New Rule: you may not list your passport as one of the six things you could never do without unless you use it at least 4 times a year (do as many guys list their passport as essential, as girls do?). I have two passports (Mom is from England), and I'd love to be using them enough to claim them indispensable to me. But they're not. :(

I'm a good guy looking to be great for a good girl. So let's go. Tell me where:
http://www.si.edu/Events/Calendar/

I've got a graduate degree, a solid job, live in a cool neighborhood; didn't I hit the superficial yuppie trifecta? :)

Fine, truth is, I'm bored. I swear to God, Allah, or the prophet of your choice that I'm fun, funny, and absolute boyfriend-material.

And this is undoubtedly juvenile, but maybe you've got the same slice of humor as me, and so you respect my efforts to amuse myself at work:
https://sites.google.com/site/mydailytie/home

That said, who wants to come to Salvation Army on H Street NE with me on a Wednesday (50% off clothes), and we can drink some beers on H Street and you can help me choose ties?

I don’t care what you do, but I do have a thing for smart chicks. I’d love to meet a nice girl and go hiking in Rock Creek Park. I want to go with you on a night-time monument tour. Or go mini-golfing. Let's locate a volunteer activity to do together that actually makes some kind of difference. Let's play tennis. Or go bowling.

Apparently every woman in the DC area is sarcastic and probably looking for somebody to "explore the city" with ("partner-in-crime," anyone? We’re all looking for the proverbial partner-in-crime, with whom any stupid activity is genuinely fun just for the company). And, we all think we're "sarcastic."

I get up way too early 3 mornings a week for my running club, “Back On My Feet” ("a national nonprofit organization that is dedicated to creating independence and self-sufficiency within the homeless"; http://dc.backonmyfeet.org/dc-landing.html). And truthfully, I don't feel all that politically active, but my boss suggested I check out “Drinking Liberally,” and when I learned DC had no chapter, I co-started one. And you should come!
http://livingliberally.org/drinking/chapters/DC

Even if not that political, I do like to write, and when Facebook published a list of the “40 Most Shared Political Articles” on all of Facebook in 2011, one of my Huffington Post comedy pieces was #11, and I thought that was pretty cool: http://allfacebook.com/facebook-political-articles_b70575

I dare you to message me, tell me to buy you a beer (or margaritas?) tomorrow, and then tomorrow drink your beer and tell me about you.

Working that 9 to 5 (8:30-5) in government life, taking in the odd exhibit on the Mall. Life would be even cooler with a couple more friends in DC. And an intelligent, nice girl to take to a free concert at the Kennedy Center or any of a dozen Smithsonians (we'll trick ourselves into believing we're "cultured").

I'll tell you what I'm not really good at: coming up with clever, flowery BS to answer questions like this. I guess I'm a good writer, as sexy as that is. But, if I was really a good writer, I suppose I'd be better at coming up with clever, flowery BS to answer questions like this. Hmmmm... it's a conundrum.

Clearly my devastating good looks or striking intellect.

Let's eat a burrito from Chipotle and watch The Big Lebowski. And read The God Delusion; an insightful and entertaining book.

Best sentence ever written (but you gotta read the book--do you know which one?-- to fully appreciate this, the novel's final sentence):
"Sounds of a San Juan night, drifting across the city through layers of humid air; sounds of life and movement, people getting ready and people giving up, the sound of hope and
the sound of hanging on, and behind them all, the quiet, deadly ticking of a thousand hungry clocks, the lonely sound of time passing in the long Caribbean night."

As far as TV. West Wing and Scrubs are both amazing. Oh, it didn't ask about TV, did it?

Turns out I like hummus.

Besides you, I have absolutely no idea. =)
[I think I use too many emoticons, so should that be one of my six?]

I spend between 30 and 40 percent of my free time waxing on the spectacular practical bargain air conditioning is. I think I paid $50 for the used window unit I inherited when I moved into my apartment 2 years ago. On a DC summer night, I would pay at least $25 to spend that night in a cool bedroom rather than an AC-less sauna. Which means my $50 investment has probably paid off better than any I've made in my life, discounting previous air conditioning purchases. But you know what, at church, I'll bet they rarely praise Jesus for air conditioning, huh? :(
I spend the rest of my time marveling at how few rules of grammar I know for a guy with an MFA in Writing, whose job title is "Writer/Editor."
And I want to know who concluded that cats have such bad grammar.

I would rather take a walk around Dupont right now, or take my girl mini-golfing, or play pool, or go to E Street Theatre, or even Red Box. How about the zoo?

It's uncommonly embarrassing, at age 33, but my self-defeating addiction to energy drinks and junk food results in a fairly frequently oily/imperfect complexion. =(

And equally seriously, bet less troublesome: Since I left the private sector for government, I think I am having genuine existential (and I admit: I do not know what "existential" means) issues, on a daily basis, trying to decide if I should put 1 or 2 spaces between sentences. I truly can't decide, and I really do think about it more than I want to admit.

Also: I said the I'm an atheist on this profile, but, aargh, matey, that isn't exactly true. I am a dedicated pastafarian. ;)

If you are the only girl left who doesn't have her ears pierced.

You should message me if, like myself, you have never seen a single episode of "Lost," but are curious and want to start watching the show from Episode 1, Season 1.

If you want to help me figure out how to finish off my Rubik’s Cube, let’s talk. If you know what "CVS" stands for, please tell me?

If you have a preference for the serial comma, or not, I really would like to know your reasoning. And I am similarly and genuinely curious to hear your reasoning on 1 vs. 2 spaces between sentence. Is that nerdy? I didn't say I really cared, I'm just intrigued to know why. =)

You should also say hello if you're not boring. If you actually want to meet people. If you honestly read these stupid profiles before just jumping to the photos, e-mail me now and tell me to buy you a beer tomorrow night. If you're an intelligent girl who wants to meet a good guy. If you're politically liberal and find organized religion to be silly. If you want to teach me how to play the piano. Or the acoustic guitar. And if you play CalvinBall, I want to meet you.