Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Cleveland, OH Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–33
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 7:48am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body type
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Two-year college
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
DISCLAIMER: This profile is best read with Nicolas Cage's voice.

* * * * * * *

Well, everyone else opens their profile with "I am really bad at this but..." so I guess I'm the exception.

Anyway, my tale begins in the mythical land of Cleve, although my driver's license says Nevada for some reason, and I have a bad habit of being everywhere. I might have been in Phoenix one day and in Boston or Chicago the next...maybe I was in Omaha one day, too, who knows?

I could say that I'm easygoing, endearingly eccentric, refreshingly cynical, hopelessly sarcastic, and the craziest/funniest person you'll ever know, but nearly everyone says that...and I'm no exception, I guess...except I was told this by a psychiatrist, so I suppose that makes it more official.

I am a paradox. Humorous yet serious. Reserved yet gregarious. Absent-minded yet aware. Superficial yet deep. But almost always wily. My words are chosen carefully, and expressed efficiently. Everything I do is done with a purpose in mind, even when I am not always conscious of the purpose.

In my spare time, I enjoy watching movies, going to movies, playing video games, building my computer, designing roller coasters, driving aimlessly, and sometimes professionally.

A lifelong movie buff, I am fascinated by cinema as both an art and science. I am partial to every orgasmic, self-indulgent CGI special effects extravaganza in existence. I might also like comedies if there was conclusive evidence that they existed. As for dramas, what's the point? Why see it on a screen when you could experience and even cause it in everyday life?

I'm not gonna tell you what my favorite movies are because I might spoil all the fun, and some of the boredom.

Black metal, Viking metal, and especially the symphonic variety of both, industrial and industrialized metal, aggrotech, and '80s pop are but few of my favorite genres. But really, I have a taste for a variety of musical genres; I don't really care if something is popular or not, and I'm not a fan of any particular band beyond the songs I like; if it sounds good then it is good.

Let's see, I'm getting bored of talking about myself...oh, who am I kidding? No, I'm not! But I'm typing this while I'm driving and there's a cop up send me a message if you'd like to know more and I might respond.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
PRE-DISENCHANTMENT: I'm gonna be the greatest movie director and screenwriter of all time and design the fastest roller coasters. They will have statues of me in museums and in front of important buildings related to my field. I will be worshipped by all and my body will be buried in a tomb of my design. There will be books written about me, buildings named after me, and everyone will want to fuck my corpse.

POST-DISENCHANTMENT: I do stuff to pay the bills. (And occasionally take selfies.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Analyzing, imagining, writing, creating worlds and living in them, complaining about the existing world, talking about myself, pretending to be a serial killer (of course I'm totally not really a serial killer because that would be against the law), getting banned from internet forums, making outrageous comments to get your reaction.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm nice.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I hate them all.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm gonna list seven, because I like to take it a step further:

Video Games
Bacon Cheeseburgers
Diet Coke
Donut Cushions
Santa Claus
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether it's polite to call the civil rights for paralyzed people a movement.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably working. Maybe stalking you. Maybe both...maybe not just on a Friday.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are female, you were born female, and were never a "female trapped in a male body."