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This is a long profile. Just saying. I'm sorry. I have verbal diarrhea.

I'm 31, in school (impressive, huh?), and perpetually bored. For real. Help me. Please. I like people... mostly. I'm kinda liberal. I cuss without thinking about it. I'm very opinionated and very smart. Above all things, I don't believe in overselling anything... ever. There's nothing to be gained by deceiving your way into a spot you don't belong in. That's called fraud.

I'm the type that would tell someone if I ever cheated on them (or did something bad) because I'd rather them dump me than continue on with someone knowing that my "love" might be based on a lie. That said, I don't ever cheat. I'm retardedly monogamous.

Despite anything I ever tell anyone, the only thing I'm looking for in this life is intimacy... Intimacy between friends, lovers, family, or what have you. Trust, love, loyalty... all the good stuff. When I find intimacy in a relationship all of the external desires melt away. I couldn't care less about being a millionaire or any of that other crap. Just gimme a sweet girl, a good job, and a puppy and everything else is gravy.

I like ellipses... just so you know... they're fun. I also like goofing off, going to Seth Rogan movies (he = funny), and just hanging out with my friends anywhere. I am the most unprejudiced, nonjudgemental person you'll ever meet and I hide it well. :)

Ok, thats not really true. I judge privately but not in a discriminatory way... if that makes any sense. I'm good at noticing things that are indicative of certain personality types or predictive of certain behaviors. I tend to understand people extremely well. I'm the friend that tells you that you need to dump your boyfriend/girlfriend six months before you realize they're fucking crazy. I give the most superduperawesome advice that no one ever actually heeds. Seriously, if there was an olympic sport where you had to give really good advice and have no one actually listen to you, I wouldn't even be allowed to compete because I'm doped up on horse tranquilizers and fun dip.

That's not in any way factual.

I strongly believe in the healing power of not giving a shit. Well... giving a shit, but not so much of one that your butt ends up hurting. Shit is going to happen. If you just sit there worrying about it, you're gonna smell like crap.

I just noticed that a lot of this is very crass. So here's the part where I cut the shit and tell you how awesome I am. I'm pretty fucking awesome. I am somewhere between a renaissance man and that guy on the couch. I'm smart, I'm goofy, I'll make you giggle, and then debate furiously just about any side of any issue just for the sake of it. But I'm not a reader. I don't think I'm particularly cultured. And I dress like a boy. :P

I care... a lot. Like a whole lot. I was raised by an incredibly feminized dad who rejected damn near every single male stereotype... to his own detriment. I like saying the word, 'detriment'. For all of his faults, he left me with a perspective unlike most guys. He never taught me to play ball; instead he instilled in me a respect for women that goes beyond the normal placation.

I won't fight with anyone. I'm not the jealous type. Possessiveness does not exist in my relationships... either way. I'm constantly amazed that the questions need to be asked, "If your girlfriend told you couldn't do this or hang out with that person, what would you do?" Not date a person so fucked up that she can't trust me in a situation or so possessive that she wants to control who my friends are.

You know who those people are? Abusive assholes. Fuck em. Fuck every last one of em. Especially the guys. If I had a nickel for every sweet girl I've run into that had their mind fucked with by some asshole with a hardon for controlling women... I'd have at least a dollar twenty. I could go on and on about that shit. But I'll save it for a journal someday.

Back to frivolity...

I'm a big believer in the idea that its the thought that counts. Words don't have any power unless you give it to them. I know there's a time and a place for everything. But the idea that there are "bad" words is fucking hilarious to me. Only topped by the idea that saying dang, crap, or freak is somehow different than saying damn, shit and fuck. Or bleeping out bad words on radio or TV... as if the vocalization of those consonants and vowels are somehow damaging to the human mind. If you so strongly disagree with the content, ban the thought it came from... oh wait, THAT's unamerican.

I'm not a homophobe, but I do call my friends gay from time to time. Its just one of those things from elementary school that is so retarded its funny. And I know I'm a hypocrite. But who isn't? Seriously, If I supported gay rights anymore, I'd have a cock in my mouth.

That was over the line, wasn't it?

I'd fight bigots to the death if I didn't think I'd die first...and really really early. There's a whole lot of funny in the absurd. And i can't think of anything more absurd than bigotry... well, besides Japanese television. I'm just saying... laugh dammit. It helps.

As I said before, I'm a fulltime student. I graduated from Brookhaven and I'll be going to UTD for the forseeable future, starting Fall '07. I'm a Psych major and if you ever meet me you'll see why. I just have a knack for reading and understanding people. I'm not sure what I want to do with my degrees when I'm done with school, but I intend to get at least a Master's cuz thats where the money is. And you can't really get a good job in the Psych field without having one.

I'm also a part-time, and fledgling, web developer, mostly because my ideas are greater than my competency and I don't have the capital to have anyone else do it. Its still fun to design things... even if they never get off of the ground. But I have one big idea that I'm determined to make happen in the next 5 years. Hell or high water and shit. No, I can't tell you what it is. Well maybe i can tell you. But I can't post it here.

Oh, and I just today (12/13/08) decided I'm a vegetarian. Not sure why... other than fruit tastes good. It just came to me earlier this week and seems like a semi-decent idea. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm sure I'll absent mindedly eat a hamburger some day... like the time I was trying to find out what it felt like to be anorexic and my plan was foiled by an open package of smarties and a mental lapse. I'm a flake like that.

understanding, wasting time, cooking without a recipe (I'm a kitchen MacGyver), procrastinating, learning, giving a shit, creating ridiculously sophomoric parody songs that occasionally get played on the radio, and making websites that are appealing to the eye but get no traffic at all...

My hair probably... if you meet me online, i dunno my typos? I typo a lot on instant messenger. I have bad fingers. :( They defy me way too often.

You'd probably also notice my belly... and my ghetto booty. I'm working on reducing the size of em. But even when I'm thin, I got a big ole ass. I believe the kids call it junk in the trunk.

God... no really, yeh. I don't even believe in that guy. So lets go with independent thought. Not to say people who believe in god are somehow dependent or irrational in their thinking. But I wouldn't have survived life to this point without thinking for myself. That starts with the macrotype religious beliefs and carries itself all the way to superduper innermost emotions in my headbrain.

My growing stock of electronic entertainment and communication devices... even the ones i don't use anymore. I'm a magnet for the shit. I still sometimes sit and stare away in wonderment that somehow all of this works. And I don't have the first clue how!!! I mean i get how they say it works. But I'm convinced there's a miniature wizard in there somewhere they're not telling us about.

Um... I got nothing. I love my mom. But technically I could live without her... I'm gonna have to at some point. Which is sad, but it's also the point of her raising me in the first place. I don't want to, but it's inevitable.

I love my puppy dog, Ginger too. She = awesome... and cute.

That's not six, but to hell with your rules.

How to get my sweet little puppy dog to act like a sweet little puppy dog when there is food in front of her.

...and how to stop her from playing the butt trumpet. She's fuckin' Louis Armstrong, but you know...smellier.

Chillin' like a villain. And by that I mean hatching diabolical plots to take over Gotham.

Ok, after a year or so of having the dreaded, "you'll just have to ask me," as an answer to this question. I've decided to write something that's about as personal and private a statement as I could make.

I had a rather significant medical emergency six years ago that left me unable to speak for 2 years. Not at all a fun situation. It really changes your outlook on conversation when you're completely reliant on other people to interpret what you're trying to say without actually being able to tell them. Nuance is not really an option. It took a lot of hard work, but I've since recovered from that. And now, I've got a crazy awesome perspective on life. I do forget to engage in small talk from time to time. But who really misses that anyway?

Plus Uncle Sam is putting me through school because of it. Apparently, I'm a good investment. Go me.

and I'm an honorary black folk.

If you think I'm cute

If I made you laugh

If you want me to make you laugh

if you're sick of guys that lie

If you think Ill think you're cute ;)

If you're not sure I'll think you're cute, but you wanna see if I do

If you don't think I'll think you're cute, but you have a low opinion of yourself making your opinion on your looks not really all that important cuz you'd think you were ugly if you were the definition of beauty.

If you understood the logic behind that last sentence.

If you like to talk to someone who will listen and care and all that fun stuff people do when they're actually paying attention.

even if none of this stuff applies to you because I'm weird and I tend to be attracted to the most random things.

FYI: I usually have OKC open in a tab in my browser. And my browser is always open. So just because it says I'm online, doesn't mean I'll always see it if someone is IMing me. If I don't respond to you promptly, that's why. I'm much more likely to notice an email anyway. Even if it just says hi.