Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Never petted a tiger, run a Tough Mudder, taken a bathroom/gym
selfie or been to Machu Picchu. OKCupid admins are bound to shut me
down at any minute.
I've got your/you're, then/than and its/it's on lockdown. Not so
I tend to dream of plane crashes, wildly proportioned architecture,
invasions and other sorts of engrossing calamity. But during waking
hours, the little things are what most catch my attention.
There's other stuff I care about, there must be. Big, important
stuff that spans continents and centuries. I just can't think of
any right now. Ask again later.
In the meantime, I'll save us the time and energy of the inevitable
question everyone seems to ask: "What are you looking for on
A long litany of OKC encounters have impressed upon me the wisdom
of not seeking out any specific thing. I used to. There have been
times, for example, where I looked for something purely physical.
There have been times where I looked for someone to spend "all" my
time around. There have been times where I looked for folks to just
do fun things with. What's made itself clear since starting this
ridiculous online dating venture is that preconceptions just muck
things up. Period.
So now, each new conversation is a blank slate, zero expectations.
Would it be great to have some sort of clothes-shreddingly torrid
affair? If that's what feels right, sure. Would it be great to make
a fabulous new friend who brightens my life in all kinds of ways?
Absolutely. Would it be great to meet someone exciting and
attractive to just spend some time with and get to know? No doubt.
Would it be great to find The One and make a whole bunch of the
most brilliant and staggeringly beautiful babies the world has ever
seen? Of course it would.
Any and all outcomes would each be great in their own way. But I
don't -- and won't -- push deliberately toward any of them. We
meet. I talk. You talk. I laugh. You laugh. From there it's one
moment to the next, and wherever things end up, great, it'll be a
blast when we get there.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Finishing your sentences. Knowing what you want. Also: Boggle and
Sudoku. Like, crazy good.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1. My candor.
2. I'm a lot nicer than you'd think I'd be.
3. "Your photos don't do you justice."
4. I'm also too hard on myself. It's a puzzling conundrum you'd
have to see to believe.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MUSIC: mid 2000s indie, early 90s rap ..... BOOKS: One Hundred
Years of Solitude - A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Guns,
Germs and Steel - A People's History of the United States - The
Great Typo Hunt - Franz Kafka: the Complete Stories - The Road to
Serfdom - Fast Food Nation - Autumn of the Patriarch - Anna
Karenina - Crime and Punishment - Madame Bovary ..... MOVIES:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Her - Beginners - Birdman -
Wet Hot American Summer - Idiocracy - Akira - Dune - Magnolia .....
TV: The Wire - Friday Night Lights - Breaking Bad - Futurama -
Louie - Archer - LOST - Happy Endings
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I don't need any of this stuff. Except this ashtray, and that's the
only thing I need is this. I don't need this or this -- just this
And this paddle game.
The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need.
And this remote control.
The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's
all I need.
And these matches.
The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the
And this lamp.
The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the
lamp, and that's all I need. I don't need one other thing. Not
I need this chair.
The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the
matches for sure.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Consumerism. Aesthetics. The mind-boggling marvel that is
And sharks. There are definitely sharks in every body of water
bigger than a bathtub.
And then there's that scene from Louie where Liz explains that he
gets so anxious at the roof's edge because, deep down, part of him
wants to jump. Holy fuck.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Three, maybe four, of the following: work, eat, read, drink, write,
laugh, sleep -- plus the occasional unmentionable or two thrown in
for good measure.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I try too hard sometimes.
Also, I suck at duvet covers.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... you can infuriate and inspire me at the same time, and prove me
wrong on a regular basis
... you recognize my "Six Things"
... you rarely (or never) compromise honesty
... you won't get too miffed that I correct people for saying "to
try and" or "the data is"
... our babies would make everyone jealous. Not that I want you to
give me babies. It's just good to know we'd churn out some
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.