She's the sweetest and the sauciest
The loveliest and the naughtiest
She's Miss Buenos Aires in a world of lacy lingerie
However, I was never Miss Buenos Aires. I did compete in the Miss San Gennaro Festival by singing "Volare" Alex Chilton style! And lost.
As you can tell, I'm clever and have impeccable taste in music. And I'm fearless enough to sing offkey in Italian in front of a crowd of drunken old men.
I'm a fabulous cook (especially Italian), but also a fabulous restaurant-goer. I'm a great hiker, as I pack plenty of snacks and have never gone missing in Griffith Park. I'm a pop-culture geek who will kick your ass at Trivial Pursuit and Rock & Roll Jeopardy, and am a gracious loser who will smile when accepting the stale prawn crisps at Fox & Hound's quiz night.
I am the reigning champion of KISS Mini-Golf (and I don't even like KISS) and am undefeated (17 rounds) of Connect Four at Tony's Darts Away.
I'm addicted to film noir, especially Double Indemnity, along with nearly anything with Humphrey Bogart or Robert Mitchum. I also love dark comedies and have no shame in admitting my guilty pleasure viewing is Ladies And Gentlemen The Fabulous Stains or Valley Girl. Other favorites include Sunset Boulevard, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Sixteen Candles, Heathers, Roadside Prophets, Foxes, Gregory's Girl, The Man With The Golden Arm, Suburbia, Teresa's Tattoo, Office Space, In A Lonely Place, Maltese Falcon, The Usual Suspects, Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?, The Sentinel (the 1970s horror film, not the action flick), Happiness, Sid & Nancy, Starstruck ( the '80s Aussie flick, not the Disney one), Dream For An Insomniac, Night Of The Comet, An Education, Waterloo Bridge (the remake) and Atonement.
My insomniac viewing is currently Night Gallery, Alfred Hitchcock and Thriller, and I'm over the moon for the return of Orphan Black, Broadchurch and Bates Motel, plus The Fall on Netflix. That's certainly not as creepy as chicks who watch Sex And The City or The Bachelor!
I seem to lean toward a lot of garage, mod, Northern Soul and Eurotrash music, but my tastes are pretty eclectic. Looking forward to seeing Belle & Sebastian, Ride and the Replacements!
I love sushi, dim sum, Devil Dogs, bread, seafood, pasta and pie. I recently discovered fish tacos are not whole little fishies with head and bone intact and are quite delicious (not from SoCal, can you tell?). But nothing can compare to the simplistic deliciousness of a bacon-wrapped hot dog... except maybe a lamb burger from Alcove or my latest obsession: Mouls et frites.
Record collection (and my boxes of cassettes to go with my Sony Walkman that still works and is much more waterproof than an iPhone)
My Shaun Cassidy doll. The guitar is a secret message decoder!
Double-stick tape (you never know)
*By driven, I mean assertive and goal oriented. Not squired about by Uber or previous girlfriends. Please have a car and a valid driver license.
You like to take architecture tours, spend weekends at Pappy & Harriet's or Joshua Tree Inn, or just actually leave your apartment.
Please do not message if you are still obsessed with your prostitute ex or damaged from your wife leaving you for a geriatric rock star.