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32 Toronto, Ontario, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–36
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:27am
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am peacing out on being painfully earnest for the time being. As being back in my hometown has sapped me of the urge to not mask everything with irony. So for the time being I am at least funny again!

I used for the time being in concurrent sentences. BULLSHIT!

Also apparently this is weird but I read every profile I click on all the way through, I just always feel the need to finish what I start.

I am get, real, and dude
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am moving back to Toronto at the end of November. Another kick at the proverbial can. Or a literal can, if it goes bad and I end up homeless. How's that for excitement and high stakes living?

I also write and perform stand up comedy and shortly sketch comedy. Isn't that awesome? No it's not? well forget I mentioned it, you look great!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing, reading, being glib, using the word glib.

Avoiding serious questions with inconsequential answers.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People look at me and say 1: You probably like Professional Wrestling and 2: You are sick with the irony
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A) Kurt Vonnegut (above everyone else), Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Gunter Grass, Joseph Heller Frank Portman, John Irving, Aaron Cometbus, Matthew Good, Chuck Klosterman (SORT OF) and Naomi Klein/Noam Chomsky (how edgy of me). I also have been reading fantasy the last little while, Patrick Rothfuss and Lev Grossman. Uh the latter is better than the former..

B) Changed to reflect some of the movies I like: Belle Epoque, WALL-E, The Royal Tenenbaums, Fletch, Up, Robin Hood(Disney version) Dig!, Hype!, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, Spinal Tap. A Mighty Wind, For Your Consideration.

C) Matthew Good, At the Drive In, Refused, The Plan, Burdocks, Dog Day, Wintersleep, Fucked Up, Titus Andronicus, These Arms are Snakes, Japanther, Cave In, Tora Okadu, Nirvana, Sloan, Fugazi, Minor Threat, Minutemen, Elliot Smith, Frodus, Rites of Spring, the good life, Desaparecidos, Cursive, daughters, Death Cab for Cutie (SORT OF!) Ink and Dagger, Husker Du the thermals and the Replacements, Kanye West and Tupac as well, ALSO Wu-Tang. Always Wu Tang

D) The past three months I have exorcised pop and chips (the STAPLES!) from my diet, and started eating the green things I usually fed to the dog I don't own. I have also started using a treadmill and am sort of trying yoga. I am losing my identity.

E) [TV] The Office (BBC mostly) Arrested Development, Community, Kids in the Hall, Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons (mostly seasons 4-9 because these are the ones I own also because to quote Dj Khaled, Theyyyyy the Beeeeeeest)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1: Water with weird crystals that make it taste like not water and make it neon in colour. Neon is healthy right? 2: F-words 3: Self satisfaction stemming from the (mistaken) idea that knowing a lot about music and movies is interesting 4: Ultra-Suede 5: Pizza 6: My big mouth
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
1: I think a lot about what my ethics are, and how I can, live a
life I feel the most comfortable with.

2: What it would be like if there were a boy born who could swim faster
than a shark.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Achieving enlightenment through the teachings of Jesus Christ, hahahah no but seriously push ups probably, or sleeping

Listening to R. Kelly - that is true.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I really do think I am funny.

Also I LOVE to laugh (2:55 AM on a Monday and let me just say, this sentence feels INSPIRED.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I have decided from now on I will literally respond immediately to any and all messages on here, also I will delete the part of this section that I forgot about and WHOO lord does it sound bitter.

Also because I feel like it would be a real jerk move to not respond to someone if they actually made it through all this jackassery

Basically if it feels cool bro