Well, how should I describe myself? Two words: The absolute best! Okay, okay! That's three words. But, seriously, who's counting? Me! That's who's counting! If I wasn't, I wouldn't have known it was actually three words. Geez! Some people.

Anyway, My name is Joe and I'm a hardcore progressive/liberal. I'm ambitious, honest, nice, opinionated, and friendly to pretty much everybody.

I like bowling, board games, road trips, cards, going to places I've never been before, the park, geocaching, exercising, running, cooking, baking, hiking, camping, reading, the theatre, musicals, movies, learning new things, writing poetry and short stories, and discussing politics and philosophy.

Oh! I'm vegan. I really don't think I should have to list this here (it is mentioned in my "Details" section), but to make sure I'm not catching anyone off-guard I am mentioning it here as well.

P.S. - The few people I'm not too friendly toward:
If you are the type of person that is convinced someone is a terrorist because of their religion, do us both a favor and don't talk to me. If you are the type of person that is convinced that a person is intellectually or genetically inferior because of their ethnicity or sexual orientation, I'll be convinced you're a bigot. And, if you are the type of person that is convinced everyone should raise themselves up from their own bootstraps, I will think you are an arrogant, uncompassionate jerk that needs to develop some empathy and get a grip on reality.

One of my most current plans is to start a non-profit organization that teaches middle schoolers about english, math, and geopolitics through the use of board games.

Anyway, I work as a UPS supervisor. I have a bachelor's degree in political science and recently finished up a second bachelor's degree in economics last month. Currently, I am planning on either attending law school or pursuing a graduate degree in economics. Additionally, I have been trying to finish putting together a children's book I've written, and sell a board game I've created and patented. I've also been trying to start a political webshow. And, when I'm not doing those things, I like to write, work on teaching myself how to play the piano and clarinet, try to solidify my thoughts on a television program I hope to pitch, or attempt to perfect my bowling.

Bowling, sarcasm, debating, dancing, card games, karaoke (well, maybe not... but, I like to think so), saying random things that don't make a hell of a lot of sense (or dollars), and being totally awesome.

I don't know...I'm not them.

Favorite Music: I know this sounds cliché, but I like pretty much all kinds of music. Some of my favorite bands/musicians currently are Elton John, Billy Joel, Michael Jackson, and Hall and Oates. I mostly listen to 80s pop and 60s rock n' roll, but I listen to music ranging from The Suicide Machines and Rancid to Katy Perry and Ke$ha.

Favorite TV Shows: I don't really watch much television. And, if I am watching TV, it's probably the news. Some of my favorite news programs are Democracy Now, The Thom Hartmann Program, Rachel Maddow, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report.

Favorite Movies: My favorite movie of all time is "2001: A Space Odyssey", but I pretty much enjoy anything by Stanley Kubrick. Also, when it comes to movies, I can be amazingly critical; just a heads up.

Favorite Books: I'm pretty much reading all the time. I mostly read nonfiction, and I'll read anything by Thom Hartmann. Some of my favorite books include: Anything by Jonathan Safran Foer, Ishmael, Fast Food Nation, The Catcher in the Rye, Fahrenheit 451, and The Spirit Level.

Favorite Quote: I have a lot of them, but I'm currently pretty fond of this one:
"In these bodies we will live. In these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life." -Mumford and Sons

1) Oxygen
2) Water
3) Food
4) A Viable Atmosphere
5) Vital Organs
6) Company

I think a lot about politics, economics, human rights, animal rights, existence, and our perception of the universe.

I've also been spending a lot of time lately thinking about what defines one as intelligent, and how we use our perceived notion of what intelligence is to stratify society. I've been thinking about how a person's socioeconomic status is the biggest determinant on one's ability to perform well in the realm of academia, and what that says about our whole educational system in general. I've been thinking about how if a person doesn't know the difference between the words "there", "their", and "they're"; then whether that says more about a person's cognitive ability or more about a person's self-perception and psychological conditioning.

In addition to that, I'm also wondering if there is anyone else out there that realizes a pancake is the molecular opposite of a zombie, and if the two were to ever touch that the zombie would be instantly transported to another dimension. Thus, guaranteeing the safest place to hide during the upcoming zombie apocalypse would be an IHOP.

Oh...and about the possibility of Bill Cosby owning a castle made of femurs. He would have collected the bones during his time as the spokesman for Jell-o. The castle would be located in Antarctica, so he could make sure to keep his Pudding Pops frozen.

Working until about midnight, then hanging out with friends. We are either playing cards at a diner, taking random road trips, playing video games, or playing board games.

Don't know if this is really much of a secret, but I drive a Smart Car and I think it is totally rockin'.

In addition to that, I'm planning on learning the dance routine from Michael Jackson's 1982 Live Performance of Billie Jean, where he first introduced the moonwalk, and performing it on stage at a karaoke bar. It will be nothing short of totally badass. (Update: This goal has been accomplished, and like I said, it was nothing short of badass.)

Also, I own a pair of adult-sized Heely's. I know that it's hard to contain your jealousy. Such a reaction is understandable.

I also have a YouTube page that shows me making a complete ass of myself. If you want to check it out, here is a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3CaQWSWjdI&feature=g-upl&context=G2a5dee7AUAAAAAAABAA

you wanna make-out...or, make-in. Your choice. Either way, I'd be down with it.

Disclaimer - That's called a joke, people! Sure...it might not be that funny of one, but that's really up for personal preference. Now, don't get me wrong, making-out is fun and all, but I don't actually make-out with people I just met. I know this news probably comes to a great disappointment to most of you, but the doctors inform me that indiscriminate make-out sessions (despite the psychological benefits) might actually be detrimental to my health. Safety First!

Also, if you check out my profile, please feel free to make the first move. I've been kind of lazy about starting conversations lately, but I generally respond to those who take the time to say "hi".