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One4sarcasm429

40 M Agawam, MA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:58am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Education
Two-year college
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Yiddish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
My dating "history" thus far can be summed up in one paragraph: The biggest difference between Charles Manson and most of the girls I've dated is that at least Charles Manson has the decency to look like a psycho when you first meet him! Moving on...
**Update**: The above paragraph, while mostly true, is meant to be funny as I dont think there's anyone on here who doesn't have a few, good dating "horror" stories. No, I'm not blaming everyone else for my varied dating history and no, I'm not calling all women psychos (at least not out loud)...lighten up!
Lettuce see (Ok, I like bad puns)... I've been called equal parts smart-ass and dork. As I've never heard someone described this way, I take it as a compliment.
I am an unapologetic atheist and skeptic. If you believe in kindness, compassion and equality for all, we will get along fine, gods or no gods.
My sarcasm tends to be dry and if you're anything like me, then you'll understand when I say that phrases like "You know I was joking, right?" and "I was kidding" have become regular parts of my vocabulary. That being said, I also laugh hard at jokes that would make a 5th grader groan and roll their eyes. Oh, and anyone who tells me or suggests I might use sarcasm as some sort of "wall" or "shield" should really get some kind of "life".
I will still ride the back of the grocery cart to my car when the mood strikes me.
I also have my own car, my own apartment and work full-time. I am not looking for someone to take care of me.
I have 8 tattoos and play music part time. I play bass guitar (that's the one with 4 strings). Every once in a while I practice in my apartment for the sole purpose of pissing of my noisy upstairs neighbors. They think stomping on the floor will make me turn it down. They'd be wrong. I just turn it up louder so I can't hear them stomping.
I own 2 cats and spend once a week volunteering at a cat shelter. I also volunteer for the American Red Cross on their Disaster Action Team and I also try to find time to promote Breast Cancer Awareness (walks, fund-raisers, etc).
What I’m doing with my life
I work...a lot. In my free time, I spend time with my family or end up reading. I also volunteer at a cat shelter once a week.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes. They're green but people have told me they change to blue at times. I've never seen it happen. And lately, I've been getting compliments on my voice.
I'm also not a natural "smiler". That's not to say I don't smile or that I'm always in a bad mood. Most often times, I'm not. I just have to be reminded occasionally to smile.
I've also been told my lips but I'm still scratching my head about that one...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music-The Beatles, Queen, Shinedown, Collective Soul, Billy Joel, Slipknot, Disturbed, Type-O Negative, Fear Factory, Bullet For My Valentine, Iron Maiden, Faith No More...just to name a few.

Movies-"The Shawshank Redemption", "The Princess Bride", "The Boondock Saints", "Schindler's List", "Airplane!", "Blazing Saddles"

Books-I read a ton but anything from Eastern philosophy to the workings of the brain/mind (a debate in itself), science. Voltaire (Écrasez l'infâme!), Robert Ingersoll, Thomas Paine are among my favorite free-thought authors. Non-fiction (mystery), History

TV-"Dexter", "Modern Family", "Sherlock", "The Office", "The Big Bang Theory"...Bazinga

Stand-up: George Carlin, Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly, Ricky Gervais, Robin Williams, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Jeni
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think it's better to say that I just spend a lot of time thinking. I'm really surprised my brain doesn't glow in dark with all the things that run through my head at any given time.
I sometimes tend to let my thoughts interrupt conversations I may be having. The reason being, if it's a relevant thought (ok, sometimes it's not), if I don't say it, the thought may not come back...or it will, but not for another 6 months...
On a typical Friday night I am
There's really no such thing as a typical Friday night for me. Well, that's not entirely true. At some point, I usually end up at my father's. My brother ends up there as well. And as luck would have it, my mom lives with my dad. Seriously! She pays him rent. Long story.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I do not like clowns. I'm not scared of them per se, I just don't like 'em...there is really no place for clowns...unless they're Batmans nemisis.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You think "Do you believe that dinosaurs existed?" is one of the funniest questions on here. However, if you don't believe dinosaurs existed (I've met a few of these people...they ARE out there) or you think that the earth is bigger than the sun or that the earth is no more than 10,000 years old or the evolution is "just a theory", just stop reading now, run away and go back to school. We won't get along.
If you know how to hold an intelligent conversation. I won't go into any details on this because if you're looking for the same thing, no explanation is really necessary.
If this stupid profile made you laugh or smile in any way. I mean, you read this far, didn't you?