"He took his vorpal sword in hand:
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back. "

That should scare off the conservative, boring, and, stupid he thought....

This profile is a perfect example of what happens when you write something at odd times in between writing other things, drinking, doing maths and the odd handstand.

Fair warning: Contents contain ascerbicism, satire, theoretical physics, and on ocassion, is actually Bogatyr.

Short version: I like books, art, classical philosophy, physical culture (look that up if you don't know what it means), drinking, cigarettes, coffee, dancing, doing gymnastics while drunk, science and...things like that.

Right now I'm listening to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4WYnSFqh6k

Before that this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpMNXEY_tio

I'm trying to get my doctorate back together, which is slow going at the moment. My doctorate is in theoretical astrophysics. Theoretically. That's as short a version as you're likely to get and thus, as it is a short version, it doesn't really convey much at all.

My academically career is 'laughably fucked' at the moment, and I'm trying to change that.

Below is the longer version, which as I've been told, is really fucking long.

Three quotes for you, some people get the first, very few have worked out the second, and the third is new.

"I have my thousand yard stare. And I carry a lot of scars. I carry, a lot of scars."

If you know what book that's from, I'll be glad you've read it and glad you remembered.

"God's eyes spark vermillion, while his feet throw up rough clods of Earth to drown the aspirations of the willing. Oh how few avoid those hammering clods of Earth to reach the vermillion sparks!"

If you know who wrote that, I will be VERY fucking impressed.

"We didn't know we were playing with fire. We were young, and it was bright and warm, and it wasn't until we'd burned those precious parts of ourselves we could never get back to ash, that we realised what we'd done."

If you know who wrote the third one, I will also be impressed.

I make no promises as regards to conforming to social norms that I believe are inherently insipid, pernicious and deceptive. I would far rather be hated for that which I am, than loved for that which I am not.

As a matter of fact, I tend to take a well aimed and quite powerful kick at standard models of conformity to both the left and the right. This helps to fit in with the ideal model of behaviour according to Confucious where it is best to be loved by the good and hated by the wicked.

Of course, in modern times wicked equates to good, but that's the problem with translating two thousand year old Chinese texts into modern English, some people miss the meaning.

In this section, a lot of people lie because everyone is playing some retarded game where mutual lies and veneer met, to create an interaction based on nothing but bullshit.

Fuck that, for an amateur joke quite frankly.

I would FAR rather you showed me the darker, rougher, worst parts of who you are, than shower me with flowery bullshit. Show me who you really are, and I will love you for your honesty. Hide behind social veneers comprised of glib aphorisms, and I will despise you for your lies.

Caveat: Explicitly, I mean be honest about yourself. Not deliver a bitchy comment about me that you think makes you honest when really, if you did that, I'd just think you were a fucking idiot.

I do my best not to be stupider than I have to be, and that's something.

I think.

If you have 'love to laugh' on your profile, please, please, please....slap yourself. That may well be the dumbest phrase ever to appear on the internet.

If you enjoyed the book "Eat, Pray, Love" please, please, please, punch yourself in the face as hard as you possibly fucking can, because you clearly believe that being a shallow, self-indulgent, borderline retarded whore is a good way to live your life.

No. There is no room for vacillation on that one.

As Bill Hicks said, I don't mean to come across as cold, bitter, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes across.

But...I can no longer even pretend to make an attempt at civility with the cavalierly braindead, and especially those who don a veneer of 'spirituality' to cloak the rot in their souls...well. "Acerbic" would be a vast understatement as regards my response to such people.

Things changed, but here's something I stick by.

I see no reason that science, literature and exercise are mutually exclusive. On more than one occasion I have had someone make the remark that what I do (present tense again!) is surprising considering how I look. Once many moons ago a girl at a cafe asked me what I was reading, when I replied "Gargantua and Pantagruel" she then asked who it was by. I explained that it was by Rabelais, a fifteenth century French monk. She said "Oh! I wouldn't have guessed that!" When I asked her why that was...she basically said that she couldn't conceive of someone with biceps being erudite as well. I felt like pouring my coffee slowly into her lap while explaining the virtues of not making snap judgements based on people's appearance.

Instead I told her to fuck off. Because I'm a bit like that really...

I will not walk small to spare your feelings. I don't mean to make people feel insecure or intimidate people (most of the time) but apparently I do.

So, I'm currently working out how to get back my doctoral research in order, or whether to say "Fuck it." and become a mercenary war lord in the third world or something.

I am doing a handstand, throwing a knife, and reading a book.

The short version is that I'm seeking eudaimonia while frequently engaging in bouts of aristeia.

The longer version is below, as like everything else on my page, it really is quite long.

Very weird things most of the time. I used to burst into flame every now and then and fight crime in between working towards my doctorate in theoretical astrophysics. Not that the flame helped the crime fighting, just that it was kind of rad. Well okay. It WAS rad.

I fight crime once again actually. No really, I do. In very weird ways. Before you think that's a cool thing, ask yourself if you'd actually like to know Batman. In theory, most people would, but when meth addicts on the street start howling and attacking people and Batman springs into action, most people in real life find that disturbing.

I don't look for trouble, but when you go out on a regular basis, well. Shit does happen basically. So if you're not comfortable being around a man that actually does something when shit goes south instead of standing around like a gawping fish saying "That's so terrible!" You probably won't like me all that much.

The thing is, I took the case of Kitty Geonvese to heart, and it hardened my resolve to never, ever, ever, ever be like one of those people who did nothing.

Me? I do something.

I mention this only because I can't stand it when a chick jogs my sword arm as shit is about to go down.

If you're one of those laughable idiots that think "Real heroes walk away." Go back to your fucking decafe soy latte.

So, I was doing a lot of stuff, now I'm basically trying to work out how to get back to doing all the things I was doing, as well as a few other things I want to do.

But if you've ever tried to get funding for a scientific invention, you'll know just how slow and agonising that process really is.

I tend to drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, paint with ink, look up at the sky and wonder what's the next vaguely plausible avenue to try to get the projects I want to get off the ground from dreams into reality.

I spend more time than I should doing gymnastic kind of stuff at Bondi, because I like the beach, I like exercise and it gives me something to do in between bashing my head against the funding wall barrier.

If you have any great ideas on how to get funding for science, film, documentaries or any of the things I'd like to be doing, by all means, let me know.

A wide variety of things. I've been told by many people that I have a natural talent, for having a natural talent.

The thing is, if you learn how to learn, you learn how to get good at many things. That's quite key. If you want to be good at many things yourself, learn how to get good at one thing and apply the lessons you learned there to other things.

The key is (amongst many keys) patience, patience, and more patience. Those who become fatigued and demoralised by not being good at something the first time they try it, will never get anywhere.

Why people expect that they'll be good at something radically different to anything they've done before the first time they try it, is a baffling mystery in and of itself.

Personally, it makes me angry not to be good at something so I practice until I am good at it.

Some of the things I'm really good at are maths, physics, writing, art, philosophy, cooking, massage, sword work and general unarmed combat style things and anything generally physical or cerebral.

I've been told this pisses some people off. Hey, I started reading the encyclopaedia when I was eight and I've spent my entire life acquiring all the skills I can. Instead of getting pissy at me because I'm good at science and the humanities and physical culture, go and learn how to do them yourself.

Get a copy of University Physics and The Molecular Nature of Matter and Change and that will give you a good grounding in basic science. Sure, it will take years, but that's the point. It takes time.

Get a canvas and some paint, and practice. Sure, it takes years, but that's the point. It takes time.

Exercise, eat well and train hard and you'll become physically capable.

Read the great works of philosophy, spend time training in the mental disciplines and contemplate things, and you'll gain mental faculties you never dreamed existed.

Write frequently and concentrate on getting better. Again, it takes time.

Or, you can just say fuck all of that and call me a prick or something.

Hard to say. Below is what people sometimes notice.

My eyes, jawline and general fiery demeanour. Seriously, sometimes fire actually radiates from me and lightning sparks from my eyes.

Then people were all like "What's with the lightning?" then I was all like "What's with the stupid?" *ZOORCH!*

And that was the end of that really.

Now?

Hard to say. It depends on the person and the time. Usually people notice the breadth of my shoulders due to all the gymnastics style things, or that I have what some call a hard face.

As well as handstands in odd places obviously. People often notice when I do gymnastics in bars while drunk as it's slightly odd, but I say, the more handstands the better.

Although what people often notice is that I am very, very, very passionate about the things I talk about.

Biting Elbows is my current cross genre group. The short films to their music are nothing short of staggeringly good, and the music definitely kicks it.

Stampede.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYm-dT24iRY

Bad Motherfucker.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgox84KE7iY

Below is a long section, like how every other section I have is long, only some of them are longer for no apparent reason.

This is because I often edit while drinking. So much for write drunk edit sober...

My recommendations on this section are as follows. This isn't a list of my favourite things. This is a list of things you've probably or possibly, never read, seen, heard or eaten. I'd rather you recommend to me something I haven't done, than tell me that we both like David Bowie and Mervyn Peake.

EVERYONE likes David Bowie. That doesn't mean we have a deep spiritual connection okay? Okay. Good. Glad we've settled that issue.

Yes, we've all read Camus and though we were deep. We've all watched arthouse and thought we were avant garde. We've all done all of those things...and here we are, all the same.

I could list all the right things, but...fuck that. This is whatever I felt like doing at the time.

THOUGHTS ON COOL.

There's all the difference in the world between doing something because it is cool and doing it to 'be' cool. If you do it for the former rather than the latter, we'll probably get along.

If you do it for the latter rather than the former, and you're a Frankie magazine girl, into vegan food, Eat, Pray, Love and 'always being positive' we probably won't.

If you're not a Frankie Magazine kind of girl, you may have wondered why it is that so many people who do things that are empircally good are such fuckwits. This principle is why.

This is why the eastern suburbs yoga set are such fucking dicks.

This is why so many people who do rock climbing or Capoeria are such utter wankers.

This is why people who do all of these inherently good things are such complete lunchboxes.

Because they're doing it to be cool rather than because it is cool, and thus they cloak themselves with a veneer of something that matters but there's nothing good underneath that cloak.

THINGS I FIND AMAZING

KLF once burned a million pounds. They took a million pounds in cash, flew to an island off the coast, and just straight up shoveled it into an incinerator.

If you get why that's amazing, I'll like you at least a little.

Where my tastes lie...are far, far, far beyond where the wild things are. I'm going to edit this section at some point, because it's overly long and in my view not what I want it to be at the moment.

AREAS OF KNOWLEDGE

Science in general, but physics and astrophysics in partcular. Note: If you send me a message about "What The Bleep Do We know?" I will start swearing immediately.

History both ancient and modern, with deeper knowledge on ancient Rome, ancient Greece, ancient Egypt, ancient China and Japan, Mongolian expansion, movement of various peoples, ancient architecture, engineering and science, asia in general and the Crusades.

Politcal and economic theory. I know a lot about this. To the point where I once tore great ragged chunks of Barry O'Farrel before he became premier of NSW and many others. My views on political and economic theory have led to the Liberals calling me a Communist, Labor calling me a Liberal, the Socialist Alternative calling me Zionist lobbyist, and the other side calling me a facist/Nazi. It's interesting to be in the middle on all of these things sometimes.

Philosophy. I have a particular interest in the philosophers of antiquity and post modernist philosophy tends to make me swear quite a lot. It's beyond retarded. I have a special warm fire I stoke in my heart for objectivists/Ayn Rand fans. I tend to bring this fire out when they appear and pour it slowly over the ideals and leave behind nothing but ash and tears.

Because fuck Ayn Rand, seriously.

MUSIC THE FIRST PART BECAUSE THIS PROFILE IS FUCKING LONG AND I HAVEN'T EDITED IT.

Scroobius Pip. I highly recommend Scroobius Pip for people who think. For people who don't like to think, go back to whatever it was you were doing and as Snog said "Do not attempt to think, or panic may occur."

Introdiction-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=q_Gh8TWpQE8

If the bad times are coming, let them come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&v=QJ8TzuqpSQs&NR=1

The Struggle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3HCXh9WQSo&feature=relmfu

Music at the moment -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGoxmrMUY1k

I was listening to this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2eiPtW1zeE

And before that, this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2CpcLvc90M

Ladytron, Velvet Acid Christ, Kavinsky, obscure electronic music in general, sixties psychedlic, and Brit Pop. Weird, but there you have it. I listen to a lot of music of all different genres, but this is what is grabbing me at the moment. Hawkwind, Juno Reactor, Astral Projection, and lots of psychedelic music whether it be more modern psytrance or older psychedelic rock like the aforemnetiond Hawkwind.

BOOKS

Market Forces by Richard Morgan. Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche. The Forever War by Joe Haldeman. The Rediscovery of Man by Cordwainer Smith. Wolfbane by Cm Kornbluth and Frederick Pohl. Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, if you haven't read that, I highly recommend it. Partly because the description Watson gives of Holmes fits me remarkably well, except I know very little about the clay in the area surrounding London and quite a lot about astrophysics.

Unlike Sherlock Holmes however, I do not inject cocaine or morphine. I do know how to box, wrestle, and fence, just like he does however.

Fun fact. Sherlock Holmes practiced a martial art known as Bartitsu, which has a fascinating history. I recommend looking it up.

MORE BOOKS: The new wave of quality Science Fiction and Fantasy, if it can be called that.

Steven Erikson, Joe Abercrombie, Neal Asher, and oddly, Brent Weeks.

Brent Weeks has taken a very serious step up in terms of quality with The Blinding Knife. Before that, he was fun to read, but not exactly all that deep. The Blinding Knife however...is taking it to a new level.

Oh, if you're one of those people that dismisses fantasy or science fiction on genre terms alone, I feel a bit sorry for you because you're missing out on some of the finest authors today.

Also, Science Fiction attracts more PhDs, than any other genre for a reason.

When people stop reading science fiction, it's generally because they stop looking forward to the future.

That's a mistake in my view.

PHILOSOPHERS

I hope everyone has read Nietzsche,Wittgenstein, Plato and Atristotle. Other recommendations of mine you may not have read are or come across are:

Lucretius, Diogenes, Heraclitus, Senneca, Cicero, Tacitus, Ptahhotep, Rick Roderick.

MOVIES.

Repo Man. They Live. Big Trouble In Little China. JCVD. A biopic about Jean Claude Van Damme. Yes. Really. The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The Eighth Dimension. Network. Bullworth. Brazil. God Bless America. Six String Samurai.

Obviously, this is where people tend to put David Lynch in general and Twin Peaks in particular. In my world, I assume everyone is conversant with those anyway, but hey, I may be wrong.

MUSIC.

This.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV_3Dpw-BRY&feature=related

I can't believe I have to mention this...but Vivaldi's Four Seasons. I view this as a bit like finding out that someone hasn't listened to The Doors or something. I thought everyone had. Apparently not.

So. Vivaldi's Four Seasons. Personally I like Winter, Summer and Autumn. I think Spring however, is more than a little bit shit.

Tsukioka Yukiko, in particular Kuzunoha no Kowakare and Taiko drumming. Mongolian or Tuvan Throat Singing and Horse Fiddling.I know. That sounds weird but it means fiddle as in that thing like a violin. Taiko Drumming. Someone said that I put these things in to be cool, and I said they were ridiculous. I do listen to hose things, if you don't, try it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkYYYew8CUI&feature=related

ART

Why is there no art section on this fucking place?

Some artists I like are Caravaggio, Klimt, Rembrandt, Monet, Salvador Dali (whom everyone loves anyway), Jackson Pollock, and fuck, so many, many, many more.

I'm also quite a fan of Soviet era propaganda art even though I probably shouldn't be given the barbarity it conveyed, but those North Korean propaganda paintings are so fucked up I can't help but love them.

I once heard someone make a sneering remark regarding The Great Wave Off Kanagawa by Hokusai. I told them to shut the fuck up. I can't stand art wankers that deride whatever is well known and laud the obscure simply for those two reasons.

Popular does not always mean crap, and obscure does not always mean good.

FOOD.

Moules frites, beef carpaccio, and...hrmm. Fuck it. Take a walk around and try something new.

Things you say you don't like. If you're not allergic to it, try eating everything you've previously said you don't like. You might find that you don't mind it half as much as you pretend you do.

Those who limit themselves by useless barriers are fools. Placing a barrier on what you can experience for no reason...is fucking crazy.

You don't like tomatoes you say? Bullshit. Try it again. And again. And again. And again. Until you have no problem with it at all.

Why reveal this? It's like Superman telling everyone he's not too keen on a Kryptonite lunch.

Things most people outside of the realms of physics wouldn't even vaguely comprehend. Some people get cranky when I point that out, and I find that strange. I don't get cranky when people say that I can't speak Icelandic, yet somehow people think they're going to be able to understand theoretical physics without a science degree.

To give you a vague idea of how complicated it can all get, have a look at this.

http://www.htwins.net/scale2/

At the moment? The fundamental nature of human interactions, what the hell is wrong with some people, and how to get my doctorate back together.

If you want to know about my doctorate...read the below.
Other than that I think about plasma, neturon stars, super massive black holes, active galactic nuclei, astrophysical plasmas, space plasmas, magnetic fields, magnetic shear, quantum field theory, quantum electrodynamics, quantum chromodynamics, classical electrodynamics in relation to quantum electrodynamics, scale invariance, natural units, Hamiltonians, Lagrangians, plasma, so much plasma, the magnetic field of neturon stars, the Chandraskar limit, the Tolman–Oppenheimer–Volkoff limit, mass pressure, ram pressure, special relativity in the context of accelerated charged particles in astrophysical and space plasmas, relativistic plasma mechanics, quantum kinetic plasmas, many body simulation in the context of astrophysical plasmas, accretion disks, solar wind, black hole winds, and a lot of things related to all of those things and more that most people outside of the realm of physics or advanced mathematics probably wouldn't understand.

Now I'm also spending a bit of time thinking about the difference between neutron degeneracy pressure and electron degeneracy pressure and at the moment, I really don't know what either of those two things mean.

I've used both phrases while giving talks, but honestly, at the moment I have no idea what they mean. It's a minor aspect of the ocean of science that I'm involved in, but I still have to work it out...or at least know enough that I can bullshit convincingly.

Because that, is how science really works.

But hey, you can look up each of those terms in turn and read about each of them for about an hour each and you'll have a vague grasp of it.

Should only take you about a month if you're honest.

No Friday nights are typical anymore. Before, it was research, go to training, then drink. Now? No such thing, as typical.

The most private thing probably, is that on the one hand I'm trying to avoid ending up as the smartest man on the cinder, and on the other, ending up at the point where metaphorically, I fall in love with a pigeon that I think has lasers coming out of its eyes.

Those are both references, obviously. I'm a bit disappointed that thus far, no one has understood recognised either of those.

I get compared to fictional characters allllllllll the time.

Deep down, the truth is...I'd rather make rock not war. But when you're built for war, your telos calls quite strongly. Again, trying to avoid ending up as the smartest man on the cinder. Mein gott in himmel, surely there must be someone that gets that reference?

No?

Nein wie dich fress...ich zum Fruhstuck....

Anyway. Here's some Blue Oyster Cult.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oa4iwGoP5U

No. I am not like Sheldon Cooper. For one, he isn't that bright. For two, he's a fucking string theorist and fuck string theory. For three, he clearly hasn't heard of a pushup. Four, argggh, physicists aren't really like that. Five, yes, I do get why some people think the character was based on a socially inept non-athletic version of me in that I also know something about a great deal of subjects.

In case you can't tell, the Sheldon Cooper one irritates me the most.

I do somewhat resemble the literary version of Sherlock Holmes, particularly as regards the boxing, wrestling, swordplay, and preference for cigarettes, alcohol and other things.

What, you didn't know that Sherlock Holmes hit the good stuff? Well. Clearly, you haven't read much of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

If you exercise, smoke, drink heavily, drive a fast car and are into good music while also being intelligent...sign me up for fucking seven.

Seriously, seven. I will have seven of you.

If you have tertiary level mathematics or above and know how to throw knives, you get serious bonus points.

No fascists thanks, I have functioning synapses. If you're a fascist of either the left or right variety, please fuck off.

I'm pro-humanity, anti-corporate, anti-leftard, anti-right wing deathbeast.

If you're pro multinational corporations fucking up the world, pro leftarded reductions of civil liberties, or pro right wing deathbeastery like destroying government ownership of vital infrastructure, we're probably not going to get along very well.

Yes. This does mean I oppose moronitude on both sides of the polictical spectrum, but no, it does not mean I'm pro anarchy or libertarianism.

Libertarianism is just anarchy for rich people anyway.

Caveat: Being insane past the point of reason, or one of those people that thinks that being wild=being a human crap, you are disqualified.

Who can say? Whatever reason you have for messaging me, is your reason.

I have to say though, I'm not interested in messages from polygamous, polyamorous, or 'available' people.

If you have a genuine question regarding science in general, physics in particular, ancient history, modern history, geo-politics, comparative religion, or the state of the world in general and how we ended up in the mess we are in today, I'm usually happy to answer.

I should add yet another caveat to this, while I am happy generally speaking to answer any question you may have on comparative religion and philosophy, that doesn't mean that you're necessarily going to like my answers. As the saying goes, everyone loves honesty except when they are confronted with the truth.

ADDENDUM: If you're going to tell me all about your zombie apocalypse survival plan and you don't work out, I will mock you horribly. I'll be right to do so, but you'll probably get upset.

So. Don't message me telling me about your apocalypse plan, zombie or otherwise, unless you engage in physical training. For to plan for a cataclysmic event while being woefully out of shape isn't exactly taking all things into account now is it?

NO REALLY, I WILL MOCK YOU AND YOU WILL GET UPSET You will particularly get upset if you say guns are stupid because of something moronic you watched on the internet, or how being physically fit doesn't matter, or if you are truly stupid enough to say that some bullshit melee weapon is a good idea because you read a stupid book, or if you say flamethrowers are a bad bet.

I'll be right to mock you if you say any of those things, and you'll get upset.

So, consider carefully.