee for about ten years now. I continually seek to make the microcosm a better place, in addition to my attempts to improve the macrocosm.

Oh, and trying to figure out why Pig Latin is not a viable option for a language in which to be fluent on this site.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I was going to expand further on this question, but when one is as eclectic and talented as I (modest grin), where does one draw the line? I'm pretty good with computers, I'm a passable actor with a good script (and I can do a mean improv as well!) I'm highly literate, I'm very artistic... Although my drawing and painting leave somewhat to be desired, I put words together well, and I'm very good when I apply myself to crafts like jewelry design, origami, latch hooking, and the like. I'm a beginning knitter and crocheter as well.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The first positive thing people notice is usually my eyes. They're pretty. *grin* And I've got pretty great hair.

Other than that, almost certainly my size. I'm short and round. But there's so much more to me than that... And I don't mind admitting that it troubles me when people refuse to look past that.

The first aspect of my personality that people tend to notice is my sense of humor -- I usually get told either that I'm very funny -- or I'm very weird. Either one works. ^_^
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
D -- sushi. And chocolate. ...But not together. I love most food, as long as it isn't too spicy, really. And I do keep kosher, at home at least. Outside, I stick to the rules but I'll eat sushi for example at a less than rabbinically certified restaurant. Just no shellfish or pork or cheeseburgers, or anything like that. (The only cheezburger I like is the site.)

C -- Just about anything but most rap and country. I especially love 80s music, Broadway, and Weird Al. I'm also big on Billy Joel, Neil Diamond, Queensryche, you know, all sorts of stuff. I DID mention I'm eclectic.

B -- I'm not into horror flicks. I love SF and Fantasy and Comedy -- even romantic comedy on occasion. My all time favorite is probably "The Last Unicorn" although there are a multitude of others such as "The Princess Bride" and "The Fiddler on the Roof" for which I'll drop almost whatever I'm doing.

A -- If it's in print, I must at least try it. My favorites are too numerous to list, but as with movies, I appreciate fantasy and SF (My favorite authors include Peter S. Beagle may he live in health and happiness for a long time to come, Anne McCaffrey may she fly high with her dragons forever in peace now, Esther Freisner, Tanya Huff, some of Piers Anthony's older material, Mercedes Lackey, Robert A. Heinlein, Alan Dean Foster, Robert Asprin... the list goes on, and on, and on...)

Books to which I have a special attachment include Les Miserables, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats (and the musicals based off of each), The Last Unicorn and anything else by Peter S. Beagle, and a book entitled Starfish by Edith Thatcher Hurd, among others.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Water, food, shelter, cleanish air, electromagnetic energy, and that little spark of divinity known as "soul" -- if you want to get technical.

In terms of things I'd prefer not to lack: walking in thunderstorms, curling up with a good book, candles, my friends/family, and my vollie ambulance (usually).

The first six that came to mind when I first answered this question: Books, sleep, oxygen, massages, technology, and people.

There are plenty of others.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Take off the about, and leave it at that for now...

Random assorted stuff.

How stupid commercials have become -- not that they were all that wonderful twenty years ago.

My ambulance corps.

More random assorted stuff.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Keeping Shabbos. Either going to shul or sleeping.... USUALLY not both at the same time... ^_~ Or reading myself into a happily oblivious stupor until I fall asleep. Occasionally sleeping myself into a happily oblivious stupor until I fall into a book...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm dyslexic: words and numbers move around or appear backwards, and I also have some trouble differentiating left from right.

Sometimes I like to have the last word. Even if it's on the level of "neener."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually have something to say other than "hi". I've decided I will no longer respond to messages that don't display a modicum of creativity. I will not respond to "txtspeak" or messages that are not actual conversational gambits. Sorry if that seems harsh, but not really.

Please do NOT message me if you're simply looking to get inside my skirt. I'm not looking for frivolous sexual encounters.

In terms of a relationship, I will only date someone Jewish; being as observant as I am (relatively speaking) it's easier all around.

(If you actually like doing housework, that could be considered a plus...)