I've had this account maybe 7 years now? I dated one gal I met here for a year, then later another for 3 years.  I've been on a smattering of other dates from here, but I am not looking to hook up. I'm aiming to find like-minded compatible women interested in sincere relationships.

Oh no! Red flag! He mentioned his exes. Skip to the next guy!

Le sigh. I have written & rewritten so many profiles, playing the game of captring my likeness in words. Perhaps I am on the wrong site? I don't know if Okcupid is used by the same demographics it was 5 years ago.  I live & work in West Hollywood so I am surrounded by certain kinds of people, who don't seem to be my cup of tea.  I have instead been historically drawn to grad students or PHD types because I value intelligence & questioning (and I make for smart company ;-).  I am a food man. I grew up a christian and left that entirely. I am very interested in psychology & the crux of people's ideologies. I don't value faith or when someone believes something without questioning it. I want a partner who is media savvy enough to see how she is being manipulated by the messages aimed at her.  I want a woman who doesn't care what other's think as much as she tries to follow her own compass, and is self-aware about it. This is possibly why you have left where you lived to come here. I hope you have an inkling though, that you might want to go back. To there, or somewhere.

I feel like dating worked so well framed in the confines of youth, of simplicity and sincerity.  I was so naively optimistic about OkCupid before.  I disliked that the catalyst which led me to approach women was my visual appreciation of their beauty.  Sure, I wanted that, and to find socially/culturally compatible partners, but mostly I hoped the Internet would/can make it possible to find compatible selves. I remember thinking "wouldn't it be nice to know if she reads books before I walk up and approach her? Maybe I should get a job at a bookstore." To make the complex sorting simpler.

And that is what I did here with my last girlfriend.  It was fantastic to find a like-minded & compatible soul.  We had a beautiful relationship.  And now, nearly a year out I am through the mental reconciliation and looking to date again.  

If you've read this far, I trust you are considering me.  My instinct is to haphazardly follow that sentence with "I can't imagine why"; not because I don't see my worth, but because i doubt I've demonstrated it in this profile.

I am self aware, intelligent, empathetic, kind, respectful,  extraordinarily nice, kooky, and... not like other people [I have been told that so man times].  How am I different?  I am an utterly true soul. I am creative and seem to have a unique and wise perspective on life.  I know many people and they remember me.   I am overflowing with acceptance.

One time I organized one of those huge flashmob dances you see on YouTube videos. I taught hundreds and hundreds of people how to do the dance.  I am not that good a dancer, but I can train and lead and connect with people.  At that time I wanted to up my game and see what I was capable of.  I was interested in building community, creativity & acceptance.  I wanted people who felt like they couldn't dance to experience that they could.  I am very giving, but I am NOT playing at that level of community any more.

I have spent the past year working my arse off to secure the promotion I am about to get this summer. I am going to fly around and help open/train new restaurants for my restaurant, Veggie Grill, as we go national. I mention this, a) hoping I'll get past your "does he have a serious job" filter, b) to explain why I have fallen of the earth for a year and don't have as many fun stories or interests as I used to. Clearly I feel insecure about that or I wouldn't be defending myself.

How do I sell myself to you? How do I cover over any sadness, and awkwardness and make myself sound golden?  You know as well as I that we write the best about ourselves in these profiles. How can I paint an authentic picture of myself: 

I am forgetful yet vs life seems new and exciting to me.
I am extroverted = I talk too much.
I am interesting = I am weird and don't fit in, and/or I talk too much.
I am a good person = I am boring? And not sexy?
I am fun = I don't take things seriously enough... But now i think I do, so maybe I am not fun anymore?
My strong arms have nothing to do & no one to hold.

I feel deconstructed.  I know who I am and what I want, and so now past the quest of discovery, what do I have to share or say?  I want to love and give and bond, but first I have to sell myself, and to do that I have to know who I am now and how to articulate it, and then find a way to sell it.  It all looks so contrived?  I just want to go on a date, and look at your beauty, and be kind to you.  I have to figure out a way to reach you, so we can get together.  

Oh? What? You ask if I wrote this at 2am? Why yes, yes I did. How could you tell?

I went from being a rather social extrovert with a variety of interesting hobbies, passions and experiences, to now only doing 2 things, working a lot and playing one video game online a lot. Sure, I agree that is a negative, but I am not looking to curry favor, unless you want to help me build a five sided pyramid on minecraft.

I have had this profile for 5 or so years. I have liked the same things all that time. Things like the film Amelie, or the musician Paul Simon, the book Guns, Germs & Steel. But though I like those things and they reveal what sort of person I am emotionally or intellectually, they don't seem relevant anymore to what I actually DO.

I see many of the sci-fi or special-effects films with my nerd/dork/geek friends. I read Reddit.com and play Minecraft. Sometimes I watch Colbert Report or Southpark on my computer. I recently rented Pleasantville off iTunes on my phone (and watched it on my phone). I play Draw Something on said phone, and Ticket to Ride. I enjoy the board game Settlers of Catan and often teach people how to play. I am a paying member of KCRW & either KUSC or KPCC (I forget which). I use Macs, but currently also have a PC laptop. I torrent. I no longer go to live shows, except Hollywood Bowl concerts. I don't own a tv nor a couch. I designed & built my own book shelf. I use my computer standing. Once I went up an down my neighborhood glueing googly eyes to things. The stop sign still has them. Another time I used the Nike Ap on my phone, which tracks where you run on a map, and used that imaging to write my friends name by running in that path, so I could send her a screen shot. This seems much more to the point to me than saying that I like the film Spirited Away or Arcade Fire.

I deleted everything here off my profile.

You'd like to grab a coffee.