THE CONS: (I figure it's better to get this stuff out of the way first - can't have dessert before we eat our vegetables, right?)
* I have an extremely rare condition that causes the skin on the right side of my body to produce too much collagen, making the skin itself very hard and lacking in elasticity. This limits my range of motion and causes me to walk with a limp, due to the fact I can't straighten my right knee and flex my right ankle properly. The upshot of this is that I can't comfortably walk long distances or be on my feet for extended periods of time. I like the outdoors and nature as much as anyone, but sadly, I won't be taking 15-mile day hikes through the Smokies anytime soon. More like 2 miles, max.
* I'm allergic to cats. The extent of the allergy depends on the cat in question. Some, I can hang with just fine. Others, my eyes start to water after about an hour in the same room, unless I take a Benadryl first, which makes me groggy and lethargic and no rock 'n' roll fun. So if you live with four Persians, hanging out at your place is realistically not going to be an option. This blows, as I do like cats, but it is what it is. (side note: dogs, on the other hand, looooooove me, and the feeling is mutual, unless you own a tiny bitey yappy dog, in which case I have to ask: "why do you own a tiny bitey yappy dog?")
* I'm not tall. I'm 5'7" 3/4, which in my view rounds up to 5'8". I have dated taller women sans self-consciousness, but I do understand that height can be a dealbreaker and have accepted this fate with Napoleonic aplomb.
Still reading? Excellent.
* I'm smart, sometimes even witty, and, I'm told, a good conversationalist. I have a pretty insatiable curiosity about most things and can hold my own in most spheres of talking.
* Although I do have some physical limitations, I work out regularly and am in pretty good shape. After years of neglect, I'm working to becoming a healthier person. That being said, I enjoy bourbon, red wine, and steak, because I believe in moderation in all things, and being healthy and fit doesn't mean you have to deprive yourself of everything pleasurable in life.
* I'm politically and culturally aware without (I'd like to think) coming across as a pretentious douche. In fact, pretentiousness and I are sworn enemies locked in eternal mortal combat. If you're a hipster (and I know nobody admits to this particular label, but if you are one, you know it), we're probably not going to get along that well.
* I'm polite, kind-hearted, generous, and generally decent. I say please and thank you and sir and ma'am because that's how I was raised. I treat service industry employees with respect and am a very good tipper.