Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was 19 I wore roller skates for an entire month without
taking them off except to shower. That same year I bought a pogo
stick and hopped 17 blocks without falling. I used to make Wanted
signs for the Hamburglar and hang them all over my college campus.
I once fancily jumped over a box trying to impress a guy waiting
for the bus, but ended up tripping and getting a box stuck to my
foot. My favorite smell is that of a woodshop. Horses are cool.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
At the moment I am employed as an art handler. What is an art
handler you may ask? Well by golly let me explain! I basically
install and pack insanely expensive artworks for snooty rich people
that can't do a single thing for themselves. It is pretty grueling
and physical work, but I do get to see some out of control art
collections and hang out in some swanky pads. I am proud to say I
am one of two girls at the company I work for and that I have my
CDL truckers license! My life goal is to move up from art handler
to art fondler...or better yet artist fondler. That or professional
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Terrible jokes and then laughing way too hard at them. Prancing.
Drawing horses. Baton twirling.
A new skill I have mastered is cutting clementines so that the peel
looks like a dick.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My freakishly muscular calves, which I like to refer to as my money
makers. If you can manage to take your eyes away from my magical
calves then you will probably notice my insane laugh or yellow
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Authors: Everything by Cormac McCarthy (He is basically a literary
god to me.), Oliver Sacks, Faulkner, Marquez, McEwan, David and Amy
I also read a lot of books about the brain...if you want to blow
your mind wide open read Phantoms in the Brain by neurologist V.S.
Shows: Arrested Development, Mr. Show, Tim and Eric Awesome Show,
Great Job!, Tom Goes to The Mayor, Parks and Rec, Deadwood,
Breaking Bad, DeLocated, This American Life, Nature
Music...so much but always Jeff Mangum, Will Oldham, Tommy Waits,
and for some reason a lot of Calexico lately.
Comedians: David Cross....David Cross...David Cross
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
It will come out at some point so I am just going to say
1. My cat.
2. Buttercream Frosting
3. Knee high socks (even though they cover the money makers)
4. Roller skates
5. My precious bike that takes me everywhere I go.
6. My BFF Mary.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Cats in bow ties...hamsters in top hats...chinchillas in business
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once found a lucky charms marshmallow in my bra....and ate it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are into new boot goofin' or spoofin'.
Who are you looking for?
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