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TheWugglyUmp

44 M Indian Orchard, MA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:15pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Buddhism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Transportation
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Introspective, analytical, intuitive, sensual. Literate, self-indulgent, untidy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Figuring out the human game. Which is not the same as learning how to play it.

I also play the guitar, shoot photographs, hunt for buried treasures, and make stuff out of clay.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I once wrote a piece of erotica based on the Twilight novels, since someone challenged me to do so. It's an alternative storyline, from when Edward had been sneaking into Bella's bedroom and watching her sleep, what he might have done if he hadn't been such an antediluvian fuddyduddy. Seen from his perspective.

At least one person has, as a result of reading this told me that I'm good at writing erotica.

I lie quietly beside you, watching your slow breathing, listening to your heartbeat and letting my body be filled with your scent of roses and musk. You tried to take your clothes off for me earlier today and I wouldn't let you, And now as I lie here watching you, I realize that I am in a prison of my own making. Actually I have known that for a long time, thinking that I didn't deserve anyone, that a monster like me was by nature something apart from the realm of love. But now that I have turned away your attempt to be intimate with me, I can see that I have brought you into my own prison with me, and now I see that all the meaning that I thought my prison had, has fallen into dust, and all that remains is that all beings always face the same choice, that they can say yes to love and light, or they can hide forever in the dark, thinking that all the meaning of life derives from the pain of old wounds that are never allowed to heal; and that the latter course is nothing but cowardice and a hollow, childish fabrication, and I find that there is simply no reason to think and be that way any more, and I am done with it.

So quietly, gently, I rise up into a kneeling position next to you. I pinch the collar of your old t-shirt between the thumb and index fingers of both hands, and tear it apart like a piece of rice paper, and quietly tear all the way down the front of it, and open the front of it, to reveal your stomach and tender young breasts. I decide to tear away the sleeves too, and free you of it completely. Then, starting just above the waistline of your old sweats, I rest my fingertips lightly on your tummy and run my fingertips lightly over your skin, which quivers under my touch, and I explore your breasts, your neck, the hollow of your collar bones, the soft skin of your arms. I rest my hand lightly on your breast, feeling its warm and soft shape, I tease your nipple with my fingertip. Then I lean forward and gently touch my cheek and lips to your stomach and breasts, and then your neck, and I am lost in you.

Then I quietly cut the waistband of your sweats with my teeth, and tear down the legs as I had with your shirt, and the the same with your panties, leaving you nude, in a pile of rags that had been your clothes a few minutes before. I put my hands between your knees, and gently, gently, gently ease your legs apart. Touching the skin of your inner thighs as lightly as I can, with my lips, I run my lips along their length, from your knees to your lovely little nest of hairs. With just one finger, I lightly caress your inner lips. I want devour you, but I make myself slow down, I make myself focus on being as gentle as possible. I rest my index fingers on your inner lips, and gently roll them apart, revealing your clitoris. I open my mouth and rest my tongue on it, and give it one long, slow, deep upward lick. You gasp and arch your back, and lightly touch my head with your and, as what I'm doing is right on the borderline of too hard, too much. But I slowly, slowly keep licking you, caressing your clit as decadently and luxuriantly as I can. I can hear your heart racing, your body is quivering with tension; your hands are poised above my head to push me away of it gets to be too much. And then finally you let go, your whole body convulses in waves, your legs lock around my head and I keep my tongue up against your clit, still moving just very slightly, so that your body convulses with something overwhelming, right on the very edge of unbearable pleasure and unbearable pain.

And then the waves subside, and you cover your face with your hands and laugh, and gradually catch your breath. I ask if you're all right.

Then you try to tear my clothes off but it doesn't work, so I help you to undress me and then I take a seat on the side of your bed. You straddle me, with your knees on the bed, and lower yourself onto my large, cold, and quite literally rock-hard cock. I put my arms around you and hold your body tightly up against me, and my body drinks in your heat and milky softness. And them we just rock quietly back and forth, with me deep inside you, lost in the warm, soft, wet, exquisite friction within. And them when it finally becomes unbearable, I squeeze you as tight as I think i can without injuring you, and explode inside you in a way the likes of which I have never known before, and then we rest our foreheads together as the tension melts away, and we fall asleep together in complete and utter warmth and peace.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My pale complexion, hypnotic eyes, low body temperature, and sharp teeth. Although that's often the last thing they notice about me as well.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have a weakness for vampire novels. I love Ann Rice and I just finished Deborah Harkness' All Souls Trilogy. I am also a fan of CJ Cherryh, JK Rowling, JRR Tolkien. And I like the Twilight novels, too, so there.

Forrest Gump, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Big Fish, Ed Wood, Rushmore, Bagdad Cafe, Army of Darkness, and the first two Harry Potter movies. I like a lot of films by Buster Keaton, Juzo Itami, Woody Allen, and Pedro Almodovar.

Farscape, Star Trek, and the Muppet Show.

The B-section of my musical taste includes Brahms, Bach, Beethoven, Dan Bern, and the Beatles.

Food is good.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Protein
Megapixels
Resolution
Creativity
Sunday mornings in bed making love
Guitars

How about six famous women I'd like to shag?

Drew Barrymore
Keira Knightley
Rachel Weisz
Hayden Panettiere
Morena Baccarin
Claudia Black

How about some artists and photographers I really like? I mean, is this site for Philistines or what?

Ansel Adams
Alfred Stieglitz
Edward Weston
Imogen Cunningham

Amadeo Modigliani
Vincent Van Gogh
Gustav Klimt
Aubrey Beardsley
Alphonse Mucha
Claude Monet
Piet Mondrian
Paul Klee
Salvador Dali
Georgia O'Keefe
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
It may not be the first thing people necessarily notice about me, but eventually everyone notices that I think a lot. I'll just say that if you encounter a person who is truly capable of questioning their beliefs, they will likely have a shorter list of them than the average person does.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Just Mostly-Dead.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Once, when asked by a Jehovah's Witness, what I thought the path to a true and lasting happiness was, I thought for a moment, and replied: "Physical Pleasures".
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–44
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I know that practically none of you are looking for casual hookups. It actually annoys the hell out of me that the term "casual sex" even exists, though for want of another term I have to list it among the things I'm looking for. If you are a woman who is very bright and very pretty, I have this dream that you would send me a message offering me a time, a place, and your body. I would show up with a selection of scented oils, and explain to every square millimeter of your body(if you don't already know) just why the term Casual Sex only has meaning for people who haven't the faintest inkling of what sex really is.