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PaperScratcher

25 F Cleveland, OH

My Details

Last Online
Nov 27, 2008
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
Height
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Religion
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Well, of all the things i could say about myself, i'd like to start with the fact that i despise the human race, but i still enjoy tugging the strings of a meatpuppet from time to time. I am cursed with the god-awful habit of cursing like a sailor. If you don't like that you can fuck off. Cunt is my favorite curse word because it is one of the few that is not overused and still manages to offend most people. Especially women, who are stupid cunts anyway for letting a random collection of letters that happen to be arranged in a seemingly random order offend them. Oh yeah, that's another thing, nothing offends me. Nothing.

If you're stupid, don't talk to me. Spare us both that experience, please.

I can't stand talking on the phone, so don't bother asking for my number. I usually only check my cell phone for messages once or twice a day. Upon listening to my voice mails i subsequently ignore and promptly delete them. I never call anyone. Never.

And i never wear makeup.

I take an interest in serial killers and enjoy speaking with others who share that interest. I also like good books, as they make good cup coasters for coffee, and movies as they are a cheaper, non-addictive alternative to sleeping pills. I especially enjoy the Holy Bible, as its pages come in handy when i run out of rolling papers. I am convinced that anything can be made into finger food if one is creative enough. I think blind hatred is a beautiful thing, and i exercise it as often as i can. Of course, there are a myriad of things i hate with what i believe to be good reason, such as Catholics. I at least have respect for every other religion, even other Christian denominations, but i really cannot stand Catholicism.

I haven't watched the news in about 3 or 4 years, so i have absolutely no idea what is going on in the world today. But it's alright, i'm content with that.

I'm not that good at receiving compliments, and even worse at giving them.

I refuse to believe the rumors that there are indeed a 6,7,8,and 9am, since i have never seen these hours. People have told me of their existence, but i'm never too quick to believe in anything supernatural (such as those ungodly hours of the morning) until i've experienced it first hand. And i dare say, i can't ever remember seeing those numbers on the clock other than in the evening.

I idolize Hayley Stark, Mickey and Mallory Knox, and Ted Kaczynski. Cookie for anyone who knows who the hell those people are. Google is cheating, and cheating is punishable by death.

I also enjoy putting brackets around random words that may appear to be completely irrelevant.

I am a firm believer that Girl Scout cookies are an acceptable breakfast food. Also great for lunch, dinner, and snacks in between.

Some other things i like include exotic animals, anything outdoors or involving nature, doing research on random topics, eating popcorn, singing in the shower loud enough for the neighbors to complain, proper use of the English language (though if you haven't noticed, i only capitalize the word "i" if it's at the beginning of a sentence, which i do intentionally), finding money in my pockets, having random people hand me money of any amount not not expecting it back, throwing stones at glass houses, semi-intellectual debates(since i can't keep up with the big dogs yet), teas of all kinds, minds, faces, and pawns. And i've recently taken an interest in basidiomycota, for reasons that are pretty obvious, but that i still don't care to discuss.

I think patriotism is not only foolish, but also dangerous to some degree.

I'm always looking for more minds to BS with, though i've come to find that they are not as abundant as i once thought. Sadly smart people are considered, in my opinion, to be an endangered specie.

I'm not only reluctant to meet anyone i talk to on this website, but am altogether unwilling. So don't bother asking. If you don't like it, you can suck the cock i don't have.

Oh, and i'm a fucking hippie in almost every way.

I am [adjective], [another adjective], and fill in the blank
What I’m doing with my life
Absolutely nothing.

I do have goals though, i plan to die someday. I'm not sure when, i guess i'll know when it happens, but i'm in no hurry to find out. The way i figure, i might as well make that a goal in life for two reasons; 1) i know that's something i can't possibly fail at, and 2) i need some kind of goal, even if that is considered grasping for straws.
I’m really good at
Pissing people off seems to come naturally for me. Another of my natural talents involves a gallon of orange juice and a hairdryer, but we won't get into that right now... I also excel at not giving a shit, eating all the food in the house, rippin' the ganja, and making excuses. Oh, and i'm well versed in lying, which is starting to get boring it seems.
The first things people usually notice about me
Is entirely dependent on where they initially meet me. If your first impression of me is when i'm at work, well you'll probably think i'm a pretty decent person, your run-of-the-mill good natured meatpuppet. But since y'all are readin' this crock of crap, y'all prolly be thinkin' i'm outta my tree.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Respectively... (but not necessarily in order)

Ishmael, 1984, Clockwork Orange, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, The Doors Of Perception, anything by Edgar Allen Poe, Lord of the Flies, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, Catch Me If You Can, Tao Te Ching, Walden, and Animal Farm. I really need to read more books.

Natural Born Killers, Jimmy and Judy, Hard Candy, Fight Club, Silence of the Lambs, Shooms, Pan's Labyrinth, Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Beerfest, Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle, and the Breakfast Club.

I listen to just about anything but polka. But my favorites bands are Blind Melon and Dusty Rhodes and the River Band.

Sea food is my crack. Enough said.
The six things I could never do without
Oxygen, water, food, sleep, music, and sex. In that order.

Love and shelter are overrated, they don't make the list.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much different the world would be if Hitler had been a flaming homosexual.

And sometimes i think about how different the world would be if Nixon had gotten drugged up on LSD at that tea party his wife had.

I often wonder what it would have been like if i had actually gotten a hippopotamus for Christmas.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about Shannon Hoon... i mean A LOT of time...
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing absolutely nothing productive or exciting, regardless of whether i'm at home or at work.

That is, doing absolutely nothing but getting baked off my gourd.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm actually a very convincing pre-op Tranny that gets off on meeting unsuspecting guys on the internet and scaring the hell out of them when they find my tool set on the first date.

Ok, i made that up, i was born a woman and always will be.
Shut up, i thought it was funny...

But honestly, um, ...well i don't usually wash my hands. Most people are appalled by that but can't justify why.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 19–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
You're just as stark raving mad as i am and would like someone to talk to. Or maybe you just shouldn't message me, i don't know. Just please don't message me asking why i'm so angry at the world (i'm not), and don't ask for a quick hook up either. If i wanted to get laid i would have mentioned that early on.

Oh, and just a heads up, if you're 30 or older, don't even bother messaging me, i will not be polite to you.

Bare in mind children: "In the natural world, beautiful usually means deadly. Beautiful with a casual demeanor always means deadly." - Edward O. Wilson in Naturalist