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35 Gaithersburg, MD Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 29-40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 17
5' 5" (1.66m)
Body Type
Average build
Doesn’t have kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I guess this is the part where I tell you how fabulous I am!
I'm pretty straight forward and I like to think that I have a pretty good sense of humor… but only because people ask me if I have my own reality show. I've been told that I can be a little feisty (which is generally followed by a curse word and the word redhead). Since I’ve already tried submitting my life for a biography and it was turned down, I’ve decided to express myself through some of my likes and dislikes. If you’re wondering why my biography was turned down, it was only because apparently Comedy Central has bigger standards. Who knew?

• Uncomfortable situations have a tendency to make me crack jokes so first date funerals are probably out of the question.

• I’m passionate about my convictions but always willing to open discussions.

• Three things I feel no one should ever speak about when alcohol is involved: Religion, Politics and Rival Sports Teams.

• Memes are the only reason I’m on FaceBook. I feel as though they capture my feelings.

• I believe that the odds of a zombie apocalypse happening are greater than the odds of the ending of “Pretty Woman.” Seriously. Like that would ever happen.

• I constantly struggle between Sunday Night Football and the Walking Dead. Yes I have DVR. I’m just not sure which to watch first.

• I indulge in a Starbucks Caramel Macchiato once a month. Not because I’m on some weird smoothie diet, only because I don’t believe in $4 coffee every day.

• Incorrect spelling irritates me. I’m the person who would correct the spelling on the wall in a public restroom. (Okay it hasn’t actually happened yet... but only because I have yet to figure out how women end up with markers while in a public restroom).

• Grammar is very important. Except in text messages. I feel as though the commas are trying too hard and I feel bad for them.

• Clint Eastwood can do anything. Much like Target.

• I have a strange aversion to toothpicks. Long Story.

• I Love DC and New York at Christmas time. It always makes me feel like I’m a kid who just got a free snow day.

• Anyone else wonder if there's an end to the OKC questions? I'm pretty sure whether or not I watch documentaries is inconsequential.

I enjoy anything that involves good company and many laughs. I'm just looking for someone who I can have fun with, good conversation and laugh at the small things so that we can enjoy the big together.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to learn how to run in heels without looking like a Muppet on crack.

Also, just started T25. If I'm not on here again, it's because I'm dead. Seriously recommend it for all you fitness enthusiasts out there!!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Everything I don't screw up.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Always my hair. It's a blessing and a curse (10 points if you know where that line is from..)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) My Family. I'm very close with them.
2) My Best Friends. Only because they know too much.
3) HOS Games. I might have a problem.
4) Dry sense of humor because it cracks me up.
5) Hairbrush. Seriously. My hair is out of control.
6) Football. I could probably live without it. I just don’t want to.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether or not spiders are plotting my death.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably drinking (my happy hours have a tendency to turn into late nights) or napping (from said late Thursday night).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyebrows are actually blonde. You can't see them unless I put something on them. It's weird.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1) You found my profile at least mildly entertaining.
2) You realize that redheads hate being called "Red(s)". I am not a Crayola model.
3) You have a sense of humor. I don't tend to mix well with sensitive people.
4) I understand shy people... I can be in certain settings. Please don't be so quiet that I end up babbling the entire time.
5) It's sad that I have to say this but "if you are NOT married." If your profile name has the word "affair" in it and you contact me, I cannot be held responsible for the verbal assault you will receive.
6) You are not a sociopath, narcissist or serial killer (I'm pretty firm on the serial killer part).