Ok.....so I actually haven't got much to write about right now. Really really haven't. But I feel a need to write something. So here goes...just the first things that pop into my head.....

In front of me at the minute is a stone wall....My House is a pretty old place and apparently when it was being redecorated along time ago before I was born, my dad was chipping away at the plaster and hit through and struck the original stone work of the outside wall....so now we have two little pieces of our living room wall just shows exposed stone.

So I'm staring at this stone wall....and the light is shinning on it. But of course the stone wall is pretty shaded in places. So there's this effect where the stones are both lit up brightly yet parts of them are engulfed in darkness........I'm suddenly thinking that this is the perfect comparison to the human race........

Many of the stones are fully lit......they look bright and the light actually gleams off them....Others are almost completely dark and look almost ominous. I dunno they're the sort of parts I expect to see spiders crawling out of and things if you get my meaning......But most are half and half. Partly lit and partly shaded.....Isn't that so much like us? I mean we all have a dark side, but some peoples dark side are larger than others.

No stone is the same either. Not one stone is the same shape or size as another. They're all different and the light dances off each of them in a different way. Every curve, every edge, every dip effects how much light a stone gets. So perhaps the shape of the stone could be compared to our experiences.....

Does this make any sense? Probably not. But still.....that's probably enough for a nice random post.......

So I'm back from uni at last. For the final time too I think. My own fault really. I chose a course that wasn't right for me and didn't realise it until I'd failed the first year and repeated it again. I don't regret quitting though. I want to live my life and get some experiences out in the real world. If I'm lucky I'll go back to uni at some point, but if I don't....well that will be a shame but I won't let it stop me?

So what's it like being home? Not great...I got very used to my independance and I liked it. Now I'm back with my parents and they give me a hard time about every single day. It bugs me that I can't just talk to them about what's on my mind but they never seem to listen to what I have to say. They just hear something bad and jump to their own conclusions about me.

But at least I can always look on the bright side. I have a couple of job interviews lined up, My birthday is in a month and the creative synapses in my brain are working quite well towards a new story I'm writing. Life is going to be a lot harder for a while I think but to be honest I'm looking forward to it. Still have no idea what I'll do. I kinda feel like drifting for a bit. See where that gets me. But naturally my parents don't want me doing that. Can't really blame them but still I'm 19 for gods sakes. I need to start doing this stuff on my own and by my own bloody choice...

To be honest more than anything at the minute I miss having someone in my life I can care for. Someone I can cuddle up next to at night again.......Bah! I'm being all sentimental again. Told myself I'd be less sappy. Guess I'll always be a bit of a hopeless romantic but sometimes I think toning it down just a bit wouldn't hurt....