Not to be cliche, but I'm extremely talented at making self summaries. Prepare to be dazzled.

I had a 9 year stint in the Midwest for school and am glad to be back in Seattle where I grew up! I have a few good friends here from back in the day and am looking to branch out and meet new people as I make this city my home again.

Right now I'm trying to catch up on lost time here and do things like hike, camp, kayak, drink microbrews, go to Seahawks, Mariners and Sounders games and BE a true 206er again.

People tell me I'm witty, but their idea of wit is nothing more than an incisive observation humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing. I just think I'm a sarcastic smart ass. I talk a lot of shit, but my favorite target is myself.

I wear many hats....well, like 4-5 hats. I consider that a lot.

I'm a full time social worker/ therapist/ advocate for low income and mentally ill individuals.

I'm a part time aircraft mechanic in the WA National Guard. (Disclaimer: NOT a typical, right wing, gun loving military dude. I do it mostly for the travel, camaraderie, and extra money.) I've been to England, Qatar and Spain so far with Guam and Germany on deck.

I'm a novice rugby player (Go, Seattle Quake!), intermediate runner and general fitness aficionado. If its considered exercise, I will try it! That aspect of life is pretty important to me.

Also friend, son, brother, cat owner, casual investor, etc, etc.

Making people laugh.

Beer tasting.

Getting a good, free parking spot for Mariners/ Seahawks/ Sounders/ Sonics? games.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy for paranoia.

Making my cat not hungry anymore.

Planning things.

Grammar.

Making lists.

Retaining obscure facts. Forgetting important shit like math.

Quoting funny shows/ movies.

I have short hair so I MUST be in the military.

One time a guy I was in grad school with complimented my calves. It was a guy and I'm straight so it's a funny story and not a "bragging about my calves" story. Yeah.

Books: Animal Farm is my favorite book, but I read mostly non-fiction. McCullough, The Day the Voices Stopped, Moneyball, The Worst Hard Time, River of Doubt.

TV: Simpsons and The Wire are my favorites. Always Sunny, Seinfeld, Community, The Office, Treme, Workaholics, Arrested Development, HIMYM, New Girl

Movies: Braveheart, Animal House, Taladega Nights, The Lives of Others, The Departed, Star Wars

Music: I'm a Seattle kid so you can't go wrong with grunge. Pearl Jam is my favorite. I also like both quality and shitty hip-hop, some indie rock and jazz.

Food: Yes, please.

My friends, my phone, exercise, food, hydrogen (98% of atoms in the universe are hydrogen, so I'm guessing it's pretty important. I dunno though, I'm not a scientist), coffee

A witty comeback for nearly anything someone could say to me.

How disappointed I am that no one ever says the things (see above)

Social justice! (Sounds a lot cooler than it is)

Food.

How I'm going to exercise today.

At a dive bar with friends or laying low resting up for a match. When I'm single, I like to leave the house and blow off steam from the work week, but that can also be accomplished by staying in with the right company.

I'm in the Air Force and afraid of heights. Don't tell them that though....

If any of the ridiculous sarcasm in my profile got through to you and want to hear me say things like that live. You want to go kayaking, to a Mariners game or a brewery tour. I know that was only three things, but I'm down for whatever.

You should message me even harder if you're in a helping profession: doctors, nurses, social workers, teachers, therapists, etc.