Now, if you're still reading this means you haven't rolled your eyes and wandered off in disgust at the dreaded f-word (or I'm preaching to the choir. Hi choir!). Anyway, without using any buzzwords I'm going to sum up some underlying assumptions about gender:
1. Women do not want sex.
2. Men have to buy sex from women with various currencies.
Now, #1 is patently and obviously untrue. All you have to do is look at the capacity for female orgasm* to realize that humans evolved to enjoy sex so that they would want it. Women do want sex, they're just not allowed to say it, for reasons I'll get into later.
#2 is much more subtle and insidious. It's not that a man has to literally buy off a woman to get into her pants...but everyone's come across the phrase "Men use emotional intimacy to get sex, women use sex to get emotional intimacy". Everyone's heard about Caveman Theory (woman gets an ugly but financially stable man as a husband to raise her children, then fucks much more attractive [ie genetically fit] men).** Everyone's heard about Ladder Theory, about how women have some invisible social hierarchy they rank men on and will immediately abandon their current mate for a higher-up guy.*** I could go on, but each of these examples are based fundamentally on the idea that women do not want sex and have to be bought, cajoled, tricked, or otherwise convinced into having sex.
Now, this is leftover from a time when women were not allowed to own property and their only power and wealth came from the men in their lives. When in those circumstances, yes, it's reasonable to frame sex in terms of supply and demand...but obviously this isn't the case any more. Women are allowed to fuck anyone they want now, so why are you inventing reasons why they shouldn't?
It all comes down to the idea that women who have lots of sex are sluts, and sluts are bad. Why? No really, why? Wouldn't life be a lot better if every woman who wanted to have sex could bring herself to say so outright without being heaped with scorn and disgust? What is so wrong about women behaving exactly like men? Because really, men and women aren't as different as modern society would have you believe. Believe it or not, women are human beings and like to be treated as such.
TLDR: if you truly believe women are human beings, you will get laid
~*continued in next section*~
*Liberal Ivory-Tower Intellectual Elitism demands I explain that I'm talking about populations in general, and make allowances for individual variation. Consider them made.
**Don't even get me started on sexual evolutionary theorists. They pretty much all of them start from the status quo and work backwards, usually by asking a group of college students leading questions, until they can triumphantly assert that women are evolved to be whores.
***This one is usually put forth by guys suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome. Don't be a Nice Guy for the love of god.
Now, I've used this site for years. I've experimented with hinting at my predilections, and all that got me was a massive flood of men making the aforementioned assumption, that just because I openly say that I want to have sex, I will have sex with them sight unseen. So I eliminated all mentions of sex, which cut it down somewhat. But even then, maybe one in 20 was worth responding to. And for everyone I responded to, maybe one in 10 got to the point of meeting for coffee, and for everyone I met for coffee maybe one 5 would get a second date. Even if all I want is to get some.
Why is this?
Well, first of all I have to make sure they're not obviously lying, not creepy, capable of respecting my personal boundaries, physically attractive, and capable of having a conversation with me. Oh, and is attracted to me, which doesn't always happen because men are also human beings with individual predilections. And even beyond that, I have to subtly bring up the fact that I'm primarily interested in sex and not in a serious committed relationship, which isn't necessarily what he wants. So most of the time we part ways, maybe mildly disappointed, but oh well.
Now, all of this would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just straight up say I wanted to hook up but when I do that I get the kind of people I don't want. But I am silly with wanted to be respected and stuff, so instead I have to basically lie! So I welcome you, dear viewer, to sit back and carefully consider your unconscious assumptions and views on how women are supposed to behave, and then take a look at how men are supposed to behave.
~*continued in next section, man I am a wordy bitch*~
The second are people who have interesting things to say to me about feminism or social stuff or whatever. And also people who try to argue against me, which is very confusing. I don't want to rant about ~*The Patriarchy*~ too much but the current system only benefits a very few people, and you are probably not one of them. You should not want things to be the way they are and trying to defend it is very confusing to me. Depending on how bored I am I'll usually respond within a week or two.
The third kind are people asking me out politely. You're always welcome to do so. :)