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36 Melbourne, Australia Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–39
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:17am
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from Ph.D program
Science / Engineering
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), LISP (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello Stranger!

I suppose you've come to this page to find out about me - so I'll put aside that self-conscious feeling of overindulgence I get when I talk about myself to strangers and get on with it.

I've just finished up a PhD, on a topic that is a hybrid of artificial intelligence and evolutionary biology (as opposed to natural stupidity and creationism). The whole ordeal has been somewhat traumatic. I'm loath to start my profile with that little factoid, but after you've spent a number of years on such a monster, it does become a part of your identity (for better or worse).

Meanwhile, I'm working on building a small consulting company with my supervisors. This mostly involves statistical models of threatened species and is frightfully sexy. It's pretty cool as it affords me a work life that is ethical, interesting and quality centric. That said, I'd rather not let work be the center of my life and only care about money as far as having enough to not worry about it. Work/life balance is supremely important to me. If there's one thing I've learnt from my education, it's what a waste it would be to squander it on profit. I'd much rather drive a shitty car (or, even better, ride my bike), spend less time working and more time with all the people/things I care about.

I'm open/honest to a fault, think that communication is paramount in all relationships, and get on best with people who are like-minded in that respect. I'm something of an idealist, especially regarding relationships.

I think people should be nice and look after each other.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Jeez, Mum! Get off my case, I'll sort it out soon...

I'm in the process of recovering from the trauma of finishing a ridiculously overdue thesis. Seriously, what a fucker! I was well and truly bitten by the black dog on that one. I am, however, looking forward to the day when airline staff ask me to assist in an emergency amputation, because I insisted on calling myself "Doctor" when checking in.

Presently, as I (ever so gracefully) stumble down the steps of the ivory tower, I'm looking to becoming something resembling a responsible adult - or, at least, feign an attempt at one. This involves: squirrelling away money until the day I give up waiting for housing to become reasonably priced; trying to turn this job, which I fell into, into something I can convincingly call 'full time employment'; getting more awesome people in my life (such as your good self); and working out what the hell to do with this cluckiness that seems to have overcome me, since all my friends started popping out babies, whilst I was busy birthing a hideous thesis monster.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Avoiding questions that require me to talk myself up in an overt manner.

For some reason, I feel most liberated in my writing when being self-deprecating. Every quality has two sides; it's not hard to spin gold from straw, when you've got an audience looking to be impressed. I certainly don't presume to be everybody's cup of tea. Rather than attempt a boast, I'd prefer to let you read between the lines and work out what I'm good at.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I suppose that would be my lack of manliness. I really can't be arsed trying to conform to the male stereotype. I find watching sport incredibly boring and I cry a stupid amount of the time. I do, however, have an irresistible impulse to switch off lights and turn down thermostats, which I mostly do under the guise of environmentalism (although, I've been informed this isn't the sole domain of frugal males).

I'm usually shy around strangers, that is, until I break some seal by blurting out something ridiculously personal about myself. After that, I'll happily run around under your garden sprinkler without any clothes! Online dating works well for me like that - I can get the confessional out of the way.

People are often surprised by my age. I'm not sure if that's more to do with my youthful good looks or a general lack of maturity. I'm a stupendous dag - and not in that hipster, not really a dag way.

I suppose the first thing you'll notice about me is that I'm friendly and generous in my communication. For what it's worth, I prefer to not be presuming on dates - until I notice an inordinate amount of leg touching or eyelash batting.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ah, the inevitable 'what really matters is "what you like", not "what you are like"' section. I fear I must deny the weary, overly polite, reader the opportunity to skip a section (fuck it, you can skip, if you want!). Instead, I'll give into my tendency to ramble and try to write something revealing about myself - I will, nevertheless, indulge in a bit of shameless, unreferenced, quote dropping.

I derive a lot of pleasure from films, books and music. A lot of smarter, artsy-fartsy stuff, but a good dose of faff as well. As for the twaddle I get all swoony groupie about, I'm a sucker for magical realism, story telling and personal confessions revelling in the awkwardness of human existence. So much of life is about the masks we wear and what's going on everywhere except inside ourselves. Being an introspective type, I find it exhausting... Often I feel like the only person in the world who hasn't got their shit together.

Boy, I love a beautifully crafted song lyric. It seems that most of the music I love is about heart break (and the inevitable sexual frustration that follows). Singers who's idea of romance is having a double-decker bus crash into yourself and loved one (such a heavenly way to die...). Do I listen to pop music because I am miserable? Or am I miserable because I listen to pop music? I used to love making mix tapes (and still do occasionally) to woo would be romantic interests. Apparently the best tape I ever made was a break up tape...

In my younger, super impressionable, years, I was besotted by those crypto-homo glam rockers - Bowie, Iggy and Mercury - who's crotches make me question my sexuality. Oh, and the dirty Beat poet/writers, who had a penchant for injecting themselves with heroin and cock. I thought I might be gay for a while... Except I didn't desire to sleep with men and I think about lady bits all the time (and then, of course, there's the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that dancing!). Turns out, I was just a little bit poofy... The politics of sexuality and gender fascinate me. If I ever detect a hint of homophobia (or, more generally, sex negativity) in another, I'll, quite maliciously, let them believe I'm gay, just to rile them (sorry mum!) - I suppose this is a bit punk.

Food: ice cream. I enjoy cooking for others, but I'm quite lazy when cooking for one. In case you're wondering, I'm not crying. Really... I've just been cutting onions. I'm making a lasagna... for one... I'm currently about 90% vegetarian (i.e., the type that doesn't bother to put out your mum or won't hesitate to order meat if the menu has unimaginative vegetarian options) - but respect what others do with their own lives. I love condiments, they're the things I'd miss the most if I was vegan (what, no mayonnaise!).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could never do a profile without a list.
I could never do a picnic without brie.
I could never do a road trip without a daggy singalong.
I could never do a bicycle ride without a seat.
I could never do a perfect date without a kiss.
I could never do a philosophical discussion without a mildly addictive drink (actually, scratch that, I just need oxygen).
I could never do a question without breaking the rules.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I worry a lot about expression in writing; I'm perfectionist and I obsess about clearly articulating my rambling nonsensical thoughts. Often I over think and rewrite sentences so much that I create little monsters that no one can understand but me. With a pride reminiscent of Frankenstein, I let these miscreants flutter out into the world, like demented butterflies, and wonder that other's hearts don't break on encountering their beauty.

All this is problematic with thesis/work writing. I've mild dyslexia, which coupled with my horrendous handwriting and spelling (seriously, I write like a five-year old), means I avoid writing most of the time. Thank God for word processors, spell checkers and giving a fuck about communication. I'm capable of navigating my way around the 14 (or so) punctuation symbols - but that doesn't count for diddly squat, if you don't have anything interesting to say. I value openness, honesty and clarity far more than flourish.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing something similar to Wednesday morning. Sometimes I have breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. That's the type of crazy existence I lead. No really... More often than not, there's not much going on, but I'd like to change that. This is partially due to academia blurring the line between work and play (it seems that, at any point in time, I'm either working or procrastinating) and all my friends are popping out babies all over the place and are no longer available for Friday evening shenanigans. Also, I'm a bit of a Nanna...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Really? Okay, you asked for it...

I like sex: thinking about it; talking about it; doing it... I'm loath to say it so bluntly, but hopefully it dispels any "nice guy: not thinking about your crotch" ideas people might get from my profile. I don't know, I've met people who think stuff like that... Perhaps because I'm at pains to paint a picture of my emotional and mental credentials. Consequently, I've tried to inject a bit of smut (that dirty slut) into my profile (sorry, to the more genteel readers!). For the record, I put equal (and high) measure in physical, emotional and mental levels of connection. Every time someone concludes from this confession that I'm *only* interested in sex, a demented butterfly somewhere dies!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're a dingledodie! I'm most interested in people who live to think and feel; to talk and listen with compassion; who value work/life balance and aren't materialistic; are feminist and think gender binaries are balls; who care about others, but are up for a bit of social vandalism.

If you're uncertain if you're a dingledodie, but you'd very much like to be one (and you're intelligent, compassionate and a kickarse communicator), then you probably are one!

Thank you for indulging me my little rant - I hope you enjoyed the show? It is a tad waffly, isn't it? Like a forlorn peacock, desperately strutting its stuff, I tried to put some thought and pizzazz behind it. If only I could be so articulate in person. This is me when I feel most comfortable; it's lazy Wednesday morning postcoital banter (it's easy to do; I just imagine talking to the person who is right for me). On a first date (aka, interview), I'm far more likely to be awkwardly shy or overcompensatingly bold (depending on the day and you). That said, there's a fine line between a thoughtful profile and one that's in danger of disappearing up its own arsehole. Don't be fooled! This whole dating game is 90% photos, 7% those details on the side, 9% write up, 5% match score and 1% math questions.

By the way, I currently reside in the hills - solo in Belgrave. My place is a beautiful bluestone apartment, part of a heritage listed manor, which I think is pretty fucking awesome. However, I'm not the type who's too fussy about where I live in the long term. Sometimes I put my location as Melbourne, in order to trick people into visiting my profile. Otherwise, I tend to have more visitors from O/S (hello lovelies!) than from my local city. Go figure...

Also, in case you missed it on the side, I'm a smoker. We're a lonely sad bunch, aren't we... There was a time when it was romantic ("you and me and five bucks"), nowadays, it's like confessing a venereal disease. I say trying to quit, because I'd love dearly to be a non-smoker and intend to become one soon. But for now... Picture an anxious doctorate candidate, buried beneath a pile of dirty coffee cups and scribbled notes, chain smoking the night away, trying to force an entire PhD dissertation through his bunghole (Whoa! Don't oversell yourself, Owen!). I don't care what you are, but I think it worth mentioning because it'd be exceedingly stupid to premise a relationship on anything other than that truth (and I get to call deal breaker before you, nuh-nuh!).

Enough! For fuck's sake, wrap it up!

Okay... If you're wishing I'd send you a message, then you should probably send me one (that's how it works, right?). Or, if you're a bit shy, like I am, you can always "like" me and see if we've got a match (it's less effective, but I do go prowling other profiles, when things are quiet). Or, you could send me a message that says "Macaroni" and I might not ignore you. Or, you could use the plethora of information I've provided on here to cyberstalk me, and rock up at my place unannounced, say, next Saturday morning (this is a joke, please don't do this again...). Or, if it's to be goodbye, rather than see you later, then I wish you the best of luck on your journey!