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30 F Spring Grove, PA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:41pm
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
My only goal in life is to live and let live. I'm not ambitious or competitive. I'm more reactive than proactive. I don't cheat on people, I don't play games, I'm not a drug addict. I don't lie, I don't steal, I don't actively hate anyone. I wont give you a headache if you need alone time. I wont stalk you. If you tell me something, I take you at your word.

I love finding things that make me happy. I always look for the silver lining in every situation. But I also have been known to sell myself short. I think I'm okay but I think it's difficult for every-day people to see that greatness in me. I've been told I'm an awesome person with a great heart. If you talk to me, I'll let you decide.

I'm very submissive, humble, down to earth, and well-mannered. But I do enjoy cursing like a sailor and getting into trouble.

Please don't message me if you cannot handle a real person who has been through a great deal. Also don't message me if all you want is someone to fuck. I'm not a sex doll. Do I love sex? Sure do! With the right kind of person.

I have a very high IQ (145), I'm an INFJ, but I also have PTSD, anxiety, and suffer from depression.

I'm not perfect; I don't think anyone is. But I'm a sweetheart. I am unafraid of doing things for the people I love. I go out of my way to show my appreciation. I have a natural desire to help people make their lives better if I can.

I ramble a lot; can you tell? I like to laugh at life, I love to experience new things, I'm an open minded, free thinking individual with a gothy-geeky hybrid aesthetic. I'm not looking to complete anyone or be completed; I'm looking for someone who can be a co-pilot in this madness known as life.

I am great at problem solving, but I don't have the most extensive vocabulary known to mankind and I am horrible at remembering names/dates/facts. Concepts? I'm great at grokking them.

I'm more attracted to ideas than beliefs. To boys than to girls. To books than to movies or tv. To listening than speaking. To intelligence than to physical appearance. To self exploration than denial. To life than to death. To being submissive rather than dominant.

Random shit to throw in before your eyes glaze over:
->I am a smoker, I smoke Newport box 100s and I enjoy them.
->I do not want to date or fool around with someone who is devout in any religion.
->I'm an INFJ (don' t know what this is? google it lol).
->I am overweight; I don't hide that fact. Look at more than just the first couple of pictures.
->If you don't like me because I'm fat, I don't like you because you are shallow. :p
->I have PTSD, Anxiety, and depression from some severe life experiences.

I want more out of life than what I've got; which is to say I'd like to find a passion that I can pursue that doesn't leave me feeling like I'm a drone at the end of the work day.

Will this happen? Stay tuned next week on sick...sad... world...
What I’m doing with my life
Contemplating the mysteries of my universe. Recalibrating myself to exist in the realm of reality while my mind traverses the fictitious and superfluous.

Figuring out what my major is going to be when I hit up a 4 year university. Hoping to figure this out sooner rather than later but so many aspects of life interest me, not all of them profitable/practical. It is rather difficult to pick something practical while at the same time not so dull I will want to take an ice pick to my brain to achieve relief from the awful.

When I'm not doing any of the above, I'm reading as many books as I can get my hands/kindle on, I'm writing poetry or short fiction to amuse myself, I'm gaming on facebook (don't judge me lol), watching random movies (mostly cartoons), as well as figuring out how to get an income source so I can be self sufficient.

Oh, and apparently I run a Marilyn Manson Facebook fangroup now.
I’m really good at
Social Networking (online), Problem solving, coloring, noticing inconsistencies in behavior, being quiet, small gestures of appreciation, listening to others, making analogies.

Writing dark/erotic poetry, Singing, Sewing, Word Games (Literati, Scrabble, Word Womp, Word Mole, etc), Reading, and diffusing intense situations.

Writing Sample (Skip to next section if you don't like poetry; I'm not trying to make you lol):

Good Bye

Hey hey, come out and play
Oh I was just kidding, not today
You come here, I'll kiss your hands
Worship your tears and smooth your furrowed brow

And we can be silly and dead serious again
I'll tell you about my hopes and dreams and then
Maybe you'll want me still in the morning
After the lights go out and I give you what you're wanting

Then you'll say hey, hey come out and play
Oh I was just kidding, wanted you last night but not today
Last night you came here and I kissed your lips
I bit your neck and sucked on your fingertips

I worshiped you, like the goddess herself
And you fell, and you fell, and you felt
So perfect between these giant hands of mine
I don't want you now though, that was last night.

And I'll tell your friends there's still something here
I still want you, baby, of course I really care
But I don't have time for you between family and school
--Who am I kidding, I know you're just a fool

You care too much, you opened up too soon
And now I got what I wanted from you
A few nights together, a few moments in time
I'll never be yours, never wanted you for mine

Whats this? I tug on your heart strings too tight?
Well that's because it's tomorrow, not last night.
Did you want more than I had to offer up in effigy?
That's just too bad, 'cause in the end you'll never have me.

Hey hey come out and play
Let me make plans with you and then run away
You come here, I've got a future in mind
Don't worry, baby, you know it's just a lie.
That wasn't for today, that was just for last night.

And now it's time to let go--
time for you to say good bye.
The first things people usually notice about me
-->tattoos and/or eyebrow piercing

---> On this site? That I take a lot of tests and have answered tons of questions. No really, go take a look. I'll wait right here. *swirls ice cubes around in glass of iced tea* :)

-->If I lost 100 more lbs, I could probably make a fortune as a live action version of Daria Morgendorffer. ;)

-->blue eyes

-->hair is wicked long and oddly dyed, most of the time. Right now it is some sort of brunette mixed with reds. I am thinking of going back to bright red in the future, but for now this will have to do. :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
1984, Anthem, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Anita Blake Series, Southern Vampire Series, Stranger in a Strangeland, Lord of the Rings, The Vampire Chronicles, The Hobbit, The Wheel of Time, The Kybalion, the Ender's Game books (even though Mr. Card has beliefs that are different from mine), the Hunger Games trilogy, R.A. Salvatore books revolving around Drizzt Do'Urden. The Giver, Island of the Blue Dolphins, Indian Captive and Sign of the Beaver. Oh and Aliens Ate My Homework by Bruce Coville. :)

Currently Reading: Montaigne's Essays and Notes from the Underground by Feodor ­Dostoevsky.

Forget Will Ferrell. Yuck. If it is a movie and he is in it, I'm so not down with it! Sci-Fi, Gory Horror films, Action, Comedy, Comic Book, Anime, Musicals, Documentaries, Fantasy... I really don't have a particular favorite genre. Whatever looks interesting and grabs my attention ;)

Specific movies: American Psycho, Mirror Mask,Labyrinth,Legend,The Sword in The Stone,Natural Borne Killers, The Crow, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, Les Miserables,Rent, So much more.

Family Guy, Futurama, Simpsons, Dexter, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, Weeds, anything interesting on Discover, The History Channel, or Animal Planet (non-"reality" tv, more documentaries), Big Bang Theory, Hemlock Lane, Daria, Dollhouse, Roar, Invasion America, Adventure Time, and much much more

Blutengel (Die With You is my favorite song at the moment), Diary of Dreams (Favorite song is She), Jack Off Jill (Nazi Halo), Hollywood Undead (Outside), Marilyn Manson (Thrift), Beautiful Creatures (Time and Time Again), Stabbing Westward (TV), Cradle of Filth (Nymphetamine), NIN (Reptile), KoRN (Alone I Break), Limp Bizkit (Behind Blue Eyes), Depeche Mode (World In My Eyes), REM (Losing My Religion), Eminem (Rap God), 3 6 Mafia (It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp), Ludacris (She Said), Adam and His Package (Punk Rock Academy), Sex Pistols (God Save The Queen), VNV Nation (Illusion), Cruxshadows (Winterborn- Subway to Sally Remix), Behemoth (The Lord is Upon Me), Poets of the Fall (Someone Special), Awolnation Sail, Ladytron, Goldfrapp, London After Midnight (Spider and the Fly), Terminal Choice (Don't Go), Velvet Acid Christ (Slut), Patsy Cline (After Midnight), Jeff Hilliard (Good Life), Lonely Island, Yvlis, A Perfect Circle (Pet), Tool (Parabola), Pink (Stop Falling) Dear gods am I still adding? I love music, okay?

Food: Nutella, Fresh baked bread, dark chocolate, Peanut Butter anything (practically), peppered beef jerky, pizza--from New England area; the further south you go on the East coast the less desirable it gets. I know this from experience. lol. Sushi. Pho. Turkey, ... I'm not very picky. As long as it doesn't look or smell bad, we're good. Oh and it doesn't have mushrooms in it. ; ; I'm allergic.

Beverages: Tea (Earl G., Chai, and Iced), coffee, chocolate or strawberry milk, Water
The six things I could never do without
music, coffee, sex, my glasses, soft fluffy things ;), not so soft n fluffy things
I spend a lot of time thinking about
philosophical things- like existentialism and misanthropy, serial killers and musicians, my next creative endeavor (I love to write poems and make stencil art, I love to sew and sing, creative things make me moist haha), why my phone after only four years would serve life better as a paperweight than a communication device, Schrodinger and how he obviously hated animals, how I wish I could get abducted by aliens cause I've been unimpressed thus far with Earth and I'm hoping there's a more awesome planet out there somewhere that I'd get to go to, Childhood trauma (I have PTSD-- can't help but think about what I went through but it doesn't define me, it's just a part of who I am), how various religions compare to one another and all say the same thing, if Zeitgeist has any legitimacy or if it was just a really well done mock-umentary to get conspiracy theorists to salivate...

I don't know. I like to think about things a lot but I don't usually articulate it to the general population.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about how to trim this novel down to something more easily digestible. lol.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight. :3

Seriously though: I spend Fridays the same way I spend the other days. How ever the hell I want. There is no routine or set thing. I could be having fun with the fire pit in the back yard or I could be gaming until the wee hours of the morning. I could be out at a bar or visiting with friends in NY. I could be with friends in DE or also MD. I get around a bit. :D Life is too short to stay in one place forever.

I should mention: I have a license but I don't have a car or a job at the moment. I live in the middle of nowhere. I'm not a bad person, just getting through a bad time in life.

If you want to meet me, chances are good you're going to have to go on a road trip. Sorry!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't do the self-loathing and hatred thing for people to lavish compliments on me or at me. I do it because I'd rather squash whatever ego I might have. I want to be a good person; to me a good person is someone who isn't ego-centric. *shrug*
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 20–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You feel like it. No, seriously. Do it. I dare you. :p

***If you're self-absorbed, extraordinarily vain, illiterate, and/or judgmental, we are not going to get along. If you just want to touch, crush and be on your way... you better be a great person with an awesome mind or I'm going to delete you***

Alternately, you should message me if you are tired of talking to women on here who care more about your physical and material endowments than your meta-physical and emotional ones AND you can write multiple paragraph messages that have some semblance of coherency.