I will begin by saying that, like god, I have nine thousand names. Unlike god, however, none among mine means a damned thing, except as a collection of syllables I associate with myself. But you can call me Volafor, or Little Olaf. Many folks do. You know...the ones who don't call me Bruce, or the Fraust Farry, or Ondar the Ungodly.

What? Oh, the Evil King thing? Yeah, that's a reference.

I reckon what you should know about me first is that I'm headstrong, fearless and blindingly honest; like Rum Tum Tugger, I will do as I do do, and there's no doing anything about it. I'm an unabashed loner with a good, if slightly subtle, sense of humor and a love for the absurd. Full of ideas, I love to talk about all sorts of subjects, even though that often leads to having charges of nerdiness leveled at me. I'm curious, open-minded, easygoing and a decent listener, but also detached, analytical and sarcastic. Occasionally I am capable of these really great bursts of infectious energy and joie de vivre; most of the time, though, I'm like a fossil dropped from a tall building--a cloud of dust and a burst of petrified shrapnel.

I don't really care a whole lot what other people do. I'm interested in other people, in a general way; it's just that I don't often let watching them mess things up for themselves get me down, if you can dig that. It's hard for me to admit that I care about someone; I'd rather goad them into caring for themselves, and then look on, satisfied. If you were to think of me as an elderly anthropomorphic lioness, that would be kind of apt: I've gotten used to being the most emotionally evolved person in the bunch, so while I may be too wise to interfere with anyone else, I've still got a roar and a left hook that'll knock yer Jockeys into next week--askew.

I'm here looking for friends or pen pals. I'll talk to anyone; I'm not really good at being social, but I oscillate between tolerance and love for other people, though I lack the skills to relate to them. I've grown silent in person, because I've discovered that most people aren't that interested in listening to what I have to say. If you think you stand in defiance of this, you're welcome to try your luck.

Other miscellaneous junk:
--I'm a cat fancier, obviously.
--I can never remember whether an if/then statement is supposed to include a comma. I look it up, fix it up, then forget it. And yes, I care.
--I like the cold.
--I'm moderately artsy-fartsy.
--I like a drink now and then, but I don't get drunk. And I can't stand beer.

I am inquisitive, unpersonable, and funky

Gi, Yu, Jin, Rei, Makoto, Meiyo, Chugi.

Burning incense in my helmet, QED.

Dancing backward through the aisles in Wal-Mart, warbling at the top of my lungs with the Muzak, waving a box of cookies in each hand like a majorette on crack.
Eating chocolate candy.
Listening to music.
Taking pictures of stuff.
Having a cup of tea.
Playing a video game.
Laughing my fool head off.

And other such galley-page matter.

Keeping my cat from getting lonely.

Final Fantasy Tactics. Seriously, I am. My guys would break your guys.

Singing. Well, I don't know if I'm really good at it, but I'm fair to middling, and I like to.

If you meet me outside of work, you're apt to notice that I like hats, that I routinely wave my hands around and lapse into ridiculous voices when I talk, or that I have a big, loud, tonsil-showing laugh. I'm probably wearing something weird, like tie-dye, menswear, or shiny ballet slippers; I've almost certainly got in at least one headphone. If we make accidental eye contact I'll tip you my hat and smile even if I don't know you. Go ahead, assume I'm simple Simone...make my day.

Books:
My complete list of well loved books is absurd; in the name of bottomless fascination I've been known to consume everything from trashy bodice-rippers to books for dummies. That aside, I like Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Terry Pratchett, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, Mark Twain, Lewis Carroll, Henry James, H. P. Lovecraft.... When I was going through school, I read a lot of great poetry and literature: The Odyssey, Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, The Glass Menagerie, Eliot's "The Wasteland," Dante's Inferno, stuff like that. Lately, though, I seem to be gravitating toward the pop genres. I've got a theory as to why good fantasy novels are getting so difficult to find.

Movies:
The Blues Brothers, The Princess Bride, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Toy Story (both, but especially the original), Donnie Darko, Kill Bill (again, both), Yellow Submarine, Cloverfield, V for Vendetta, Wall*E, Kung Fu Panda, in no particular order.

Music:
Buckethead, Yoko Kanno/Seatbelts, Steely Dan, Primus, They Might Be Giants, Toadies, Yoshida Brothers, The Beatles, Jethro Tull, Frank Zappa, King Crimson, Pink Floyd, Kate Bush, Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper, Tom Waits, Led Zeppelin, Tom Lehrer, Type O Negative, Dizzy Gillespie, Cradle of Filth, Death Cab for Cutie, Flogging Molly, Static X, Grateful Dead, Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, Marilyn Manson, Randy Newman, Joe Satriani...ad infinitum. I don't differentiate so much among genres or even sound as I do among meaning, depth and accuracy of emotional expression, uniqueness, or cleverness. In general I like jazz, classic rock, classic progressive, funk, some alternative, some punk, some metal, some opera...really it just depends on the arrangement, the lyrics, the instrumentation, the beat, and the melody. Even I haven't totally isolated what makes my brain go ahhhhh.

Food:
I'm not picky. I like simple kinds of things: fresh fruit and veggies, chicken, cheese.... I have a sweet tooth, but I prefer a nice piece of dried fruit to a candy bar. That isn't to say that I never ever buy myself a box of Dots or an assortment from Godiva, however.

Tea. What's not to love about a beverage that is both tasty and fun to talk about? There is something about the word "Oolong" that makes me want to go "Bork!"
Music.
Three-subject, wire-bound, college ruled notebooks. The "easy to tear" perforations are optional, however.
At least one mechanical pencil with a supply of 0.5 lead, and a decent eraser.
My pocket knife.
My cat.

where I left my there it is.

I work a lot, but when I'm not at work...oh, I write, I play a video game, I play Peek with my cat, I put on my hat and go downtown to buy something interesting to snack on, I mix up a Salty Dog.

No I'm not.
:D

Actually, I'm a pretty private person. Anything I might be willing to admit would probably strike most people as tame. Unfortunately, I have no really nasty sexual fetishes or anything neat like that.

You want to. You are master of your own judgment, after all.