"We are the Otters of the universe."- Richard Bach
"Straights only marriage is like whites only water fountains." - me
"The universe is not made of molecules; it is made of stories." - attributed to the Talmud
"I've never seen you be a douche." -- a real life friend of mine
"Fiery blue eyes and a 'fuck-yeah, let's do it' attitude."
More so than many, I am difficult to summarize. I'm not just a "mechanic who likes to fly fish and watch hockey" or a "scuba-diving transsexual who wants to try haggis and and likes to grow aspidistras." I'm actually none of those things, although scuba diving has always attracted me; I'm more like to date a mechanic than to be one, although I can hold forth extemporaneously on the societal impact of the internal combustion engine.
I grew up on a carnival (really), traveled the world in a tin can full of stinky dudes (it was, however, the USS Enterprise, the sheer geekery which sustained me through much of the squalid oppression and is still worthy of a -- manly -- "squeeee").
I read a lot, ponder a lot, write a lot (compared to most folk), helped build the Internet (me and Al Gore... again, though, "really"), and am currently working towards a PhD (probably subaquatic alveus-texendis by the time I'm actually admitted - and yes, I probably have the grammar incorrect.) Ostensibly something in the realm of Depth Psychology and Archetypal Mythology. In the past few years I've produced a Shakespeare festival, founded a sustainability-themed charter public high school (makes the farmer's market I'm currently working to found now seem a little dinky), taken my daughter to her first day of high school. I also lead dream circles, work in tangible ways (and, perhaps, some not so tangible) to heal the Earth and our human relationship with it. For fun and profit, I coach women going back to work after an extended absence (like from being at home with their children) on how to get their professional mojo back. I only do this on a small scale, and only with a formal agreement in place -- I won't try to randomly coach someone I meet. It takes up too much space in my brain!)
As you can see, my life can quite full although I hate the word "busy" and how it's crept in the American vocabulary as a synonym for "engaged full-time in socially sanctioned activities in the pursuit of status or money." My own strategies regarding status or money are quite eccentric, contrarian, and episodic -- ramen today, sashimi and lobster when the grant checks arrive or I am able to pull a magic money-bunny out of a hat. Having climbed to a six-figure income in two different industries, I appreciate having the scratch to eat out, travel, attend theatre or ballet or monster truck rally (only five of these are true) anytime I want to. Having mortgaged so many years of my life doing what it took to make a six-figure income in two different industries, I have taken a sacred vow to never make the pursuit of mean dollar green a top-ten priority ever again. This makes me much more creative about how to fund something and much more likely to be happy. I am supremely wealthy in all that truly matters to me -- kids, cats, books, music, laughter, shoestring travel, pursuing an education from which I hope to leave a better world behind me when I go, and the awesome people I get to hang out with in real life and on sites like OkC (the latter ideally leading to more awesome people to hang out with IRL).
Costumes: Consistent with the above, my wardrobe is on the simple side. I literally gave away Armani when I left the corporate world behind. I still know how to "dress up" for almost any occasion, however (I did not give away my black-tie dinner jacket, although it seems to have shrunk in the past ten years or so. Dratted selective moths!). Where I mostly live, weather is an issue. It's oppressively hot 6-7 months of the year. We dress accordingly. This means that sometimes I get in the car dressed -- shorts, flip-flops, tshirt or, for dress-up, a Tommy Bahama knock-off -- for 105 degree central valley weather and pop out in Berkeley looking a little underdressed and shivery, at least until I pop in the back seat and do a surfer-style quick-change into, perhaps, denim and a flannel or even more elegant attire -- if, say, Oliveto's had an open reservation -- or tie-dyes or a 3 piece or ... well, you get the idea. I'm a Theatre major. I can do costume. Which is the _real_ me? Silly gosling, my rags may offer but little clue.
Chronometers. I don't wear (or own) one. If someone gave me a Rolodex or a Philipe Patek or a Tag HeuerI would sell it and buy books and bon-bons. (Exception may be made for scuba-diving, should that ever come to pass.) $100 large to know what time it is (or to impress others with the fact that I can flush $100 large to buy a watch) is part of a world I chose to leave behind. (Besides, asking a stranger what time it is is a quaint and quirky old-fashioned way to connect.)
Coaches. My automobile is humble and I chose if for reasons of thrift and function. It will haul 6 kids, a dozen theatre flats or large bucket of costumes. I can take a seat or two out and camp in it. A trip to by bulk groceries or a cubic yard of soil plus garden bed lumber is easy and does not require me to rent a truck. There are ample cup holders front and rear and the stereo is adequate, if sometimes notional to the point of cantankerous-ness. It does not travel through time, fly, or go underwater. Neither did that Rover I usta kinda want. Mine is hella cheaper, though and I'd be a lot less likely to regret it if one day I painted a mural on the side and, just in case drive-in theaters come back in vogue, way more congenial for smooching. If you would prefer that, however, we can take your car, meet someplace, or even rent a vehicle if we want to go someplace where appearance of function matter. If you would hope that someday I would buy a "nicer" one, however, I cannot promise that I will ever fulfill that particular hope. Give me some others to which I may aspire, however, as delighting the people I date, at least once in a while, is a very important activity. One last note, related to automobiles -- I know a lot of short-cuts or back ways around the Bay Area. Most of them take a little longer, even during the rush hour they are designed to avoid. I consider this a solid plus, as I get to see things other than the back window of that same car in front of me. I am almost 100% intractable about avoiding certain Bay Area roads and sticking to my routes of choice or, together, discovering new ones. Examples: I never (ever) drive on 80 between the Maze and, say, San Pablo Dam Road, if the sun is shining. Really.
On another note about locale: I "live" in the Sierra Foothills two hours north of Sacramento. I spend a lot of time in the greater Bay Area and on the road in between. If that alone puts you off, then only write to me if you want to be long-distance friends or something. Since I may have driven 3 hours to meet you, I won't make plans to do so unless or until I feel like we have the possibility of something or unless its just a fun, possibly one-off, date to the opera or theatre or film or ballet or exhibition opening or offbeat show in a club. I will mostly ask, therefore, that you at least be willing to meet me in the East Bay at some clean, well-lighted place of mutual convenience. If you're one of those SF folks who only ever cross the bridge to go skiing, either you're interested enough in me to meet in Oakland or Berkeley or Walnut Creek, or let's not waste each other's time and gas. Naturally, folks who are even more mobile than that, at least once we are acquainted, are most appreciated.