Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


55 Paradise, CA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 39–59
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Aug 22
Heteroflexible, Straight, Sapiosexual
Hispanic / Latin, White
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Working on Ph.D program
Rather not say
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Italian (Poorly), Portuguese (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"We're born naked. All the rest is drag." - Attributed variously to Patti Smith and Ru Paul

"We are the Otters of the universe."- Richard Bach

"Straights only marriage is like whites only water fountains." - me

"The universe is not made of molecules; it is made of stories." - attributed to the Talmud

"I've never seen you be a douche." -- Ben, a real life friend of mine

"Fiery blue eyes and a 'fuck-yeah, let's do it' attitude." -- Paul, my friend since high school

More so than many, I am difficult to summarize. I'm not just a "mechanic who likes to fly fish and watch hockey" or a "scuba-diving transsexual who wants to try haggis and and likes to grow aspidistras." I'm actually none of those things, although scuba diving has always attracted me; I'm more like to date a mechanic than to be one, although I can hold forth extemporaneously on the societal impact of the internal combustion engine and explain, in some detail, how one works.

I grew up on a carnival (really), traveled the world in a tin can full of stinky dudes (it was, however, the USS Enterprise, the sheer geekery which sustained me through many trying times and is still worthy of a -- manly -- "squeeee"), helped bring the Internet around the world, co-founded a high school, finished a BA at 50, a master's at 54, and am now shopping for a doctorate. I've seen the Grateful Dead 40+ times (fair warning -- I bleed tie-dyed). I'm an idealistic pragmatist (or vice-versa) who bursts into song at random intervals and can find the funny in almost everything (extra credit for knowing this actually keeps me from crying a lot of the time).

My strategies regarding status or money are quite eccentric, contrarian, and episodic -- ramen today, sashimi and lobster when the grant checks arrive or I am able to pull a magic money-bunny out of a hat. Having climbed to a six-figure income in two different industries, I appreciate having the scratch to eat out, travel, attend theatre or ballet anytime I want to. Having mortgaged so many years of my life doing what it took to make a six-figure income in two different industries, I have taken a sacred vow to never make the pursuit of mean dollar green a top-ten priority ever again. This makes me much more creative about how to fund something and much more likely to be happy. I am supremely wealthy in all that truly matters to me -- kids, cats, books, music, laughter, shoestring travel, pursuing an education from which I hope to leave a better world behind me when I go, and the awesome people I get to hang out with in real life and on sites like OkC (the latter ideally leading to more awesome people to hang out with IRL).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I recently got a BA in Theatre Arts at the local .edu. That was a lot of hard work and a lot of fun! (In the last few years, I've done R&J, As You Like It, Sly Fox, Learned Ladies, A Doll's House, Scapino, and numerous other shows...yes, I do have a "thing" for Shakespeare and Moliere.) Due to circumstances when I was young, I never got to finish my original college, so it is fun to have finally graduated at the age of 51.

Now I'm enjoying graduate school. Consciousness and Transformative Studies, Dreamwork Emphasis, with a certificate in EcoTherapy. I'm still very active in Theatre and, this past school year, taught Children's Theatre at Waldorf K-8 (Romeo and Juliet with the two families as Goths and Jocks). I try to keep most of my Drama onstage, but occasionally get pulled in to having to stand up for what I love and believe in and sometimes that can get a little dramatic, for example, I was in the paper four times one week last fall. (Quite an increase from my usual 2-3 times per year.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I have a really strange skill. While I sleep the pillowcases and fitted sheets somehow acquire a hunger for freedom and slip the bonds of their alloted roles. I awake to find them in disarray, a little confused as to just what I might have done to inspire them to this rebellion.


The fact that my backpack has jets.
My nautical themed pashmina afghan.
Feeding you straight lines or picking up on straight lines that other people feed me (intentionally or not).
Looking at things from many different angles (some of them quite whimsical, offbeat, or even macabre).
Reading between the lines.
Psyching myself up.
Keeping a conversation going over time.
Remembering "useless" bits of trivia. (Like who is Skunk Baxter or what happened in Vienna in 1689)
Forgetting "important" bits of information (like what I went to the store for).
Standing up for what I believe in (this seems to be increasing the older I get).
Listening until I hear what people are really saying.
Attracting cats (you cat people know what I mean).
Acting (theatre) and directing, including chidren's puppet theatre.
Being nurturing (sometimes), being a right bastard others (only when called for).
Dreaming, both in terms of aspirations and the when-I'm-asleep kind.
Seeing possibilities and creating realities-I'm not always willing to settle for what life dishes out.
[May 2012] Been getting lots of grad-school feedback about being a really good writer. (That or, ironically, picky feedback about grammar/spelling minutia...I write, and read, for content,...not so much me with the arbitrary rules...)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sense of humor. How many books I have. How many cats I have. My long hair (past my shoulders). My luxurious beard- grew it for a play and just kept it on-shave it occasionally for other plays. My pimpin' ride- just kidding, I drive a mini-van...really, if a car doesn't fly, go under water, or travel through time, how bad-ass can it really be? My je ne sais quoi and savoir-faire.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am a real bookworm and read constantly -- mostly fantasy and scifi, detective books, spy fiction, plus scripts and stuff in my fields of study: consciousness, dream work, kitchen table anthropology, mystical spiritualism, hard science, ecology and Gaia studies, history, Internet culture, psychology, psychedelia, sustainability, epistemology, ontology, world religions, Integral Theory, Rudolph Steiner, Permaculture.

LOTR is my all time favorite. Shakespeare is god. Heinlein warped me as a child (and I forgive can forgive his well-intended libertariansim...who knew just how badly _that_ would work out?) Other fiction: DeLint, Bujold, Coelho, le Guin, Wodehouse, (Guy Gavriel) Kay, Borges, Allende, Lescroart, Turow, and far too many trashy thrillers or mysteries. Non-fiction: Ram Dass, Timothy Leary, Suzuki-roshen, Alan Watts, Jeremy Taylor, Terrence McKenna, Fritjof Capra, Pinker, Dawkins (although I find him to be a right ass where his rabid anti-theism is concerned), Hunter Thompson, Feynman, Blackmore, Asimov, Eliade, Bateson, Mead, Benedict (see what I did there?).


A Doll's House, any Pinter/Shakespeare/Moliere, Stoppard, Schafer, Ionesco, Brecht (if I'm in an alienatin' kind of mood), anything that Julie Taymor touches, some musicals...oh, did the question mean _TV_?

Buffy (or any Joss, really), ST:TNG/DS9, JJ Abrams, Aaron Sorkin, detective or weird shows. Lately: Being Human (UK), the Doctor, the Guild (Felicia Day is my queen), GCB, the Event, Flash Forward, Endgame, Grimm. Always: classic comedy like Lucy, George and Gracie, Red, the Great One, Groucho, et al. I will admit to a wide range of comedic interests, from Jackass to Jane Austen, and very little space for cultural or literary sacred cows (unless you are actually Hindu, in which case "namaste").

I do watch a lot of movies -- all kinds of stuff. Most recently watched "Midnight in Paris" by Woody Allen. Joss, JJ, M.Night, Kevin Smith, Ridley Scott, John Wu, Ang Lee, Miyazaki-san, Hitchcock, Peter Jackson. Action, sci-fi, documentary, mockumentary, period pieces, drama, chick flicks ("27 Dresses" a perennial fave). "Blade Runner", "Star Wars". My anime collection is a little out of date, but I still <3 the genre.

Music is very important to me. I listen to a lot of classic rock cuz that's what's on the radio, am a big fan of the Grateful Dead. (Important to say that I'm WAY into psychedelia and jam bands in general.) I like most genres, though I don't listen to a lot of Opera). Psychedelic Ambient has been big for me lately (Sphongle, Hallucinogen). Quirky, brainy music like TMBG, Cake, =W=. Just turned on to LMFAO, which I know is a flavor of the week, but still...haven't seen a band this FUN in a long time (also a big fan of Ok Go...genius videos!). Just turned on to Nerdcore (MC Frontalot, MC Chris). I don't listen to a lot of modern country but like old school country like Hank, Sr. or the Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack. Celtica of any kind (Tempest, Wicked Tinkers). Not a rap hater, but don't need to hear about "bitches, hoes, or how big the singer's johnson supposedly is (except for Joe C on the Kid Rock album...R.I.P. Joe C...)"...still love Run-D.M.C. (cover of "Walk This Way" with Aerosmith in the video). I've kicked it at DJ Qbert's (awesome collection of robot action figures). Love to dance any old way. When I'm too old to shake my ass on the dance floor, it's time to kill me. Jazz, blues, electronica, folk, filk, world, salsa, samba, reggae, ska, reggeton, norteno, (almost) any form of Electronica, truly "alternative" bands like Boiled in Lead or Polkacide.

Food is a source of great pleasure to me and I love ethnic cuisine of all types. (My little town just got a sushi chef so I've been chronic on the sashimi lately!) Chocolate! Thai, Pho, mole, scallops, waffles, croissants, tandoori I am not a vegan/vegetarian, but totally vegan friendly and willingly forgo carne in the presence of a dear one (as long as you don't rat me out for showing up with hamburger breath ...anyway, all my vegan friends at school mostly lived on PopTarts and Oreos :-)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sense of humor
Chocolate croissants
The big mama (ocean)
Someone to occasionally keep track of details like "six" as once I start thinkin' about something (or creating something) I just go right down the rabbit hole (or better yet, come join me).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The meaning of life and how to make mine make a difference.

Whether we'll ever go to war over the "Oxford comma"

Whether we'll come to our senses about the environment.

Where did the squirrel get the scuba gear and why did the mariner shoot the albatross.

My dreams, both in terms of aspirations and where I went when I was asleep (very vivid dreamer!)

What will my kids be like when they grow up (and what will the world be like for them)?

How to be a better friend, lover, parent, partner, activist, artist, boss/collaborator.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
"Partyin' partyin' yeah!" - Rebecca Black!

Okay, but really...

At rehearsal. At a show that my friends are in. Sometimes out dancing with my friends. Waiting backstage to go on (but having somebody waiting to go out with me for afters is fun!). Listening to old vinyl records with my kids (my parental duties include educating them on music, comedy, theatre/film, myth, and history).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Right now the fact that I'm in a non-monogamous marriage seems like a big deal to admit.
I'm not really secretive (I actually only have one official secret), I do have layers like an ogre/parfait/onion/pousse cafe, and I don't promise you can get to all of them right away.
Sometimes, as a test, I wait to see if someone is interested enough to ask me good questions or pick up a hint I have left on the table. I make it a point to try to never invest more in someone than they invest in me, regardless of how attractive I may find them. Saves time and trouble further downstream. (Obviously, being human and all, this is true in theory more than in practice.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're willing to consider some form of relationship (even just friends) with a married man.

You know the difference between you/y'uns/youse/y'all/all y'all and only ever use them properly (seriously, if you're a your/you're/yore or their/they're/there fanatic, I will mock you!)

You'd rather tame dragons than have me slay them for you.

You are a work in progress.

You can see below the surface (even when the surface is shimmery).