Ok so this profile has not been updated in almost four years so I felt it was time to update this somewhat to reflect the prodigious changes that have occurred in my inglorious life thus far. I wish I could describe it with the aplomb of a Dr. Evil (i.e., web-toes, low-grade narcolepsy, penchant for buggery, etc) but I am not that gifted when it comes to speech, thus these simple words will have to suffice. Name's Osei but I rarely ever get called that, so usually I go by O. So I've been on OKC for longer than I'd like to admit (i.e., I remember the spark connection) but I can't quit cos the quizzes on here are funny as heck! (or that I'm secretly a loser but who cares) Anyways this is the part where I talk about myself and as you can tell by the rambling, there really isn't much to say about me. I am O and there isn't much else to know about me. Well actually that isn't true. I can tell you what I hate about sites like this. Look, for the most part, this is a DATING site... you are going to get random and 'weird' people trying to talk to you. Those people do not think they are either random and/or weird, thus stating 'no creepy guys' isn't gonna stop someone writing to you. I mean who the hell views themselves as a loon-a-tack? Thats just one of the many pet peeves I have but enough of that. Lets keep this moving... or not...

ok ... lets bring it back a bit because OKC has required me to expand my essay by 640 or so more characters to improve my standing to 94% ... thats a chump challenge ... so here goes ... well I believe I should forewarn people that for the most part I am not looking for the One or even a date per se ... I mean come on now who the hell looks at the profile of someone in Estonia for a date, when they live in Iraq? So I think we should all use a wee bit of restraint when we get upset and reply to harmless little questions people from far away send us. On a side note ... if I DO find an attractive girl that wants to kick it... sure... why not? I don't think its a crime... is it? well besides the obvious entrapment "I'm actually 14 years old" set up by Dateline ... but thats another matter

since I'm too lazy/vain to properly edit this, so I'm just gonna tack it on here as my 08 edit. I am so proud that I have only edited this profile 5 times in 4+ years. Anywhose, as you can probably guess my sense of self is OFF the Richter scale but don't confuse my confidence w/arrogance b/c, with every word we say, we are one syllable away from being perceived as a sage or the village idiot but I digress. Back to the awesomness that is really me! I am going to have fun with this till I drop! Thank you for stopping by, you stay classy! If that doesn't work for you, you stay grimy! And if THAT doesn't also work, well then piss off, I have nothing else for you

Serving in the United states Air Force. I have found out that living in Santa Maria, California is not as bad as living in Rosemont/Lancaster Ca. Those guys at Edwards AFB have it worse!

But then again oh well there are places I'm sure that are far worse.... I mean have you ever opened a national geographic magazine? Good G_d almighty! Those people sho nuff don't look like they are having fun do they?.... well I think this about does it for a bs entry for the day because clearly you know I don't care what I'm saying here right now and all this will be eventually deleted so enjoy this while its still up party people... enjoy it dammit! oh and btw I was wondering whose bright idea was this? Don't you see that some people are hypercompetitve... seriously..... its starting to wreck my marriage... oh wait still single... wooooohoooooo

interests include trying to game the system

Memorizing.... is that even a talent?

So I need to expand my profile again, so I am left w/no choice but to rant again, so here goes some more gibberish. OK folks, how hard is it do a self summary? They aren't asking for your memoirs, they aren't asking you to write an autobiography and they aren't asking you to go on a long rant about yourself. All you need to do is something about yourself. You don't need to go into details if you don't want to, no one is forcing you to. Stop saying; "I don't know where to start" or how hard self summaries are hard. They really aren't; watch how I do it in a few lines. "Hi, my name is O and I'm a major jerk!" ... see in less than a line I summed myself up so well. Lets try again; "hi, my name is O, I've been hurt so many times that now I've got no standards left when it concerns the women I date" .... ooo thats fun lets try another one! "Hi, my name is O and everything I have written here is pretty much a distortion of the truth and it'll take more to learn about me" ;)

I don't look military. You should hear me speak at times. I have mastered the art of the sacred and the profane. I can speak like an erudite scholar but I can also speak like an urban poet if you catch my drift. Actually the first thing people notice is how stunningly similar I look like to my picture.

interests include trying to game the system

These are the best three books Ive ever read, bar none; the Bible by many; A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole (possibly the greatest work of humorous fiction); The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli. There are others, like the Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged and Roots and Anthills of the Savannah and anything by Faulkner etc but those first three ... cant go wrong... as for music.... well I'll put it like this I listen both for the beats as well as the dope rhymes emcees drop (btw Nelly is a singer not a rapper) hate rap love Hip Hop. All-time (vocal) mix tape ... the Eagles and "Hotel California". "Protect Ya Neck" by the Wu. "Lucifer" or "reasonable Doubt" by Jay-Z. Frank Sintra, "Under My Skin" and "Send in the Clowns". Sam and Dave "Soul Man". The Godfather of Soul with "Say it Loud". The Beatles "the Long and Winding Road". The Rolling Stones w/"Time Is On My Side". T.I. doing "Be Easy". 2Pac throwin "All Eyez On Me" and "Hit Em Up".Biggie "Playa Hater". Paster Troy "Vice Versa". Trick Daddy "Amerikkka". Delibes's "Flower Song" from the Opera Lakme. Puccini's "Nessun Dorma" from the opera Turnandot. Sam Cooke "Change is Gonna Come". Slick Rick "Children's Story". However, no personal CD is ever complete, without Frankie baby doing "My Way" as the outro. As for movies, personal top 5 and in that order: 1) Godfather I (undisputed greatest movie of all time) 1b) Godfather II (see me for rationale). 2)Coming to America. 3) X. 4) The Lion King. 5) Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Yo Juice in the Hood. As far as food goes, I'm a simple soul so there isn't much that I wouldn't eat.

edited out by the good folks of the National Security Agency for breach of Federal Secrets Act

How Pinky and the Brain got canceled and yet... somehow... [insert inane TV show] is still on TV

ed note: Both the shows that were once referenced here are now long gone, thanks be to G_d!

going to see my local bondsman, so he is at the ready to come get me on monday morning

I once thought I was the second sexiest man in the world, but then I woke up from that nightmare and realized that I still had my title as #1

you want to. I mean, if you've read this much, you might as well tell me what you think. Its only fair and polite, you jackass. I would message you if I read yours this far, and I usually do, although the creators of this site have told me to cease and desist in my sending of 300 messages to the same person in one day. Seriously though, I don't care who writes to me, black, red, yellow, brown, heterosexual, transsexual, homosexual, catholic, atheist, heathen, muslim, Jew, nosepicker, ass scratcher, earwax flicker,bully, bullied, debtor, tax collector, crook, policeman, athlete, slob, Marine, pacifist or ANYONE I forgot! Toodles