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OneUse

23 M Lille, France

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.81m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and very serious about it
Sign
Virgo
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Okay), French (Fluently), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I studied philosophy three years because I wanted to do something that, while sounding prestigious, required basically zero work and a lot of bullshitting.

I am a clueless bumbling fucktard on the best days, and that's my claim to normality.

If you wrote in your profile that you are an "old soul", I will fight you irl. Unless you believe in reincarnation, you don't get to think you are magically born with some ancient and venerable wisdom.

My opinions are retarded and I would die defending them.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Expanding an ungodly amount of time and energy trying to piss off strangers on the internet. For free.

I am trying oh so desperatly to retrieve the quota of motivation and the package goals & passions (tm) which are allocated to all newborn babies by the tough fairy (whos training seal team 6 as a side gig to make ends meet), because apparently someone down the line messed up. Now you know why your old labrador won't die and train everyday to become a ballerina.

Pondering on why pretty things are often worthless.

Trying to exsude the same aura as track-suited backward cap-wearing deadbeats, std ridden sudanese whores, and that one hobo always peeing himself in the subway. All at once, but not really cooler because I smell okay and that's not gonna change.

Trembling in sheer animal lust.

Seems like trying is my word-totem.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being scared of everything most of the time I'm alive and looking like I'm in control of the situation. Faking that alpha-maleness bullshit, in other words.

Being offensive in a refreshing way.

Eating my words with a grain of salt.

Wallowing in a dense, sordid, vulgar, undeserved self-pity.

Writing overly long okcupid non dating profile.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My ego.

Protruding from the center of my forehead, twelve inches long, pulsating green and yellow alternatively, seeping grey goo intermittently from its base, conic, deeply unsettling.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Forgetting that my cute cat would, if I suddently became five inches (for reasons), torture me for hours on end in my own garden before abandoning my dislocated, still living body, for black birds to pick my eyes out.

That wind making you feel like the world is actually there for you, loves you and is softly rubbing you all over in a totally non sexual manner. Keep calm and file a restraining order against the world itself under the judging glare of weirdly aroused policemen calling the nearest psych ward.

That whole idea of a world slowly dying by getting cooked to perfection in the general near-indifference or quickly dying in a nuclear and cleansing and fairly disagreable fire full of radiation in the near general melting of all lifeforms born without a leaden carapace or being half-roach.

Touching my penis through my pants to make sure its there and I didnt dream of that life where a semi-conscious parasitic entity takes control of my brain on the regular, telling me to fuck things.

Unbearable lucidity of my own shitiness.

My dragon dildo.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How we should have an international game show about people of different countries competing in eating contests, with the winner choosing a patch of land a 100 square miles to nuke into oblivion. The ratings would be insane. The sales of iGeiger too.
Thats marketing for you people, take something that already exists, make it thinner, make it youthul, make it fuckable, sell it overpriced in repugnant barren absurdly white designish streamlined stores. Wait for people who wear simpsons shirts ironically to fester on it, above it, under it, near it, in front of it, that's it: YOU WON THE GAME OF LIFE.

That one conference from David Foster Wallace http://web.archive.org/web/20080213082423/http://www.marginalia.org/dfw_kenyon_commencement.html (you can skip to the middle).

Bush junior was elected. He was elected. Damn. What the fuck. Hitler too was elected, but let's be honest, he was one sexy little psychopathic minx, with that dang cute mustach clearly asking for it.
Unlike the uncharismatic oister, the most frighteningly accurate depiction of a really dumb baboon prancing around in a suit to ever disgrace the surface of the multiverse by its cheer, shameful, degrading, yuck yuck existence.

How hippies, gypsies, children, old people and animals mauled on the side of the road, (still faintly twitching from nerve induced mindfuckery) make me feel better about the slow burgeoning of a life of failure, bitterness, grudgingly conceded affections, missed opportunities, already wrinkled young regrets, deepened misunderstandings, obstructed communication channels, things done from fear, things done from anger, too few for love or the sake of human decency, too few for the priceless, the timeless, too few for what matters in the end (that's coming) and generally uncool lazyness, aimlessness, sloppyness, neckbeardness, masturbation in kleenexness, plus a fairly deliberate lack of swag.

How being both asexual and aromantic would be the dopest. I could stop giving a shit. FOREVER.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Writing new stuff on my okcupid blog. For none to see. IDGAF. So hardcore.

Using various medium to keep myself from reality. My man Pascal got it right:

'Nothing is so insufferable to man as to be completely at rest, without passions, without business, without diversion, without study. He then feels his nothingness, his forlornness, his insufficiency, his dependence, his weakness, his emptiness. There will immediately arise from the depth of his heart weariness, gloom, sadness, fretfulness, vexation, despair'.

Hating life passionately while gorging myself with bloodstream clogging fat food and moaning in sweet agony under my crumbs sprinkled neckbeard.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I read my horoscope with superstitious expectations then complain it isn't accurate like I predicted it wouldn't be. What a scam.

I have a micropenis. Like, 1 inch erect.

I am attracted to girls that look like my mother when she was young. You're disgusted? Imagine what I feel.

My life is shit. Scratch that, I am shit at life.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you didnt read that profile and think I am an annoying faggot.